Entry #35 : POOF!
Entry #35 : POOF!
Featuring : SJM
Beta-ed/QC-ed : virginangelic
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On a personal basis, I think Lee Soo Man’s got the sub unit’s name seriously wrong.
We’re not Super Junior M - and I’ll tell you just why.
Poof!
We’re live from Beijing, China, crossing some wobbly bridge with a bowl of water in our hands, palming some goddamn crazy gojira-huge needle hidden in paper hats and throwing ourselves about to an impromptu rendition of U in gojira-huge sumo suits like the super hot, super sexy rising teen idols we are.
Poof!
Then we’re running through crowds in Hong Kong, with me trying to grab every gift bag shoved into my face because they literally popped up between my eyebrows all of a sudden- and ignoring the fact that people are grabbing my ass like it is freakin’ Winnie the Pooh.
Poof!
We’re back in Korea in between every other country in this world - where we’d either be training in studios, or working on music for a probable future release or going up and down Ahjummanie’s store every now and then (no, not stalking) like a restless madman because I’m her biggest fan boy and everything in her shop > Harrods, I swear.
Poof!
Then we’re live in Bangkok, Thailand - getting pushed out to do solo hip thrusts on TV and tripping miserably with yet another foreign language that we picked up from Basic Thai for Idiots travel booklets because we really are linguistically ambitious like that.
Poof! Poof! POOF!
At the rate that we’re teleporting from one place to another nowadays, I was thinking that maybe Super Junior M should have been called Super Jumper M or something.
You know, as in the movie with the Anakin Skywalker dude...Jumper?
Like...DA JIA HAO...WO MEN SHI SUPER JUMPER M!
EM-EH-*POOF*!!!!
Anyway.
Boy, I haven’t seen so many stamps in the pages of my passport before - and now I think I’ve to get another one soon, perhaps with a magazine cut out of my face as the picture instead of the standard mug pose that makes officials heads turn.
If they don’t turn their heads, they’d turn my damn passport - to a full 360 degree angle, too!
Aiya!
No, I’m not kidding - I swear this has happened lots of times before. They’d look at my current picture, stare harder at it, bring it closer to the light and then they’d tilt their heads at me.
Then they’d go: You need to change your picture, Mr Lau. How old were you when this is taken?
YAH!
What is my age, again?
I don’t think I’ve changed much, if not at all, really.
I still look pretty much the same way I do in my junior high school year book - with that ground-breaking GIGOLO shirt and all. That was really cool, my kiddie mug shot, I swear it still is.
So I’d really like to point to my head and go ‘it’s just the idol hair, sir/ma’am’ but I don’t want to hold up the line or get my ass detained for snorting at an official or anything, so I would just nod and smile.
Anyway.
It was a hot, hot, hot Friday in Thailand - and Han Geng was regretting something he did.
My charismatic and cool leader, he introduced me to a tropical fruit that I’d never heard of before - but what he didn’t expect was the damn thing to eat my freakin’ brains straightaway.
Lychees are nowhere as spicy as Tom Yam Goong - but it sure as Hell is Ong Bak crazy-awesome to me, I swear on anything and everything that they are.
Hmmmm…Linchi dee mak!
Lychee very good!
Basic Thai for Idiots, that’s what I picked up from the airport the day before. Super Jumper M the linguistically ambitious, remember?
“I know you like to eat everything, Henli ah,” My leader was saying, talking to me like he’d talk to a child who was about to cross a potentially dangerous road.
Like, look left then look right. Then look left again. Come, let’s hold hands now…Mommy will cross with you!
“…But you cannot eat too much of these! Do you know that this will make your body temperature soar?”
So like the pesky kid who took Mommy Han Geng’s hand, I blankly shook my head at the new information I was getting about my most favourite fruit in Thailand - and possibly the universe - right then.
Next to him, SujuMan’s Gabriel Shiwon (permanently stuck, yes) was holding the intricately designed rattan fruit basket - with that kind of smile that told me he was actually going to dish out a blackmail of some sort, the second Han Geng stops lecturing me and steps out to resume his leadership duties.
Maybe he was going to say: give me a piggy back all the way to the next TV station, or these are history.
Bionic man Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he really, really, really likes getting piggy backs to everywhere.
‘Just showing my affection to my hyungs and dongsaengs, that’s all’, he’d tell you just that.
I guess what he totally forgot is the fact that he weighs like a goddamn Triceratops - and I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he would be the core reason when any of the SujuMan members release a press statement saying that he has osteoporosis one day, I swear.
And Han Geng continued, “The heat is terrible here. I don’t want you to get a heatstroke!”
Speaking of which, we thought he passed out the other day before we went on to do a show.
Turns out he was only sleeping - and we learnt that nowadays, Han Geng sleeps through Armegeddon.
“But,” I started to argue, frowning at the fact that the lychees were so near yet so far from my reach.
“I really, really, really like them hyung. And I only ate a few last night…I hadn’t had any for today!”
“A few!” Han Geng snorted, the jerk of his eyebrows up his forehead telling me I had to be freakin’ kidding him.
“Ryeowookie told me you stole his, Jongjun-sshi’s and Shiwon’s just yesterday!”
“Hey!” I blinked at him, sputtering at that. “Stole?! I didn’t steal them! They said I could eat theirs…so I did!”
“But you shouldn’t have eaten all of theirs - that’s almost a KILO’s worth of lychees, Henli!”
“But…Linchi dee mak!”
Shiwon shook his head, but he was laughing his ass off at how I was angrily bouncing in my seat in my plea for innocence from such an absurd accusation - and at the fact that I was randomly Muay Thai-ing Thai the way Jedi Master Yoda ninjas his English in Star Wars.
“And now you’ve resorted to stealing Shiwonnie’s again-“
“I’m not stealing!”
“You ran into this room and the first thing you grabbed was this basket-”
“You said I could have them earlier in the day - You said ‘when we get back to the hotel, Henry’!”
“And now I’m saying that this fruit has turned you into an addict!”
Oh, hey. So start Lychees Anonymous and send me to rehab, then.
Please laugh - I think that’s really funny as Hell. Doesn’t everybody think so? Don’t you?
Hellllllo?
My brief reunion with the rest of the Super Junior guys for the Super Show concert here clearly revealed to you that I spent most of my free time hanging around Kim Yeh Sung and getting myself murdered over and over again from his cold jokes.
“Henli ah. What do you get when you squeeze an olive?”
“Olive?”
“Yes, olive. What do you get when you squeeze one?”
“Uh…A very flat olive?”
“No! You get Oliver Twist!”
*YEH SUNG LAUGH*
Lychees and Yeh Sung’s jokes ate my freakin’ brains, Christ.
You know, Korea’s ultimate adorable boy Taemin (Seriously, whose son is this?!) ever told me that SHINee has this condition whenever their leader is being fruity with his attempt to humour everyone.
It’s called the Onyoo condition - and according to consensus, it annihilates atmospheres the way crazy nuclear bombs wipe out life.
So I was thinking, perhaps we should have a Yeh Sung condition too - seeing just how extremely gifted he is in being the celebrated dork god I’ve always seen him as.
But the difference between Taemin and I is that…I actually enjoy getting the Yeh Sung condition.
Like...Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Keith!
Keith who?
Keith me and find out.
Oh my God.
Right. ANYWAY!
Han Geng went on about the SIIDP and about needing to learn to control my food intake because I’m definitely the hardcore pig with the storage space the size of the universe and it was not a really good thing when we’re jet setting as if we’re goddamn UN representatives and all.
