Entry #32 : Zoo-logy

Jun 22, 2008 17:41

Chapters : #32
Featuring : SJM, Seunghwan-sshi.

Beta-ed/QC-ed : virginangelic



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You know the number one rule when you go visit cages and cages of creatures in the zoo.

‘Please do not feed animals’.

And I seriously think Super Junior M needs to have that sign too.

“WE HAVE CAKE!”

According to the extreme handsome, cool hotshot of the universe Choi Gabriel Shiwon (told you it’s stuck), when you’re an idol, the weighing machine will always, always be your best friend.

So…Don’t worry, eat happy!

“YAY! CAKE!!!!!!”

And trust me, I think everyone in this group totally believes, worships and practices that ideology after a while - mainly because resistance to confectionary of all sorts is ultimately futile.

Diet-conscious you will ask: Will eating cakes give you crazy Bionic man arms like his?

No, it won’t.

Will eating cake give you crazy Bionic man’s blessed height, shoulder width, dents in your abs?

No, it won’t!

But it sure as Hell makes us dangerously gay and happy.

And you know what they say… if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Clap! Clap!

And if you don’t freakin’ care what your managers were sighing and shaking their heads at?

Clap! Clap!

The merry, twittering sea lions Super Junior M have turned into when it comes to free, delicious as Hell cakes - and what are the odds that my name is so perfect for one?

Onk! Onk! Clap! Clap!

Henry the sea lion-imnida!

*Leeteuk laugh*

Anyway.

Before the gojira huge of a cake came into the entire scene, a complete, 7-member Super Junior M turned up a little too early on the set of a TV show for a recording (I can’t remember which. I’m a Dory, sorry) with me still trying to look like I was not miserable in my outfit.

In the compact space of the dressing room backstage, I was still twinkle, twinkle Henry Lau in this ‘solar power shirt’ (KyuHyun had all the right words to say, no?), but I guess I was pretty darn contented that I could at least get back at Kim Ryeowook for those huge ass stripes on his vest.

“Ryeowook hyung!” I sang out, walking up to him after the hairstylist was done with my hair.

“You look like an umpire.”

Well, I was actually going to say zebra but that’d probably go a little too far…

“Yah,” Ryeowook tossed the amazing hair off his face, before snorting at me with a quick roll of his eyes.

Then he bit me back with, “At least I don’t look like a Christmas ornament!”

Say it Henry…just say it!

Ryeowook-hyung, you look like a zebra!

I grabbed the Evian and started twisting the cap open. “Umpire!”

“Ornament!”

“Zebra!”

Ryeowook’s debuting smile instantly died at that.

“Zebra?” The sharp of his cheekbones clenched to a steeling expression, not humoured at all.

AIYA!

“Uh…”

Maybe I really shouldn’t have said that.

I only realized that it actually sounded pretty goddamn rude after I blasted it out in such a manner. I mean even when I’m really bloody close to him and all that but I really did sound like some ungrateful and spoilt brat of some and he’s pretty much superbly sensitive about the items he wears-

Then he kind of killed my guilty conscience by huffing, “Disco ball!”

Oh, hey. Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad for calling him a freakin’ zebra after all!

I scowled at the burst of his giggles as he pointed at my chest, before replying, “Referee!”

“Night light!”

“Road lines!”

“Keychain!”

Key chain, what the hell?

Hey, hey, hey quick! What other things have stripes and that are not too pleasant to mention?

Aiya!

“I win!” Ryeowook declared, reaching out and pinching my cheek - completing that with a little victory dance.

“But hyung!” I was determined to be a freakin’ sore loser, of course. “Keychain?”

“You’re beginning to look like one, especially when I look at you from this angle here…”

“But that doesn’t make sense! How can I look like a keychain? If you’d said I look like a light stick-“

“Ah, that’s it! LIGHT STICK!”

Aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

“I still win, yes?”

Me and my big mouth, Christ.

Fine, I’ll let that slide for the time being - so now let’s just eliminate all that and fast forward to post-recording, where the original sin of the universe was sitting in the middle of the table of the conference room we were all filing into.

