(no subject)
i feel like i could just die right now.
i'm HAPPY!
it feels so weird, yet so good to say that,
it had come to the point where that word was foreign to me.
it seems i'm losing friends left and right, i suppose its my fault but they don't help.
i don't know how i can fix things anymore.
Brittney had her baby tuesday, i really wish i could have been there to see her, but thankfully they are both doing well.
i'm really scared for her though,
i know even when the worst people whom you think should never have children wise up a little when they do, they learn to care for them and whatnot, but shes had a hard life and so will her baby, i really wish i could help her, she was once my best friend, then she changed so much, i barley recognize her.
people say you can't change someone, i don't believe that; if you wait, they WILL change sooner or later, everyone does.
i was thinking back to when i was younger, i was so different, back before i thought about how i need to find a car so i can drive, before having to decide on a college, before sex, before drugs, life was so much happier.
when lucy and fritz were still around; the fights with my sister, the oddness between my brother and i, when i still liked/loved my dad, back when my mom was actually home, and i got to see her everyday.
all of this is foreign.
i need to stop rambling on about unimportant things and get away this god-for-saken computer.
i'm going to the park with someone to take pictures in less than 30 minutes, i spent the whole day with them, he is the only reason i'm happy right now.
the other day i was talking to a friend about the guy i like, and have liked for a long time, they asked me why i don't just give up on him.
its true, he makes me cry sometimes, and makes me sad when i don't see him in a while...
but he also makes me the happiest i can possibly be.
THATS why i won't ever give up on him.
now i seriously need to get off this wretched machine.
i love you. don't ever think differently.
♥
i'm HAPPY!
it feels so weird, yet so good to say that,
it had come to the point where that word was foreign to me.
it seems i'm losing friends left and right, i suppose its my fault but they don't help.
i don't know how i can fix things anymore.
Brittney had her baby tuesday, i really wish i could have been there to see her, but thankfully they are both doing well.
i'm really scared for her though,
i know even when the worst people whom you think should never have children wise up a little when they do, they learn to care for them and whatnot, but shes had a hard life and so will her baby, i really wish i could help her, she was once my best friend, then she changed so much, i barley recognize her.
people say you can't change someone, i don't believe that; if you wait, they WILL change sooner or later, everyone does.
i was thinking back to when i was younger, i was so different, back before i thought about how i need to find a car so i can drive, before having to decide on a college, before sex, before drugs, life was so much happier.
when lucy and fritz were still around; the fights with my sister, the oddness between my brother and i, when i still liked/loved my dad, back when my mom was actually home, and i got to see her everyday.
all of this is foreign.
i need to stop rambling on about unimportant things and get away this god-for-saken computer.
i'm going to the park with someone to take pictures in less than 30 minutes, i spent the whole day with them, he is the only reason i'm happy right now.
the other day i was talking to a friend about the guy i like, and have liked for a long time, they asked me why i don't just give up on him.
its true, he makes me cry sometimes, and makes me sad when i don't see him in a while...
but he also makes me the happiest i can possibly be.
THATS why i won't ever give up on him.
now i seriously need to get off this wretched machine.
i love you. don't ever think differently.
♥