He thinks I’m bloody 8 years old, in case you forgot. Brent Kingston thinks I’m 12, regardless of how many times I bragged to him that I’ve experienced technical sex with my Lee Sungmin.
Then I got my hair trimmed a little - and now everyone says I look like I’m 14 years old.
But you must never underestimate the power of my cheeks, really.
*Evil Kangin giggle*
Anyway.
He kind of freaked out when Gabriel Shiwon’s beautiful heart eventually gave in to my sulking.
“Here you can have them,” Bionic man said, extending the basket to me all of a sudden.
Like meat dangled before a crocodile, I immediately made a grab for it. “YAY!”
“Yah, NO!” Han Geng cried, shoving the basket back to Shiwon with an angered huff.
“I just told him off and now you’re going to give him your lychees?! You’re not helping me at all!”
“But…Look at him, hyung ah,” Shiwon said, motioning at me with a quick jerk of his bottom lip.
I put on my best puppy dog look I could ever attempt doing. I usually fail at it. Zhou Mi, on the other hand, is hella gifted or something in pulling such expressions - and sometimes he doesn’t have to try at all.
“You can tell he really likes it, and he’s the only one among us who hardly falls sick at all anyway.”
“Yes!” I yelped, nodding like a madman on speed. “My immune system is very, very, very good!”
“But people with very good immune systems tend to fall terribly sick when they get ill.”
“But…LINCHI DEE MAK, hyung ah! Please, please, please? I won’t eat them anymore after this.”
Like, right, I wouldn’t. Put a gun to my head and I’d still eat them, I swear - as my last meal on Earth.
President of Lychees Anonymous, that’s definitely me in the making alright.
“You cannot eat anymore of this! Why are you so stubborn nowadays, Henli ah?”
“Well, because…Linchi dee mak!”
“No. No more. Keep those away from him, Shiwonnie ah. Ah! Give them to Seunghwan-sshi!”
“What?” I gasped, horrified at the suggestion. It sounded like a goddamn death sentence.
“No, no - not to Aslan!”
"Har?" Han Geng blinked at me when I blurted my manager’s nickname. “Aslan?”
Like...TO NARNIA!
And I went, “Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?”
“Read my lips,” my leader smiled, pointing a finger to his mouth.
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. No. NO!”
“But-” I stomped my feet. I seriously am getting horribly reckless by being such a baby.
And Han Geng silenced me with a stern, “The end, Henli.”
And it sounds just like listen to Mommy, Henry Liu Xian Hua - I know what’s best for you, period.
But Shiwon on the other hand, he really is the kind of man you’d really want to say ‘God bless you, child’ to at the end of every sentence you say to him - if you can manage it the way he does sometimes, that is.
Han Geng left to a phone call from Aslan Seunghwan-sshi (leadership…tough!), and of course the Bionic man handed me the basket like he said he would.
“YAY! THANK YOU, HYUNG AH!”
“SHH!”
“Sorry!”
Boy, was I this close to crying. Goddamn overdramatic, me. I must have reached Nirvana level or damn well crossed over it.
“Eh…” I groaned, when I realized that he handed me only a few measly pieces. “Just this?”
“Yes, of course. The Bible says ‘the treacherous are caught by their own greed’, Henli ah. Look on the bright side…at least you get to eat them, right? Just don’t tell Han Kyungie hyung about this one. Okay?”
Bible talk, I see. I don’t ever dare put that down or he would really freakin’ sit on me.
“Okay!”
And then he bloody well kicked me out of the room, so that he could keep the rest out of my reach and knowledge, for like, forever or something.
However, the eyes at the back of my head were keeping a very close watch on where he was going to hide the remaining of the lychees in this room through the crack of the door that I was closing behind me.
God says greed is a very, very, very bad thing.
LINCHI…DEE MAK!
Well I guess I’ll be damned, then.
*Leeteuk laugh*
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JongJun-sshi is our other manager and he’s pretty much the most Zen person in the solar system.
That means, compared to Aslan Seunghwan-sshi, he doesn’t really hit the roof easily whenever Donghae and I go off running about backstage prior to any recording to any show Super Jumper M are going to be on - we have a knack of doing that since we can really die from waiting around for everything to be set up and stuff.
“Ah! What are you two devils up to now?”
Devils, he says. Hah!
But yeah, similar to the Aslan, he thinks that we’re only being playful because we enjoy keeping him up and about on his toes all the time and tiring him out by having to chasing us around all the time.
Well, I’m sorry but hyperactive and restless maniacs exist, hyung…
Tough!
In this universe, you have small gods like Lee Soo Man and Kim Yeh Sung, and you’d totally see Kim Heechulism is already reaching to their level of influence, seriously.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway.
I tried to hide the plastic bag I had been carrying behind me as we whirled around in our surprise to face him, but JongJun-sshi already had the turned-up palm of his hand calmly extended.
Then, with a knowing smirk, he went, “whose is it now?”
“Uhm,” Donghae’s big, big, big eyes rounded to the birth of a halo above his head. “Whose is what?”
“Is it Shiwonnie’s?”
“Uhm…” I exchanged a brief look with Donghae. “Really don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Don’t think I don’t know that the lychees-“
We had to jump on him at that.
“SHHHHHHHHH!” We both went, almost stepping on his loafers with Donghae’s hand flying to the older man’s mouth, causing the rest of the words in his sentence to come out muffled.
“Don’t say the L word!” Donghae whispered, slowly taking the cover off when JongJun-sshi’s eyes flickered madly to the sudden attack, but he looked more confused rather than stunned.
Then he blurted, “I can’t believe you two actually STOLE again-“
“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Whaaaaaaaaat?
Lychees addicts exist...TOUGH!
“No wonder Seunghwan sleep talks nowadays!” Our manager said, shaking his head at us.
“You two…Aish! Will you please stop eating when you’re not running around all the time?”
Stop eating, he says. He must have forgotten that he’s talking to Pigs R Us, seriously. STML much?
Hyung ah, sorry but…We love to eat and we’re never gonna stop - Life couldn’t get better, hey!
*Leeteuk laugh*
“What?” Donghae laughed. “Seunghwan-sshi sleep talks about us?”
“You two drive really him up walls,” JongJun-sshi sighed.
“He’s always going ‘hyung ah, the liang zhi lao hu are getting naughtier and naughtier everyday! Can I just put a leash around their necks?’ mid snoring!”
“Liang zhi lao hu?” I gave him an amused look. “Two tigers?”
“That’s what he calls you two. Liang zhi lao hu, the two tigers - the song that you two like so much?”
Captain Kingston went into the studio in my head immediately, and started doing what he does best: Manipulating nursery rhymes, because he can be so smashingly original in a non-original way like that.
Liang zhi lao hu… Liang zhi lao hu…(two tigers, two tigers)
Pao de kuai… Pao de kuai…(they run fast, they run fast)
Dong hai zhen ke ai…Henry ye zhen ke ai…(Donghae is cute, Henry is cute too)
Zhen tiaopi…Zhen qi guai…(they are naughty, very strange)
*Gojira Leeteuk laugh*
If you’re crazy and you know you clap your hands!
*CLAP CLAP*
Oh, hey - look at my marbles rolling away from me. I swear I wasn’t born and raised to be a madman, but adolescence started the Big Bang - and I’m not talking about the one with the T-O-P.