Earlier on stage, we were given these bags of colourful icing and were told to sign on the frosting and stuff, but I think we got a little too excited that we ended up hideously vandalizing it instead.

Oh well. An ugly cake was still a cake - and did I mention we were that hungry anyway?

But we couldn’t eat the cake.

Why?

Because one of our managers, Seunghwan-sshi, said so.

And that just ain’t going to fly with someone like Lee Donghae.

He was literally draping himself around our manager with the big, big, big pupils of his eyes fixed strongly on the temptation that was just calling, calling, calling our grumbling tummies to gobble it.

And for the umpteenth time, as the group’s representative, he went, “Can we eat it now? Can we?”

“No. Not yet. Your dinner is coming in a few minutes! Be patient! You can eat it when we get back home.”

Now imagine Donghae stomping his foot unhappily with random chopsticks sticking from the top of his ears.

Again, where the hell did he get those?!

Yes, I believe this was the second follow-up to the feather duster mystery last week in Korea.

“But…We are going to eat it anyway! What difference does it make if we eat this now and dinner later?”

The rest of us hopeful tree frogs nodded agreeably to that claim.

“Yah,” Seunghwan-sshi went, turning around to face the rest of us with his arms folded across his chest.

“Proper dinner is on the way. Everyone, I just need you to please be patient!”

“We’re starving!” Shiwon complained, almost in a whine. But he’s still so Korea’s perfect guy cool about it.

“Just one slice.”

Our handsome manager Seunghwan-sshi, he’s pretty much one of the nicest guys on the face of the planet.

But I guess he was just being the highly responsible and very resilient zookeeper right then.

“No!”

“Okay…” Han Kyung chimed in; taking time off translating things to Zhou Mi who probably knew what was going down on a general basis when he realized that our manager was literally guarding the cake.

“How about HALF of a slice?”

“No. Can’t you people wait? Five more minutes, that’s all!”

“The last time you said five minutes,” KyuHyun snorted. “We finished an entire set before we ate!”

“I promise it will come within five minutes,” Seunghwan-sshi sighed, shaking his head again.

Donghae frowned. “What if we die within that time frame?”

“That’s impossible.”

Boy, I really felt like saying: Before I was an idol, I was a pig.

I'm still a pig though. FOOD > Everything else, no?

“Yes, but what if?” Ryeowook butted in, despite being behaving like a goddamn business analyst with the whole sit, stare, nod and ‘hmmm’ attitude since the start of the day.

And when someone like Ryeowook starts thinking of the nonsensical, you’re going to have this kind of stabbing fear that anything allegedly nonsensical will actually come true!

Aiya!

“No one’s dying in this group until I say so,” Seunghwan-sshi said, sarcasm debuting with a roll of his eyes.

“And that goes for everything else. So no one even touches this cake, until I say so. Understand?”

Everything will not happen until he says so, really.

“No!” Shiwon pulled Korea’s perfect guy pout. “There’s a saying: A hungry man is an angry man, hyung!”

Seunghwan-sshi laughed a little at that, before reaching for the lid of the round box the cake was in and closed it, resulting disappointed moans to come from everyone.

Then he flashed us a grin before saying, “Well, you can stay angry for five minutes then, until dinner arrives.”

So Korea’s version of Simon says is Seunghwan says.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The mistreated zoo animals we were - but no one could argue with a zookeeper like our Seunghwan-sshi!

And guess what?

Zookeeper wasn’t done with just making us starve - so he decided to take this moment to give us a little lecture.

“Your guys’ eating habits…” he began, looking at every one of our unhappy faces with a thoughtful look.

“…I’ve decided to say something about it. Your eating habits are absolutely horrible!”

“Horrible?” Our leader Han Kyung was the first to react to that. “How is that?”

“Whenever I turn around, there’s always something in your mouths,” he theorized, his chin high.

“There’s never a time where I can talk to you guys without seeing anyone chewing on something! Especially you, Henry. Always eating!”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

So I like to eat...Tough!

“Well…We’re not chewing anything now,” KyuHyun muttered, before getting a jab from Shiwon for that.

