in two weeks
Three months ago, I had all these plans. Plans to be intentional, to be selective, to prioritize summer. That plan crumbled once again. I know this sounds silly to you, but I've come to learn with each passing summer that planning is important and it makes it what it is. Every time the moment arrives to pack up and go, I'd come away feeling unsatisfied and incomplete- I've not given enough, I've not invested enough. And now it's too late a realisation to do much else- nothing turns back Time. And so I planned, please know I did. But I forgot, for my weakness sake, to plan a plan of sticking to these said priorities. This year, I've excitedly welcomed and embraced another in my life, but it also threw me off balance. In my head I'm thinking, 'It's fine' and that 'It's reasonable re-shuffling'- but why then do I finally find myself contemplating on these things? It isn't about what's reasonable or understandable. You make it what it is. And I've not done that for the people I love. I've not given them my all, I've not given them what I had planned, committed and set aside three months ago.
I realise I've always been one to grumble about what's never enough, or rather, what can never be enough. I'd blame the ticking clock, or question the age-long concept of calculating and numbering our days (as if!). It has always been about Me. My summer. My plans. My priorities. My fun. My life. But who am I kidding? It should never be about little ol' me, for nothing's ever going to be enough.
I can't help what will happen in two weeks, but I can help what happens in the time leading up to it. It's going to be hectic, just like every other summer but I'm gonna put my heart into each investment not because time is short, but because I really want to, I really really want to. And because you're the ones I miss the most when I'm there.
This I pray, Lord.
I realise I've always been one to grumble about what's never enough, or rather, what can never be enough. I'd blame the ticking clock, or question the age-long concept of calculating and numbering our days (as if!). It has always been about Me. My summer. My plans. My priorities. My fun. My life. But who am I kidding? It should never be about little ol' me, for nothing's ever going to be enough.
I can't help what will happen in two weeks, but I can help what happens in the time leading up to it. It's going to be hectic, just like every other summer but I'm gonna put my heart into each investment not because time is short, but because I really want to, I really really want to. And because you're the ones I miss the most when I'm there.
This I pray, Lord.