Sorry, Mom. Sorry, God.
Anyway.
The good thing here is that, we made JongJun-sshi swear that he didn’t see anything - and so Donghae and I (Okay, mainly me. Donghae’s more of a mango kind of guy) eventually finished the entire bag within half of an hour before everyone else floods into the studio to begin sound and stage check…
Linchiiiiiiii…dee mak!
…And then I decided to go into the dressing room and have another go at being the friendly, nosey psychological terrorist that I’ve been trying to be for the past couple of weeks.
Lately, Kim Ryeowook had been as quiet as a business analyst of some sort - if not a damn doorknob. He’s there, in my face as usual, but considerably zoned out nowadays.
I found him sitting in the chair before the gojira-huge mirror, like, where else would he be really.
“Hyung!”
He made it sound like I just interrupted his studies or something. “Hm!”
Throwing a glance over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear and the door was closed, I bounced over to him with a bright, super angelic smile on my face.
“So? Are you going to tell me what’s going on now? You still owe me a story!”
His cheekbones raised high with ridiculed might at that and he said, “Right. I owe you nothing.”
“Aw, hyung!” I grabbed at his arm, dropping into the seat next to him after I shifted it closer.
“Come on! What’s happening between you and KyuHyun hyung?”
“Don’t be a busybody!” Ryeowook dismissed me with a great flip of yet another page.
Aiya!
My dork god Yeh Sung was so going to smack me upside down for this - and while normal cats get killed for being curious as Hell…
“Tell me…tell me…t-t-t-t-t-t-tell me…”
Here lies Henry Lau - Maybe it was too much of that Yeh Sung condition nonsense.
“Stop playing with the hairdryer Henli ah. Dorothy’s going to murder you if they break.”
I stopped for a second to blink at him. “Who’s Dorothy?”
“Yes. For today, she’s working with our hairstylists. She’s French.”
Huddling closer, I gave Ryeowook an innocent look and went, “Are you and KyuHyun…a couple?”
“And she speaks funny Korean but very fluent Mandarin! Ah…I’m so jealous of her!”
Granite-headed, I swear he was being one all over again - like, I’d ask ‘A’ and he’d reply ‘TEN!’ Christ.
But I ain’t backing down, as usual. “You have to be. I saw you kissing!”
“Yah, Mojji! You smell like…lychees! Ha! Have you been eating them again?!”
“So does this mean…KyuHyun hyung feels the same way you do?”
“YAH!”
That did it.
He rolled the magazine in his hands, and irritably swatted my arm like I was some crazy, buzzing fly.
“Zip it,” Ryeowook snapped out the order, giving me the kind of glare that you’d give someone when someone’s just being a bloody pain right then.
“You don’t seem happy,” I continued, persistent and stubborn as Hell. “So…there’s nothing?”
“I’m warning you. One more time, and you’re going to wake up tomorrow bald, Henli ah!”
Jeez.
What is up with threatening my lovely idol follicles, yo? It’s one of my greatest weaknesses nowadays!
“But hyung-“
The door swung open with a loud click at the turn of the doorknob, startling the both of us.
“…I can’t find the original shirt they wanted Kui Xian to wear, and now I’ve lots of designs!”
Ryeowook took this chance to shove me a bit, his dismissal absolute this time around - and went back to happily reading an article about perfect skin or something.
“Fine,” I huffed, sticking my bottom lip out a little. “It’s not like I can’t bother you tomorrow. Or the day after. And the day after that… I can bother you EVERYDAY!"
Yi zhi lao hu…Yi zhi lao hu…(One tiger, one tiger)
Hen ke ai…hen ke ai...(He’s so cute…he’s so cute)
“Good luck in advance, Henli ah.”
Ta de ming zi jiao Henry…(His name is Henry…)
Ta shi zhen tiaopi (He is very naughty…)
“You’re going to have to tell me sooner or later you know - because I'm going to bug you until you do!"
Ta qi guai…Ta qi guai…(He’s so strange, he’s so strange)
“I’ll tell you later then!”
AIYA, this guy!
Grumbling to myself, I grabbed my chair and shifted back to where I was when Dorothy into our atmosphere with her dark blonde curls bouncing like tiny little springs on her head.
Zhou Mi walked in after her, blinding me with the superbly lime green cardigan he was wearing.
I waved, but the two of them seemed to be in some kind of presidential discussion or something.
“Okay. Kui Xian wants me to take a look at them,” Zhou Mi was saying, hands on his hips now.
“He’s not here yet but he says he’s going to be fine with whatever I choose. And I don’t think anything from this one suits his style. Is there another set?”
Pushover Mimi in the house!
“Another set?!”
Dorothy gave Zhou Mi the kind of look you’d give a person when you’re unsure of what was being stated right then because you damn well know how to do your job and you sure as Hell don’t feel too hot about taking smack from some snotty, rising kid idol right then.
“Yes, please.”
It’s becoming a universal fact - Super Jumper M’s resident Care Bear kind of fails at reading the air at times, especially when he is a little overly excited about some things.
“There’s no other set, Zhou Mi,” the woman replied, her tone gradually turning icy at each word.
“You or him can pick anything from this one stretch here and that’s it - unless if you’d prefer to see Kui Xian to be stylishly topless later.”
For some reason I seriously think Zhou Mi would totally opt for the latter.
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Twenty minutes to actual recording, and I was sitting in an oven like a baking, stuffed turkey.
“Let him choose. What will it be Kyumong ah? Beige or maroon?”
“Beige.”
“On white? But…no contrast!”
“Fine. Maroon then.”
“But the contrast is too…I don’t know. The maroon is kind of overpowering…”
Between Ryeowook and Zhou Mi, Cho KyuHyun looked like he was ready to explode right then.
“Then I’m fine with the beige,” he answered curtly, folding his arms as he nodded at the cardigan Ryeowook was holding up in front of him.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I think you’d look way better in maroon.”
Oh Hell yes - he’s been having a right ball learning Korean from KyuHyun, he says.
And only KyuHyun - he kind of doesn’t approach the other members much when it comes to lessons, except when he is part of a group conversation or interview and whatnots.
Boy.
If that’s not called developing a goddamn crush the size of Nebraska on the guy, then I don’t know what the Hell Zhou Mi would want to term it as, seriously.
Well how I know all of this is simple, really.
It’s as obvious as a freakin’ alien spaceship landing in the middle of a baseball game!
“He says he’s fine with the beige, Mimi ah,” Ryeowook debated, jerking his eyebrow at the sweatshirt Zhou Mi was happily flagging around before him.
“Why look fine when you can look finer?” The Chinese replied, his Korean oh-so-foreigner.
“He already said he’s fine - that means he’s at his finest. He’s got good taste, Mimi ah.”
I had to start and think: Whoa.
Was I really going to see the first ever Super Jumper M’s first fist fight?
Like...finally?
Okay. Maybe not a fist fight, considering just how effeminate these two are (Zhou Mi’s just capable of destroying his initially charismatic personality nowadays by becoming such a girl, and get this - he doesn’t even realize it), so maybe what I was actually looking at was a possible cat fight?
Meow?
“Maroon,” Zhou Mi went, determined as Hell to win this argument. “Because it brings out the colour of his eyes!”
Imagine me as part of an audience so absorbed in paying attention to this gripping drama, going: Uhm…I don’t remember KyuHyun having purple eyes.
“KyuMong’s always wearing dark clothes. We need to shed some light on his attire!”