“Anyway,” Seunghwan-sshi continued. “I was thinking…Maybe I should put you guys on a diet of some kind.”

Imagine the entire universe snapping their heads to us screaming in our horror, blurting out, “DIET?!”

Oh, the horror...the HORROR!

“Do we look like we need to diet in the first place, hyung?” Donghae sounded terrified.

“I don’t think so!”

Yeah, Seunghwan-sshi! Think of the logical here: How can pigs go on a diet?

Ask our other manager JongJun-sshi and TELL ME HOW!!!!

Again, the rest of us tree frogs decided to gang up on Seunghwan-sshi by agreeing with Donghae.

“Yah, it’s not going to be that hard!” Seunghwan-sshi answered to our frowns. “I won’t take everything away.”

“So you’ll take away a few things!”

“Just all the junk food that you have in the dorms, that’s it. And that means you, Ryeowook-sshi, are not to go out of the house after twelve in the morning just to get food from the nearby store you always go to.”

Ryeowook could have fainted at that new rule. “WHAT!”

“But that’s the same as taking everything!” Han Kyung yelped, the drop of his jaws going past his boots.

“Hyung! NO! And how come JongJun-sshi never said anything about this?”

“Because he’s not really in charge of ordering your food - I’m usually the one who does that.”

“NO!”

“Come on, let’s be reasonable for this. Every two whole weeks -in an entire MONTH, okay - of proper meals with no snacking in between,” Seunghwan-sshi laid out a comeback, cool and coy like he is.

“And I’ll make sure all your food comes on time and according to your daily intake and needs for this. Agree?”

“NO!”

“Don’t be stubborn and listen to me for your own good,” he admonished gently, folding his arms again.

“All of you need to stick to your diet sequence from now on or you’ll fall seriously ill. We’re going to start promoting you guys again, resuming activities with shows which means irregular hours so we can’t afford such setbacks!”

“NO!”

“Good!”

“WAIT! BUT…BUT WE DIDN’T AGREE!”

“I know. But what choice do you have? Do you want to fall sick and fall back from activities?”

“NO!”

“Then listen to me. Two weeks per month-”

“NO! NO! NO! DON’T WANT!”

Super Junior M - very hungry, very angry bunch of anti-diet pigs/tree frogs, I swear.

“Hyung!”

KyuHyun suddenly spoke up, raising his voice from all the erupted squabbling everyone was launching at our manager in their dissatisfaction of how things just went down.

His frown was as deep as the Grand Canyon I swear it was I wasn’t seeing things right then.

Then, with dangerously narrowed eyes, he asked, “What do you call this diet scheme of yours?”

WTFH…I know, right!

YAH! KYUYHUN AH!

What kind of a question is that, dawg!?

“S-I-I-D-P,” Seunghwan-sshi grinned, and I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan that he thought about that in a snap, Christ.

“And what does that stand for?”

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TRY AND BE FUNNY, KYUHYUN AH!

“Pretty straight-forward: Seunghwan’s Ideal Idol Dieting Programme!”

AIYA!

“Sounds really good, hyung ah,” KyuHyun nodded, totally ignoring the accusing ‘YOU TRAITOR!’ glares we were shooting at him right then.

“When are we starting on it?”

TRAITOR!

Seunghwan-sshi looked a little surprised that KyuHyun, of all people, was actually going over to his side.

Our manager then stated, “You all are starting the SIIDP from tomorrow onwards.”

“Ah, good, good!” Kyuhyun nodded again, before suddenly reaching out and taking the lid of the cake box.

“Yah!” Our manager gave him a weird, disbelieving look. “What do you think you are you doing?”

“We’re all going to eat the cake before dinner arrives!”

Eh?

Not a traitor?

“KyuHyunnie ah, I just said you can’t eat it until I say so!”

“No you didn’t,” KyuHyun replied, in a mild, respectful drawl of his way of speaking to a superior.

“…You just said say we’re starting on the diet tomorrow hyung, so that means we can eat this today!”

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Cho KyuHyun should seriously consider working part-time for the Korean FBI or something.

Part-time idol, part-time covert agent disarming nuclear wars and dissecting crash landed aliens, that kind.

