Jul 04, 2006 01:30
Meeting the Family Part 1
Pairing: Alexander/Hephaestion
Rating: Nothing worth rating. Just a small piece of humorous fiction.
Notes: I don't own them. They own themselves
My first fic!
Meeting the Family
"Come, Alexander. I want you to meet my grandmother, Nana." Hephaestion led the blonde to the back of the room where a wizened old woman sat dozing in her chair. At Amnytor’s household, every year or so, the entire family would reunite and during one of these special occasions, Hephaestion had brought Alexander to meet his family. Alexander smiled, and thought Hephaestion’s grandmother simply charming with her mouth hanging open and spittle collecting on her lower lip.
"Nana, Nana," Hephaestion called softly as he gently shook her awake. She opened her eyes with a jolt.
"Oh my dear, grandson! You have arrived." Hephaestion bent down and kissed her cheeks and stood smiling, while she praised his healthy coloring and tallness. "My, what a looker you have become, my boy! Just like your grandfather, may the gods bless his soul." She nodded gravely and patted her black veil. Hephaestion took this opportunity to introduce her to Alexander.
"Nana, this is my dear, dear-"
"Oh, I am so proud!" Nana squealed like a young girl and eagerly sat up in her chair. Alexander smiled brightly at such a reception. "You got yourself married! How lovely she is! Why the two of you make a handsome couple." His smile fell off his face. She looked upon Alexander with a fondness he would have found flattering had she not thought him a woman. Hephaestion struggled bravely not to laugh. "Why look at that tanned skin, not many girls have that since they prefer to stay home! I have always said that exercise is next to beauty and good health! My dear, how often do you exercise? Oh, but how pretty you are! Come here and give Nana a kiss!" She held her arms out towards the blonde, and he hesitantly went towards her and placed his lips upon her wrinkled cheek.
"What soft skin you have! And such fine hair! There aren’t that many blondes in Macedonia! Hephaestion, you’ve made a fine catch! And that narrow little waist for yours! I just can’t stop raving about you!" Hephaestion let out a few muffled giggles as Alexander’s face slowly reddened.
"My good lady, I must let you know that-"
"My dear, what a deep voice you have! Are you ill?"
"No, Nana, he-she’s fine. Just nerves." Hephaestion laughed at Alexander’s glare.
"Poor dear, meeting the entire family for the first time? A delicate little thing like yourself must be frightened!" Alexander opened his mouth to protest, but Nana hurried on. "Do not worry, my dear, for we are good people and you will certainly be loved here. Oh, I can’t wait until you start popping out those adorable little babies! My, won’t they be handsome just like their parents." She edged a little closer to the shocked Alexander and the shaking Hephaestion. "Have you started already?" She placed a hand on his taut stomach and winked at Alexander. Hephaestion decided to rescue his beloved before he humiliated the blonde further by laughing.
"Nana, Nana, Alexander is a man, not a woman and certainly not my bride." He spoke loudly near her ear, and she turned her nearly blind eyes on him.
"What kind of name is Alexander for such a sweet young girl? His parents must be foreigners!"
"No, they’re from Macedonia and-"
"Then the father must have been drunk when naming her! Or, must have been pinning for a boy. Do you not worry, my dear, for I know what it’s like to be unwanted because of our weaker sex. But without us women, men would be quite wretched and miserable. Who will comfort them, bear them children, take care of them, feed and clothe them? My dear granddaughter, I’m so happy you are here for my Hephaestion. He’s a good boy, and he deserves a good wife such as yourself to care for him. ‘Cause men do not know how, let me tell you. Why are trembling, my dear?"
Hephaestion knew it was useless to talk sense into his Nana when she was already fixated on an idea. He placed his hands on Alexander’s stiff shoulders.
"Nana, we must leave you to-"
"Of course, Hephaestion! Go and care for your woman! Such a delicate thing she is, you can tell by her hair color. No wonder blondes are practically extinct here in Macedonia! I worry about you bearing children, dear. Perhaps, you should wait until you feel stronger."
"Yes, Nana, we must go. Good-bye." With that they both quickly walked away.
"Such a pleasant girl," Nana turned to her maid who upon seeing that Hephaestion and the Prince left, immediately went to stand behind her mistress.
"What girl?"
"Why, Agatha, Hephaestion’s bride! Her virtue and innocence shines from her lovely countenance! Barely spoke a word and then meekly followed her husband away! If only there were more women like her." Agatha held back a smile as the crown prince of Macedonia was being declared a virtuous woman by her mistress. No wonder the boy looked so red.
"Agatha, can you see my son anywhere. I want to reprimand him for not inviting me to the wedding! That boy, just because he thinks I don’t need excitement doesn’t mean I couldn’t have attended my grandson’s wedding! Amnytor! Come here!" She yelled into the crowd. Agatha sighed. It’s going to be a long day.