Next to me, KyuHyun is the second palest one in the group. A little more light would have turned him into a freakin’ glow worm.
I continued to sit there passively, thinking about how heated things were starting to get, wondering if the air conditioning in this small room was going to fry soon…wondering if I’m going to have a wonderful tan if not, a horrible sunburn, after stepping out of this…
“Okay. STOP!”
KyuHyun’s arms shot up, brandishing his two palms into the faces of the bickering duo as he promptly silenced them with the might of his voice’s agitation.
“Why am I letting you guys do this to me again?” He went, standing up now and shooting the both of them an irritated scowl that could have easily vaporized freakin’ Mount Fuji.
Possibly...The DraKyuHyun Returns?
“Because you told me to pick for you, Kui Xian. I’m only doing it because you want me to,” Zhou Mi appeared indignant at the way KyuHyun was talking to him right then.
“I was just…” KyuHyun’s expression softened a little at the answer. But just a little. The scowl was still there. You’d need a real iron to straighten KyuHyun’s frown out sometimes, I’m not kidding I swear.
“Mimi ah!”
And the Care Bear snapped,“What?”
Meeeow!
Zhou Mi’s lips formed a superbly tiny pout - and I tell you, this is one of those tiny, tiny things that he does that has the world at the edge of their seats to see just how many of those ‘unforeseen aegyos’ he could do.
Yes. I’ve a lot to comment now. Because I wasn’t saying anything back then. I was part of the audience to the drama, for once and I was alright with being just that.
KyuHyun continued to stare at Zhou Mi and I was seriously expecting a smile to appear soon.
But it didn’t. Instead, he turned his head to Ryeowook - who was souring tenfolds too, shoulders Hella rigid and all.
“Hyung,” he said, planting a hand on my love fighter sensei’s arm. “I’m just being silly. Thanks for being so concerned but-”
And Ryeowook snapped, “But what, Kyumong?”
And the audience in the gasps : Uh-Oh.
Meeeow!
I think the viewer ratings are going up now…
KyuHyun’s words kind of died for a second there, and I could tell that he was somewhat very, very, very amused and somewhat felt very guilty that he just started something so goddamn silly like telling people to pick his clothes for him in the first place.
Because the thing about the DraKyu is that, he’s a great guy and all that - but he’s pretty got a sadistically sarcastic sense of humour at times. He probably learnt and absorbed Kim Heechulism in another method.
Believe me, I know. My Hell had a king and his name was synonymous to Cho KyuHyun before.
Oh, and the other thing is KyuHyun didn’t feel like asking for my help now that he was standing between two silently glowering figures, feeling the chill of the room dropping to a degree lower as the ice began to thicken…
“I’ve decided,” he suddenly spoke up, his voice causing hairline cracks to appear in the intensely solidifying atmosphere. We needed that to happen, like, ASAP.
The scanning of his black, black, black eyes stopped at a shirt. “I’m wearing that one.”
And the background music to the scene goes: Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn!!!!
“You’re going to wear that?” Zhou Mi looked like he was just slapped across the face.
Ryeowook gave the striped shirt a disapproving stare. “But you wore that, like, two days ago!”
"So? I wore the same thing for a good few weeks when we first started promoting ‘U’.”
“But everyone’s getting a new wardrobe for the interview today.”
“I’m fine with this one really. They washed it, okay!”
“So you don’t like what I chose for you. Whatever,” Zhou Mi rolled his eyes, tossing the maroon cloth he had been wringing in his hands into the empty chair next to mine.
Meee-ow!
Then without another word, he walked straight out of the dressing room - if you can call stomping your feet 6 feet into the ground at every goddamn step walking.
I was about to get up when a beige cardigan came hurling into my face, and if I had been a little more melodramatic the damn thing would have sent me toppling over my seat.
“You look funny in stripes, Kyumong.”
And with that, Ryeowook stalked out - leaving me in awe at how hard his jaw was clenched right then when he moved past me to head for the other EXIT door in this room.
Meeeeeee-ow!
The mild, rolling thunder remained on the ceiling above us…
Wow.
Okay.
I tried to not look at KyuHyun with any kind of expression to say that I was on someone’s side right then - but who was I kidding, man? I didn’t even need to say a damn word!
The DraKyuHyun, I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he is able to read minds (and snap necks, and boils eggs…etc. Just use your imagination) just by a single, charismatic throw of his death glare.
Believe me, I freakin’ know.
So he bloody well knew that Zhou Mi and Ryeowook, they weren’t really angry at him.
Yes. If you’re anywhere near my frequency of thinking, you’d get my drift here.
KyuHyun plucked the shirt he chose off the hangar as he huffed irritably under his breath.
“Bah…GIRLS!”
I burst into a string of amused chuckles at that, not that I meant to be such a retard or anything - but calling Zhou Mi and Ryeowook 'girls' was somewhat a funny-but-Hella-true thing, no?
The KRY makes me kry and the KRZ is krazy.
*YEH SUNG CONDITION*
Anyway!
You can just see that the drama ratings are going to hit the goddamn roof, man.
Dun. Dun. DUUUUUUUUUNNN…
Oh well.
I got up to return the abandoned clothes back into wardrobe at the other end of the room when Choi Gabriel Shiwon suddenly barged into the dressing room with his eyebrows knitted together to the middle of his forehead.
He doesn’t look like a Gabriel when he’s angry, by the way.
“Henli ah, do you have cash with you right now?”
“Uh…Thai currency?”
“No, Korean. Of course Thai! Do you have it or not?”
“Yes, hyung. Why?”
“Good! Here’s what I want you to do,” he said, the mighty click of his tongue unpleasant.
“When we drove up here, did you see the push cart stall right outside the other entry to the basement parking lot of this building?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think it’s still there?”
Heh?
“Uh…I think so.”
“Well, it is.”
What the hell, this guy?
“Uh…okay. So…?”
Shiwon’s eyes narrowed at my question, as if I just gave him the Yeh Sung condition.
“We only have five minutes before we gather, so you’re going to bring your wallet, and run to that stall right now, Henli ah. Run as fast as you can. You’re a fast runner, right?”
“Now? But it’s at the other end of this huge place! So far! What do you want me to buy anyway?”
“What do you think?” Bionic man snorted.
“Funny story, Henli ah. I just bought lychees for everyone -again - to eat at the hotel later…and suddenly, POOF!”
Oh.
AIYAAAA!!!
“So I wonder…who oh who in Super Junior M ate them all, hmmmmmmmmmmmm?”
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-credits to :
sassydork - I D K. You're just very helpful, that's all LOL!
sugarwarrior - for the crash course mando, and the Two Tigers re-write!
kyodomo - for THIS, OH MY GODS!!!!!!
AND saranglove lol for all random pokings and...well...surviving through my WTFH spazzings lol...*HUGS OF DOOMZ*
LOL! Thanks for all the fish, guys.
Hello!
- suffered from gojira-huge writer's block. Very sorry!
- Again, I can't think of any smashing subject so..POOF!!!!
- This chapter is somewhat 'dedicated' to the whole Henry and lychee obsession in one of the Thailand interviews. Don't ask, really.
- no pic spams. Will try to do when there's freakin' time lol.
- CONGRATULATIONS TO SUJU FOR WINNING THE BEST KOREAN ARTIST AWARD!!! If Soshi had won I'd stab people chopsticks. Sorry, May! teehee
- and I hope this is okay?