I mean, he’s so damn good in being such a friendly psychological terrorist, trust me I swear I freakin’ know.

Thanks to him, Super Junior M got to eat dinner and cake in whichever sequence we wanted to!

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

CLAP! CLAP!

And to think you’d never hear me saying all this before. I guess he can actually be not so goddamn creepy depending on the gravity of situations?

Oh well.

CLAP! CLAP!

Our schedule wasn’t exactly over so we ended up still loitering around the set area after the heavy food intake - with KyuHyun still picking on the little girls’ ponytails and the ShiHan running after him to stop bullying them before they cry.

Random but compared to (Please insert any noun here) terrorist KyuHyun, I’m probably more of an errorist.

*Leeteuk laugh*

“Hyung, there’s still cream in your hair.”

Ryeowook looked up when I came into the make up room to sit down next to him on the sofa.

“Hold on, I’ll get it for you.”

He stayed still when I dabbed the tissue on the fringe above his eye to get rid of the excess vanilla frosting we were goofing around with earlier.

“Thank you,” he said, smiling briefly before going back to his Vodafone’s screen. “Henli ah?”

“Yup?”

“Is your real name Lau Xian Hua or Liu Xian Hua?”

“Liu Xian Hua.”

“So why did you say Lau Xian Hua earlier when Zhou Mi told you to?”

“Dialect, hyung. I can’t even pronounce my own name with it!”

“Ah, I see.”

“I’m just fine with Henry, really.”

“Good. Oh, I wanted to show you something a few days ago. Look at these messages, Henli ah!”

I took the phone to read the text messages from my celebrated dork god Kim Yeh Sung and burst chuckling.

“But…Today is…Wait. Isn’t your birthday in two days, hyung?”

“It is. And that’s not just it. Scroll down again.”

“’And yes, I know I’m a few days early but I’m counting down to it’!” I laughed. “Yeh Sung hyung is so funny!”

“Oh, it’s already a second nature for him to do something like this really,” Ryeowook stated, taking back his cell phone and reading the text message again as if he was reading it for the first time.

I was amused. “You mean he does it every year?”

“Yes!” he answered in this cheerful as Hell quip, nodding as he burst into a string of tickled giggles.

“That’s him. He will send me two advanced wishes -and an actual one on the actual day! The silly man!”

“Wow. How is that silly, hyung ah? That’s really sweet of him to do that!”

“Yeh Sung? I think I’m the only one who can actually really understands how his mind works, Henli ah!”

“Maybe you are!” I teased, ribbing him happily at the side. “Since you two are like…M-F-E-O!”

“What is this…M-F-E-O?”

“In English it’s made for each other,” I explained, grinning wide. “You know, like destiny!”

“Destiny!” Ryeowook was still giggling madly; I really couldn’t tell just what he was trying to tell me.

“Don’t you think so?” I probed, turning to face him in my sudden excitement. “You and Yeh Sung hyung?”

The retarded happy and overly excited cupid-in-training that I suddenly wanted to become for my love fighter sensei right then - mainly because I was paid a handsome fee by the dork god to do so.

Kidding!

I don’t think Yeh Sung would pay me even if I paid him to pay me.

*Leeteuk laugh*

But hey, come on. I’m still determined to make at least something happy to happen for my Ryeowoo-kiyeowor umma here, and I need support!

So if you’re goddamn excited and you’re on my side…you clap your hands!

Clap! Clap!

But not Ryeowook - he wasn’t really feelin’ my awesome strings right then.

“I know what you’re trying to do here,” Ryeowook said softly, slipping his hand into mine to hold it tight.

“But no, Henli ah.”

Oh…BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

“No?” Boy, he killed me, Christ. “Not ‘no’! You mean not yet. Right?”

“No. I mean no.”

Oi, you there! Don’t stop clapping!

CLAP! CLAP!

“Hyung!” I think my voice just hiked into a high-pitched squeak again or something. “Why not?”

“Henli, is there any reason at all why I should?”

“M-F-E-O is a good reason!” I argued, disappointed that I was doing a really lousy job as cupid right then.

