In Memorium
If only I’d stopped and knocked on your door;
If only I’d known you couldn’t take any more;
If only I’d been there, if only I’d called;
If I’d not been so busy - and once again stalled.
Why didn’t I see then, the pain in your eyes
and know that you felt so alone and despised.
Why didn’t I hear the hurt in your voice,
and know you were about to make your last choice!
Maybe if I had been home on that day,
I’d have changed things for you in some little way
Maybe if I’d chosen my words with more care,
I could have seen more and been more aware.
I feel so bewildered and torn from inside,
The truth of it all gives me nowhere to hide.
Each time the phone rings, though I know it’s not you,
I’m still trying to see things from your point of view.
God, help me find some true peace of mind,
without leaving the memories of this friendship behind.
Grant me the courage to start once again,
To trust in the love and the life of a friend.
My mother restored most of her journals that she could, and I have her book of passwords. If something you wrote did not get restored at Allmyimmortals or on other journals, please let me know. She chose to leave me, and this planet, last month. Hope that makes whoever happy. If you want to be mean, don't. I have lost my brother and mom, and I don't need RP nutters bashing her. I will just enjoy her writing and how funny she could be, and how much she cared about other people. Love you, Mom.
If only I’d known you couldn’t take any more;
If only I’d been there, if only I’d called;
If I’d not been so busy - and once again stalled.
Why didn’t I see then, the pain in your eyes
and know that you felt so alone and despised.
Why didn’t I hear the hurt in your voice,
and know you were about to make your last choice!
Maybe if I had been home on that day,
I’d have changed things for you in some little way
Maybe if I’d chosen my words with more care,
I could have seen more and been more aware.
I feel so bewildered and torn from inside,
The truth of it all gives me nowhere to hide.
Each time the phone rings, though I know it’s not you,
I’m still trying to see things from your point of view.
God, help me find some true peace of mind,
without leaving the memories of this friendship behind.
Grant me the courage to start once again,
To trust in the love and the life of a friend.
My mother restored most of her journals that she could, and I have her book of passwords. If something you wrote did not get restored at Allmyimmortals or on other journals, please let me know. She chose to leave me, and this planet, last month. Hope that makes whoever happy. If you want to be mean, don't. I have lost my brother and mom, and I don't need RP nutters bashing her. I will just enjoy her writing and how funny she could be, and how much she cared about other people. Love you, Mom.