*Leeteuk laugh*
Featuring : SJM
Beta-ed/QC-ed : virginangelic
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
On a personal basis, I think Lee Soo Man’s got the sub unit’s name seriously wrong.
We’re not Super Junior M - and I’ll tell you just why.
Poof!
We’re live from Beijing, China, crossing some wobbly bridge with a bowl of water in our hands, palming some goddamn crazy gojira-huge needle hidden in paper hats and throwing ourselves about to an impromptu rendition of U in gojira-huge sumo suits like the super hot, super sexy rising teen idols we are.
Poof!
Then we’re running through crowds in Hong Kong, with me trying to grab every gift bag shoved into my face because they literally popped up between my eyebrows all of a sudden- and ignoring the fact that people are grabbing my ass like it is freakin’ Winnie the Pooh.
Poof!
We’re back in Korea in between every other country in this world - where we’d either be training in studios, or working on music for a probable future release or going up and down Ahjummanie’s store every now and then (no, not stalking) like a restless madman because I’m her biggest fan boy and everything in her shop > Harrods, I swear.
Poof!
Then we’re live in Bangkok, Thailand - getting pushed out to do solo hip thrusts on TV and tripping miserably with yet another foreign language that we picked up from Basic Thai for Idiots travel booklets because we really are linguistically ambitious like that.
Poof! Poof! POOF!
At the rate that we’re teleporting from one place to another nowadays, I was thinking that maybe Super Junior M should have been called Super Jumper M or something.
You know, as in the movie with the Anakin Skywalker dude...Jumper?
Like...DA JIA HAO...WO MEN SHI SUPER JUMPER M!
EM-EH-*POOF*!!!!
Anyway.
Boy, I haven’t seen so many stamps in the pages of my passport before - and now I think I’ve to get another one soon, perhaps with a magazine cut out of my face as the picture instead of the standard mug pose that makes officials heads turn.
If they don’t turn their heads, they’d turn my damn passport - to a full 360 degree angle, too!
Aiya!
No, I’m not kidding - I swear this has happened lots of times before. They’d look at my current picture, stare harder at it, bring it closer to the light and then they’d tilt their heads at me.
Then they’d go: You need to change your picture, Mr Lau. How old were you when this is taken?
YAH!
What is my age, again?
I don’t think I’ve changed much, if not at all, really.
I still look pretty much the same way I do in my junior high school year book - with that ground-breaking GIGOLO shirt and all. That was really cool, my kiddie mug shot, I swear it still is.
So I’d really like to point to my head and go ‘it’s just the idol hair, sir/ma’am’ but I don’t want to hold up the line or get my ass detained for snorting at an official or anything, so I would just nod and smile.
Anyway.
It was a hot, hot, hot Friday in Thailand - and Han Geng was regretting something he did.
My charismatic and cool leader, he introduced me to a tropical fruit that I’d never heard of before - but what he didn’t expect was the damn thing to eat my freakin’ brains straightaway.
Lychees are nowhere as spicy as Tom Yam Goong - but it sure as Hell is Ong Bak crazy-awesome to me, I swear on anything and everything that they are.
Hmmmm…Linchi dee mak!
Lychee very good!
Basic Thai for Idiots, that’s what I picked up from the airport the day before. Super Jumper M the linguistically ambitious, remember?
“I know you like to eat everything, Henli ah,” My leader was saying, talking to me like he’d talk to a child who was about to cross a potentially dangerous road.
Like, look left then look right. Then look left again. Come, let’s hold hands now…Mommy will cross with you!
“…But you cannot eat too much of these! Do you know that this will make your body temperature soar?”
So like the pesky kid who took Mommy Han Geng’s hand, I blankly shook my head at the new information I was getting about my most favourite fruit in Thailand - and possibly the universe - right then.
Next to him, SujuMan’s Gabriel Shiwon (permanently stuck, yes) was holding the intricately designed rattan fruit basket - with that kind of smile that told me he was actually going to dish out a blackmail of some sort, the second Han Geng stops lecturing me and steps out to resume his leadership duties.
Maybe he was going to say: give me a piggy back all the way to the next TV station, or these are history.
Bionic man Choi Gabriel Shiwon, he really, really, really likes getting piggy backs to everywhere.
‘Just showing my affection to my hyungs and dongsaengs, that’s all’, he’d tell you just that.
I guess what he totally forgot is the fact that he weighs like a goddamn Triceratops - and I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he would be the core reason when any of the SujuMan members release a press statement saying that he has osteoporosis one day, I swear.
And Han Geng continued, “The heat is terrible here. I don’t want you to get a heatstroke!”
Speaking of which, we thought he passed out the other day before we went on to do a show.
Turns out he was only sleeping - and we learnt that nowadays, Han Geng sleeps through Armegeddon.
“But,” I started to argue, frowning at the fact that the lychees were so near yet so far from my reach.
“I really, really, really like them hyung. And I only ate a few last night…I hadn’t had any for today!”
“A few!” Han Geng snorted, the jerk of his eyebrows up his forehead telling me I had to be freakin’ kidding him.
“Ryeowookie told me you stole his, Jongjun-sshi’s and Shiwon’s just yesterday!”
“Hey!” I blinked at him, sputtering at that. “Stole?! I didn’t steal them! They said I could eat theirs…so I did!”
“But you shouldn’t have eaten all of theirs - that’s almost a KILO’s worth of lychees, Henli!”
“But…Linchi dee mak!”
Shiwon shook his head, but he was laughing his ass off at how I was angrily bouncing in my seat in my plea for innocence from such an absurd accusation - and at the fact that I was randomly Muay Thai-ing Thai the way Jedi Master Yoda ninjas his English in Star Wars.
“And now you’ve resorted to stealing Shiwonnie’s again-“
“I’m not stealing!”
“You ran into this room and the first thing you grabbed was this basket-”
“You said I could have them earlier in the day - You said ‘when we get back to the hotel, Henry’!”
“And now I’m saying that this fruit has turned you into an addict!”
Oh, hey. So start Lychees Anonymous and send me to rehab, then.
Please laugh - I think that’s really funny as Hell. Doesn’t everybody think so? Don’t you?
Hellllllo?
My brief reunion with the rest of the Super Junior guys for the Super Show concert here clearly revealed to you that I spent most of my free time hanging around Kim Yeh Sung and getting myself murdered over and over again from his cold jokes.
“Henli ah. What do you get when you squeeze an olive?”
“Olive?”
“Yes, olive. What do you get when you squeeze one?”
“Uh…A very flat olive?”
“No! You get Oliver Twist!”
*YEH SUNG LAUGH*
Lychees and Yeh Sung’s jokes ate my freakin’ brains, Christ.
You know, Korea’s ultimate adorable boy Taemin (Seriously, whose son is this?!) ever told me that SHINee has this condition whenever their leader is being fruity with his attempt to humour everyone.
It’s called the Onyoo condition - and according to consensus, it annihilates atmospheres the way crazy nuclear bombs wipe out life.
So I was thinking, perhaps we should have a Yeh Sung condition too - seeing just how extremely gifted he is in being the celebrated dork god I’ve always seen him as.
But the difference between Taemin and I is that…I actually enjoy getting the Yeh Sung condition.
Like...Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Keith!
Keith who?
Keith me and find out.
Oh my God.
Right. ANYWAY!
Han Geng went on about the SIIDP and about needing to learn to control my food intake because I’m definitely the hardcore pig with the storage space the size of the universe and it was not a really good thing when we’re jet setting as if we’re goddamn UN representatives and all.