“And there’s no one else like Yeh Sung hyung. He’s very, very, very rare. VERY!”

I would have added ‘species’ but I might burst a vein somewhere from laughing at my own words.

“Oh, I know that,” Ryeowook snorted, only finding it funnier than ever that I chose to say it like that.

“But it’s really different with him. So much difference -and you know how I feel about KyuHyun.”

CLAP! CLAP!

“I know,” I frowned, before turning to whisper into his ear. “But it’s unfair! You know he won’t love you-”

“Yah!” Ryeowook interrupted me with a sharp snap, taking his hand off mine to slap me on the thigh.

Hard.

“Why are you suddenly so bothered about this? What have you been thinking, huh? Did you eat too much cake?”

“Actually, I did. The cake had too much butter, hyung ah! I feel like throwing up right now.”

“Is your stomach behaving funny? I’ve this ointment somewhere…”

My darling Ryeowoo-kiyeowor umma - always at the ready for me!

“No, I’m alright. I just want to wash my intestines with acid right now! The aftertaste is horrible. Blurgh!”

And Ryeowook laughed, before taking another squeeze at my cheek.

Playful, but nonetheless painful - and probably on purpose too.

Maybe I turned him slightly abusive since I was being goddamn annoying and nosey and all.

One day, I’m going to lose this baby fat on my face - and the world will freakin' cry or something.

*Evil Kangin giggle*

“Hyung,” I prompted again, taking his hand into mine again and nodding at him. “Talk to me, please!”

“About?”

“Whatever that made you drink six bottles of soju the other time?”

“Aish!”

“I always talk to you about things - the good, the bad, the shocking. I want to do the same for you!”

Ryeowook gave me a good, hard look for a good, long second - probably looking for my real age or something through the windows of my rounded, oh-so-innocent eyes.

“Henli ah…If Yeh Sung hyung is setting you up to dig things out of me-”

“No he didn’t!” I said quickly, shaking my head. “I’m the one who wants to know, I swear.”

He looked over my shoulder, and everywhere around us - probably to make sure that no one sneaky and supposedly-on- a-sugar-rush like Donghae was hiding behind any curtains listening in or something.

Then he pulled me into a hug, the slip of his arm across my back settling comfortably on my shoulders.

And he whispered into my ear, “I’m actually depressed, Henli ah. To tell you the truth, okay?”

Sent a shock straight into my soul, he jolly well did. “Why are you depressed?”

“Zhou Mi.”

Huh?

Our resident sunshine Zhou Mi was depressing Ryeowook?

I pulled back, my jaws dropping all the way down to my goddamn Adidas - and probably way past it, even.

Ryeowook didn’t look like he was clowning around at all - and it was freakin’ mind-blowing all of a sudden.

Just HOW exactly is Zhou Mi depressing him now?

“Hey, you two!”

We snapped our heads out of the briefly frozen moment to see Donghae bouncing up to us, the overly-excited gestures of his hands seemingly telling us to move aside.

“Excuse me!”

He suddenly spoke in English, slowing down a little before coming to a complete stop before us.

Then, looking seriously at the both of us, he said, “May I pass away?”

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Choi Gabriel Shiwon’s English is so much better than everyone else in SujuMan.

Back in the good ol’ days when my grand arrival to Korea gave me too much of both language and cultural shock, he was the first Super Junior member who came to me with a helping right hand readily outstretched - and with an English for idiots book in the other.

Such a confident and brave man, indeed!

Kim Kibum too, of course being so helpful with my initial adaptation to a coast so alien - but my first impression on him wasn’t exactly as outstanding as the blinding white of his perfected teeth.

Nope, I can’t blame him for being a naturally laid-back, point-and-poke-and-smile kind of guy, can I?

But Lee Donghae?

Maybe he was on crack that day.

“Excuse me, brothers…but may I pass away?”

It was the second time he said it, and I was sure that it wasn’t his funny accent that messed that line up.

“Pass away?” I sputtered, cracking up a little but stopping when I realized he wasn’t amused.

“You want to pass away?”

Donghae looked confused, but totally unafraid to continue becoming the random English ninja he was.

“Yes, please! I want to pass away!”

“Hyung,” I raised an eyebrow at his seriousness in answering my question. “Why?”

And he said, “Why? Simply BECAUSE!”

Hey…that sounds very familiar…

“Henli! Obey me!”

Okay he lost me. “What?”

Ryeowook was telling him to speak in Korean when Shiwon suddenly popped up going, “No, no!”

“What? What?” Donghae went, his big, big, big eyes growing bigger. “What I say wrong?”

“It’s ‘May I pass?’…there is no ‘away’ after that, Donghae hyungie ah…” Shiwon said, with that considerate laughter debuting from the shaking of his (perfectly measured) shoulders.

Like father, like son = Like Choi, like Zhou.

Both are so Peking opera nice when they need to be, I swear.

“So what did it mean just now? What did I say?”

“You were asking permission,” I replied, when the graceful wave of Shiwon’s hand told me to answer him.

“Permission?”

“You were asking permission to die, hyung.”

“Eh?!”

“Pass away is to die!” I said, laughing at the surprise on his face. “So you were asking…may I die?”

Donghae frowned when he turned to the taller one behind him. “But…Shiwonnie taught me that just now!”

“No I didn’t,” Shiwon gasped, jerking his head back as though he had just been slapped.

“You weren’t paying attention to me!”

“Why are you learning English?” I asked, curious. “Shouldn’t you be learning Mandarin instead?”

“I was teaching him some Mandarin but he suddenly started asking me for versions in English,” Shiwon told, ignoring the fact that Donghae was elbowing him madly, probably to start a tickle fight of some sort.

I know, right. I think it’s becoming his hobby or something too, ever since we launched the pioneer tickle attack on Zhou Mi few days back - just to get the damn sunshine to shine again (which worked).

Aiya!

Remember the scary, long-running, so-called urban legend of ‘if Donghae pokes you, you must entertain him at all costs…or it will never, ever end’?

Everyone!

The second rule in Super Junior M’s zoo is - Please approach a Donghae with extreme caution!

Do not feed sugar.

*Leeteuk laugh*

Then he went, "Do you know that Eunhyukkie is near us right now?"

"Really? Where?"

He pointed to his prized monkey stuffed toy perched on top of the table near where we were standing.

"ANNYONG, EUNHYUK AH!"

Yup. Most definitely on crack - and probably homesick as Hell too.

Anyway.

I was going to go back to interrogating Ryeowook when Seunghwan-sshi called him over - and Ryeowook went after I made him promise to tell me everything later when we get back home and settle in for the day.

Meanwhile, Zhou Mi was depressing Ryeowook.

I thought our cool and charismatic leader Han Kyung said it -whatever it was- was all settled?

Hmmm.

Time for secret agent Paiyoulin Chinggu to make his official, shiny debut into this matter!

Hmmmm…

Hey, I think I must have really missed out something on the jam-packed schedule (I, Dory) because it seemed to be language night for everyone all of a sudden at home.

I walked into my room with the gojira huge doggie plush toy present (every one in the group received one each from the same show where we vandalized the gojira huge cake) in my arms…

…Only to see Zhou Mi and KyuHyun in bed together.

And boy, they were really going at it too.

“Mimi…”

KyuHyun, he was leaning against the board with the plush of the pillows supporting his back, one hand clutching the front of his shirt as if it was going to be fly off him anytime soon.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

He threw his head back to a deep groan escaping from his throat when Zhou Mi got up to shift his position, probably to find a more comfortable angle from where he was originally at.

Me?

Of course I stopped and stared at them!

And trust me, I can bet you shi-freakin’-yuan that you would totally do the exact same thing too.

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Man, this is hella amusing.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-”

Pause.

And KyuHyun produced a bunch of paper from nowhere and brought it up to his face.

“Oh! Okay. Sorry. Let’s start again from the top Mimi ah,” he went after reading some lines.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…baegopayo!”

Welcome to Korean class with the Mimi and his DraKyuHyun-sshi, by the way.

“Mimi-sshi neunyo?”

I’m such an evil tease lately, I know.