He thinks I’m bloody 8 years old, in case you forgot. Brent Kingston thinks I’m 12, regardless of how many times I bragged to him that I’ve experienced technical sex with my Lee Sungmin.
Then I got my hair trimmed a little - and now everyone says I look like I’m 14 years old.
But you must never underestimate the power of my cheeks, really.
*Evil Kangin giggle*
Anyway.
He kind of freaked out when Gabriel Shiwon’s beautiful heart eventually gave in to my sulking.
“Here you can have them,” Bionic man said, extending the basket to me all of a sudden.
Like meat dangled before a crocodile, I immediately made a grab for it. “YAY!”
“Yah, NO!” Han Geng cried, shoving the basket back to Shiwon with an angered huff.
“I just told him off and now you’re going to give him your lychees?! You’re not helping me at all!”
“But…Look at him, hyung ah,” Shiwon said, motioning at me with a quick jerk of his bottom lip.
I put on my best puppy dog look I could ever attempt doing. I usually fail at it. Zhou Mi, on the other hand, is hella gifted or something in pulling such expressions - and sometimes he doesn’t have to try at all.
“You can tell he really likes it, and he’s the only one among us who hardly falls sick at all anyway.”
“Yes!” I yelped, nodding like a madman on speed. “My immune system is very, very, very good!”
“But people with very good immune systems tend to fall terribly sick when they get ill.”
“But…LINCHI DEE MAK, hyung ah! Please, please, please? I won’t eat them anymore after this.”
Like, right, I wouldn’t. Put a gun to my head and I’d still eat them, I swear - as my last meal on Earth.
President of Lychees Anonymous, that’s definitely me in the making alright.
“You cannot eat anymore of this! Why are you so stubborn nowadays, Henli ah?”
“Well, because…Linchi dee mak!”
“No. No more. Keep those away from him, Shiwonnie ah. Ah! Give them to Seunghwan-sshi!”
“What?” I gasped, horrified at the suggestion. It sounded like a goddamn death sentence.
“No, no - not to Aslan!”
"Har?" Han Geng blinked at me when I blurted my manager’s nickname. “Aslan?”
Like...TO NARNIA!
And I went, “Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?”
“Read my lips,” my leader smiled, pointing a finger to his mouth.
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. No. NO!”
“But-” I stomped my feet. I seriously am getting horribly reckless by being such a baby.
And Han Geng silenced me with a stern, “The end, Henli.”
And it sounds just like listen to Mommy, Henry Liu Xian Hua - I know what’s best for you, period.
But Shiwon on the other hand, he really is the kind of man you’d really want to say ‘God bless you, child’ to at the end of every sentence you say to him - if you can manage it the way he does sometimes, that is.
Han Geng left to a phone call from Aslan Seunghwan-sshi (leadership…tough!), and of course the Bionic man handed me the basket like he said he would.
“YAY! THANK YOU, HYUNG AH!”
“SHH!”
“Sorry!”
Boy, was I this close to crying. Goddamn overdramatic, me. I must have reached Nirvana level or damn well crossed over it.
“Eh…” I groaned, when I realized that he handed me only a few measly pieces. “Just this?”
“Yes, of course. The Bible says ‘the treacherous are caught by their own greed’, Henli ah. Look on the bright side…at least you get to eat them, right? Just don’t tell Han Kyungie hyung about this one. Okay?”
Bible talk, I see. I don’t ever dare put that down or he would really freakin’ sit on me.
“Okay!”
And then he bloody well kicked me out of the room, so that he could keep the rest out of my reach and knowledge, for like, forever or something.
However, the eyes at the back of my head were keeping a very close watch on where he was going to hide the remaining of the lychees in this room through the crack of the door that I was closing behind me.
God says greed is a very, very, very bad thing.
LINCHI…DEE MAK!
Well I guess I’ll be damned, then.
*Leeteuk laugh*
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JongJun-sshi is our other manager and he’s pretty much the most Zen person in the solar system.
That means, compared to Aslan Seunghwan-sshi, he doesn’t really hit the roof easily whenever Donghae and I go off running about backstage prior to any recording to any show Super Jumper M are going to be on - we have a knack of doing that since we can really die from waiting around for everything to be set up and stuff.
“Ah! What are you two devils up to now?”
Devils, he says. Hah!
But yeah, similar to the Aslan, he thinks that we’re only being playful because we enjoy keeping him up and about on his toes all the time and tiring him out by having to chasing us around all the time.
Well, I’m sorry but hyperactive and restless maniacs exist, hyung…
Tough!
In this universe, you have small gods like Lee Soo Man and Kim Yeh Sung, and you’d totally see Kim Heechulism is already reaching to their level of influence, seriously.
*Leeteuk laugh*
Anyway.
I tried to hide the plastic bag I had been carrying behind me as we whirled around in our surprise to face him, but JongJun-sshi already had the turned-up palm of his hand calmly extended.
Then, with a knowing smirk, he went, “whose is it now?”
“Uhm,” Donghae’s big, big, big eyes rounded to the birth of a halo above his head. “Whose is what?”
“Is it Shiwonnie’s?”
“Uhm…” I exchanged a brief look with Donghae. “Really don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Don’t think I don’t know that the lychees-“
We had to jump on him at that.
“SHHHHHHHHH!” We both went, almost stepping on his loafers with Donghae’s hand flying to the older man’s mouth, causing the rest of the words in his sentence to come out muffled.
“Don’t say the L word!” Donghae whispered, slowly taking the cover off when JongJun-sshi’s eyes flickered madly to the sudden attack, but he looked more confused rather than stunned.
Then he blurted, “I can’t believe you two actually STOLE again-“
“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Whaaaaaaaaat?
Lychees addicts exist...TOUGH!
“No wonder Seunghwan sleep talks nowadays!” Our manager said, shaking his head at us.
“You two…Aish! Will you please stop eating when you’re not running around all the time?”
Stop eating, he says. He must have forgotten that he’s talking to Pigs R Us, seriously. STML much?
Hyung ah, sorry but…We love to eat and we’re never gonna stop - Life couldn’t get better, hey!
*Leeteuk laugh*
“What?” Donghae laughed. “Seunghwan-sshi sleep talks about us?”
“You two drive really him up walls,” JongJun-sshi sighed.
“He’s always going ‘hyung ah, the liang zhi lao hu are getting naughtier and naughtier everyday! Can I just put a leash around their necks?’ mid snoring!”
“Liang zhi lao hu?” I gave him an amused look. “Two tigers?”
“That’s what he calls you two. Liang zhi lao hu, the two tigers - the song that you two like so much?”
Captain Kingston went into the studio in my head immediately, and started doing what he does best: Manipulating nursery rhymes, because he can be so smashingly original in a non-original way like that.
Liang zhi lao hu… Liang zhi lao hu…(two tigers, two tigers)
Pao de kuai… Pao de kuai…(they run fast, they run fast)
Dong hai zhen ke ai…Henry ye zhen ke ai…(Donghae is cute, Henry is cute too)
Zhen tiaopi…Zhen qi guai…(they are naughty, very strange)
*Gojira Leeteuk laugh*
If you’re crazy and you know you clap your hands!
*CLAP CLAP*
Oh, hey - look at my marbles rolling away from me. I swear I wasn’t born and raised to be a madman, but adolescence started the Big Bang - and I’m not talking about the one with the T-O-P.
Sorry, Mom. Sorry, God.
Anyway.
The good thing here is that, we made JongJun-sshi swear that he didn’t see anything - and so Donghae and I (Okay, mainly me. Donghae’s more of a mango kind of guy) eventually finished the entire bag within half of an hour before everyone else floods into the studio to begin sound and stage check…
Linchiiiiiiii…dee mak!
…And then I decided to go into the dressing room and have another go at being the friendly, nosey psychological terrorist that I’ve been trying to be for the past couple of weeks.
Lately, Kim Ryeowook had been as quiet as a business analyst of some sort - if not a damn doorknob. He’s there, in my face as usual, but considerably zoned out nowadays.
I found him sitting in the chair before the gojira-huge mirror, like, where else would he be really.
“Hyung!”
He made it sound like I just interrupted his studies or something. “Hm!”
Throwing a glance over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear and the door was closed, I bounced over to him with a bright, super angelic smile on my face.
“So? Are you going to tell me what’s going on now? You still owe me a story!”
His cheekbones raised high with ridiculed might at that and he said, “Right. I owe you nothing.”
“Aw, hyung!” I grabbed at his arm, dropping into the seat next to him after I shifted it closer.
“Come on! What’s happening between you and KyuHyun hyung?”
“Don’t be a busybody!” Ryeowook dismissed me with a great flip of yet another page.
Aiya!
My dork god Yeh Sung was so going to smack me upside down for this - and while normal cats get killed for being curious as Hell…
“Tell me…tell me…t-t-t-t-t-t-tell me…”
Here lies Henry Lau - Maybe it was too much of that Yeh Sung condition nonsense.
“Stop playing with the hairdryer Henli ah. Dorothy’s going to murder you if they break.”
I stopped for a second to blink at him. “Who’s Dorothy?”
“Yes. For today, she’s working with our hairstylists. She’s French.”
Huddling closer, I gave Ryeowook an innocent look and went, “Are you and KyuHyun…a couple?”
“And she speaks funny Korean but very fluent Mandarin! Ah…I’m so jealous of her!”
Granite-headed, I swear he was being one all over again - like, I’d ask ‘A’ and he’d reply ‘TEN!’ Christ.
But I ain’t backing down, as usual. “You have to be. I saw you kissing!”
“Yah, Mojji! You smell like…lychees! Ha! Have you been eating them again?!”
“So does this mean…KyuHyun hyung feels the same way you do?”
“YAH!”
That did it.
He rolled the magazine in his hands, and irritably swatted my arm like I was some crazy, buzzing fly.
“Zip it,” Ryeowook snapped out the order, giving me the kind of glare that you’d give someone when someone’s just being a bloody pain right then.
“You don’t seem happy,” I continued, persistent and stubborn as Hell. “So…there’s nothing?”
“I’m warning you. One more time, and you’re going to wake up tomorrow bald, Henli ah!”
Jeez.
What is up with threatening my lovely idol follicles, yo? It’s one of my greatest weaknesses nowadays!
“But hyung-“
The door swung open with a loud click at the turn of the doorknob, startling the both of us.
“…I can’t find the original shirt they wanted Kui Xian to wear, and now I’ve lots of designs!”
Ryeowook took this chance to shove me a bit, his dismissal absolute this time around - and went back to happily reading an article about perfect skin or something.
“Fine,” I huffed, sticking my bottom lip out a little. “It’s not like I can’t bother you tomorrow. Or the day after. And the day after that… I can bother you EVERYDAY!"
Yi zhi lao hu…Yi zhi lao hu…(One tiger, one tiger)
Hen ke ai…hen ke ai...(He’s so cute…he’s so cute)
“Good luck in advance, Henli ah.”
Ta de ming zi jiao Henry…(His name is Henry…)
Ta shi zhen tiaopi (He is very naughty…)
“You’re going to have to tell me sooner or later you know - because I'm going to bug you until you do!"
Ta qi guai…Ta qi guai…(He’s so strange, he’s so strange)
“I’ll tell you later then!”
AIYA, this guy!
Grumbling to myself, I grabbed my chair and shifted back to where I was when Dorothy into our atmosphere with her dark blonde curls bouncing like tiny little springs on her head.
Zhou Mi walked in after her, blinding me with the superbly lime green cardigan he was wearing.
I waved, but the two of them seemed to be in some kind of presidential discussion or something.
“Okay. Kui Xian wants me to take a look at them,” Zhou Mi was saying, hands on his hips now.
“He’s not here yet but he says he’s going to be fine with whatever I choose. And I don’t think anything from this one suits his style. Is there another set?”
Pushover Mimi in the house!
“Another set?!”
Dorothy gave Zhou Mi the kind of look you’d give a person when you’re unsure of what was being stated right then because you damn well know how to do your job and you sure as Hell don’t feel too hot about taking smack from some snotty, rising kid idol right then.
“Yes, please.”
It’s becoming a universal fact - Super Jumper M’s resident Care Bear kind of fails at reading the air at times, especially when he is a little overly excited about some things.
“There’s no other set, Zhou Mi,” the woman replied, her tone gradually turning icy at each word.
“You or him can pick anything from this one stretch here and that’s it - unless if you’d prefer to see Kui Xian to be stylishly topless later.”
For some reason I seriously think Zhou Mi would totally opt for the latter.
❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤
Twenty minutes to actual recording, and I was sitting in an oven like a baking, stuffed turkey.
“Let him choose. What will it be Kyumong ah? Beige or maroon?”
“Beige.”
“On white? But…no contrast!”
“Fine. Maroon then.”
“But the contrast is too…I don’t know. The maroon is kind of overpowering…”
Between Ryeowook and Zhou Mi, Cho KyuHyun looked like he was ready to explode right then.
“Then I’m fine with the beige,” he answered curtly, folding his arms as he nodded at the cardigan Ryeowook was holding up in front of him.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I think you’d look way better in maroon.”
Oh Hell yes - he’s been having a right ball learning Korean from KyuHyun, he says.
And only KyuHyun - he kind of doesn’t approach the other members much when it comes to lessons, except when he is part of a group conversation or interview and whatnots.
Boy.
If that’s not called developing a goddamn crush the size of Nebraska on the guy, then I don’t know what the Hell Zhou Mi would want to term it as, seriously.
Well how I know all of this is simple, really.
It’s as obvious as a freakin’ alien spaceship landing in the middle of a baseball game!
“He says he’s fine with the beige, Mimi ah,” Ryeowook debated, jerking his eyebrow at the sweatshirt Zhou Mi was happily flagging around before him.
“Why look fine when you can look finer?” The Chinese replied, his Korean oh-so-foreigner.
“He already said he’s fine - that means he’s at his finest. He’s got good taste, Mimi ah.”
I had to start and think: Whoa.
Was I really going to see the first ever Super Jumper M’s first fist fight?
Like...finally?
Okay. Maybe not a fist fight, considering just how effeminate these two are (Zhou Mi’s just capable of destroying his initially charismatic personality nowadays by becoming such a girl, and get this - he doesn’t even realize it), so maybe what I was actually looking at was a possible cat fight?
Meow?
“Maroon,” Zhou Mi went, determined as Hell to win this argument. “Because it brings out the colour of his eyes!”
Imagine me as part of an audience so absorbed in paying attention to this gripping drama, going: Uhm…I don’t remember KyuHyun having purple eyes.
“KyuMong’s always wearing dark clothes. We need to shed some light on his attire!”
Next to me, KyuHyun is the second palest one in the group. A little more light would have turned him into a freakin’ glow worm.
I continued to sit there passively, thinking about how heated things were starting to get, wondering if the air conditioning in this small room was going to fry soon…wondering if I’m going to have a wonderful tan if not, a horrible sunburn, after stepping out of this…
“Okay. STOP!”
KyuHyun’s arms shot up, brandishing his two palms into the faces of the bickering duo as he promptly silenced them with the might of his voice’s agitation.
“Why am I letting you guys do this to me again?” He went, standing up now and shooting the both of them an irritated scowl that could have easily vaporized freakin’ Mount Fuji.
Possibly...The DraKyuHyun Returns?
“Because you told me to pick for you, Kui Xian. I’m only doing it because you want me to,” Zhou Mi appeared indignant at the way KyuHyun was talking to him right then.
“I was just…” KyuHyun’s expression softened a little at the answer. But just a little. The scowl was still there. You’d need a real iron to straighten KyuHyun’s frown out sometimes, I’m not kidding I swear.
“Mimi ah!”
And the Care Bear snapped,“What?”
Meeeow!
Zhou Mi’s lips formed a superbly tiny pout - and I tell you, this is one of those tiny, tiny things that he does that has the world at the edge of their seats to see just how many of those ‘unforeseen aegyos’ he could do.
Yes. I’ve a lot to comment now. Because I wasn’t saying anything back then. I was part of the audience to the drama, for once and I was alright with being just that.
KyuHyun continued to stare at Zhou Mi and I was seriously expecting a smile to appear soon.
But it didn’t. Instead, he turned his head to Ryeowook - who was souring tenfolds too, shoulders Hella rigid and all.
“Hyung,” he said, planting a hand on my love fighter sensei’s arm. “I’m just being silly. Thanks for being so concerned but-”
And Ryeowook snapped, “But what, Kyumong?”
And the audience in the gasps : Uh-Oh.
Meeeow!
I think the viewer ratings are going up now…
KyuHyun’s words kind of died for a second there, and I could tell that he was somewhat very, very, very amused and somewhat felt very guilty that he just started something so goddamn silly like telling people to pick his clothes for him in the first place.
Because the thing about the DraKyu is that, he’s a great guy and all that - but he’s pretty got a sadistically sarcastic sense of humour at times. He probably learnt and absorbed Kim Heechulism in another method.
Believe me, I know. My Hell had a king and his name was synonymous to Cho KyuHyun before.
Oh, and the other thing is KyuHyun didn’t feel like asking for my help now that he was standing between two silently glowering figures, feeling the chill of the room dropping to a degree lower as the ice began to thicken…
“I’ve decided,” he suddenly spoke up, his voice causing hairline cracks to appear in the intensely solidifying atmosphere. We needed that to happen, like, ASAP.
The scanning of his black, black, black eyes stopped at a shirt. “I’m wearing that one.”
And the background music to the scene goes: Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn!!!!
“You’re going to wear that?” Zhou Mi looked like he was just slapped across the face.
Ryeowook gave the striped shirt a disapproving stare. “But you wore that, like, two days ago!”
"So? I wore the same thing for a good few weeks when we first started promoting ‘U’.”
“But everyone’s getting a new wardrobe for the interview today.”
“I’m fine with this one really. They washed it, okay!”
“So you don’t like what I chose for you. Whatever,” Zhou Mi rolled his eyes, tossing the maroon cloth he had been wringing in his hands into the empty chair next to mine.
Meee-ow!
Then without another word, he walked straight out of the dressing room - if you can call stomping your feet 6 feet into the ground at every goddamn step walking.
I was about to get up when a beige cardigan came hurling into my face, and if I had been a little more melodramatic the damn thing would have sent me toppling over my seat.
“You look funny in stripes, Kyumong.”
And with that, Ryeowook stalked out - leaving me in awe at how hard his jaw was clenched right then when he moved past me to head for the other EXIT door in this room.
Meeeeeee-ow!
The mild, rolling thunder remained on the ceiling above us…
Wow.
Okay.
I tried to not look at KyuHyun with any kind of expression to say that I was on someone’s side right then - but who was I kidding, man? I didn’t even need to say a damn word!
The DraKyuHyun, I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan he is able to read minds (and snap necks, and boils eggs…etc. Just use your imagination) just by a single, charismatic throw of his death glare.
Believe me, I freakin’ know.
So he bloody well knew that Zhou Mi and Ryeowook, they weren’t really angry at him.
Yes. If you’re anywhere near my frequency of thinking, you’d get my drift here.
KyuHyun plucked the shirt he chose off the hangar as he huffed irritably under his breath.
“Bah…GIRLS!”
I burst into a string of amused chuckles at that, not that I meant to be such a retard or anything - but calling Zhou Mi and Ryeowook 'girls' was somewhat a funny-but-Hella-true thing, no?
The KRY makes me kry and the KRZ is krazy.
*YEH SUNG CONDITION*
Anyway!
You can just see that the drama ratings are going to hit the goddamn roof, man.
Dun. Dun. DUUUUUUUUUNNN…
Oh well.
I got up to return the abandoned clothes back into wardrobe at the other end of the room when Choi Gabriel Shiwon suddenly barged into the dressing room with his eyebrows knitted together to the middle of his forehead.
He doesn’t look like a Gabriel when he’s angry, by the way.
“Henli ah, do you have cash with you right now?”
“Uh…Thai currency?”
“No, Korean. Of course Thai! Do you have it or not?”
“Yes, hyung. Why?”
“Good! Here’s what I want you to do,” he said, the mighty click of his tongue unpleasant.
“When we drove up here, did you see the push cart stall right outside the other entry to the basement parking lot of this building?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think it’s still there?”
Heh?
“Uh…I think so.”
“Well, it is.”
What the hell, this guy?
“Uh…okay. So…?”
Shiwon’s eyes narrowed at my question, as if I just gave him the Yeh Sung condition.
“We only have five minutes before we gather, so you’re going to bring your wallet, and run to that stall right now, Henli ah. Run as fast as you can. You’re a fast runner, right?”
“Now? But it’s at the other end of this huge place! So far! What do you want me to buy anyway?”
“What do you think?” Bionic man snorted.
“Funny story, Henli ah. I just bought lychees for everyone -again - to eat at the hotel later…and suddenly, POOF!”
Oh.
AIYAAAA!!!
“So I wonder…who oh who in Super Junior M ate them all, hmmmmmmmmmmmm?”
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-credits to :
sassydork - I D K. You're just very helpful, that's all LOL!
sugarwarrior - for the crash course mando, and the Two Tigers re-write!
kyodomo - for THIS, OH MY GODS!!!!!!
AND saranglove lol for all random pokings and...well...surviving through my WTFH spazzings lol...*HUGS OF DOOMZ*
LOL! Thanks for all the fish, guys.
Hello!
- suffered from gojira-huge writer's block. Very sorry!
- Again, I can't think of any smashing subject so..POOF!!!!
- This chapter is somewhat 'dedicated' to the whole Henry and lychee obsession in one of the Thailand interviews. Don't ask, really.
- no pic spams. Will try to do when there's freakin' time lol.
- CONGRATULATIONS TO SUJU FOR WINNING THE BEST KOREAN ARTIST AWARD!!! If Soshi had won I'd stab people chopsticks. Sorry, May! teehee
- and I hope this is okay?
*Leeteuk laugh*