If your mind is dirty and you know it, clap your hands!

CLAP! CLAP!

*Gojira Leeteuk laugh*

“Jeo-neun baebulleoyo! Kui Xian-sshi manhi baegopayo?” (I’m already full. You’re very hungry, KyuHyun?)

“Ne…manhi baegopayo…Mimi-sshi-neun manhi baebulleoyo?” (Yes! Very hungry! You’re very full, Mimi?)

“Ne! Manhi baebulleoyo…” (Yes, I’m very full!)

“Ah! BAEGOPA!” (Ah! I’M HUNGRY!)

Zhou Mi paused to think for the next thing to say, but failed to ninja anymore Korean in the end.

So he fell back to Mandarin. “Uh…Zhen me ban?” (What are you going to do?)

“Ah! Wo zhi dao Mimi ah!” (I know!)

And KyuHyun’s smile widened to a bright idea suddenly popping in his mind.

Then he raised his hand, and shouted, “FUWUYUER!!” (Oh, you know)

I know, right?

I’d like to take a moment and really ponder if my terrifying DraKyuHyun-sshi is existent anymore, too.

Do you think it’s officially safe to say that Cho KyuHyun has really, truly moved on?

Wait.

Why am I still thinking that he hasn’t anyway?

*Leeteuk laugh*

Glancing at the time on the wall, I decided to not bother their lesson and dumped everything I was carrying in my side of the room and went to take a quick shower before I go over and meet Ryeowook at the corridor later.

Of all people on this freakin’ planet, Care Bear Zhou Mi was depressing my love fighter sensei.

I had about a quantumbagajillion things flooding into my head that I almost drowned standing in the shower.

And this is random but I am not lazy to shower, okay. Ignore what the rest says about it.

Anyway, I still came out clueless as Hell!

“Hennie?”

Amazingly, Zhou Mi actually knocked on my room door before entering this time around.

“Yup!” I stifled a small yawn as I towelled my crazy hair dry. “Eh? Your lesson’s over?”

“Kui Xian got a call from home,” he went, crossing his legs as he sat at the edge of my war-torn bed (can’t be bothered to tidy up because I’m lazy as Hell nowadays), hugging his turtle plushie tightly.

I think it’s called kuma-kuma?

Jesus, I fail with plush toy characters. Sungmin has a bloody database for it, though.

“Hey,” I realized something about the toy. “Isn’t that KyuHyun hyung’s? You got…Hello Kitty right?”

“We traded. He wants the Hello Kitty, and I actually want this one. So we swapped.”

Imagine the friendly psychological terrorist with a Hello Kitty and I swear it looks rather disturbing.

Cute, but still disturbing as Hell.

“Why so solemn?” I then gave him a funny look. “You were laughing like a crazy person just now!”

“Wei,” Zhou Mi’s smile was small. “I just remembered that I didn’t apologize to you for the other time.”

“Eh?” I blinked at him, the ungodly tentacles of my follicles curtaining the whole of my face.

At the same time, I was still finding something that was upsetting Ryeowook greatly from this guy.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you and you know, say all those nasty things. And you’re not really annoying.”

“Har…” I frowned at the way he was putting it. “So I’m actually annoying but not really annoying!”

“Something like that?” He laughed. “Okay, no. I really want to apologize for being a jerk, Hennie ah.”

“You swore at me, Zhou. And you called me stupid! I wanted to poke your eyes for that.”

His eyebrows came together to a guilty knot. “Uhm…do you still feel like doing that now?”

“Yes. I finally have something to do with my thoughtful Kangin chopsticks now!”

“You brought that over here?”

“Yup!” I nodded, pointing to my backpack. “It’s in there. Now can I poke your eyes for swearing at me?”

“I said I’m sorry! What more do you want me to do! Smile? Okay, I’m smiling. You can’t tickle me!”

“Relax!” I snorted at the faked Joker smile of his, rolling my eyes at his deadpanning humour.

“Anyway, I actually forgot about it until you mentioned it now.”

“So we’re okay now. I’m going to say sorry anyway. I just felt really bad, that’s all.”

“Oh and it took you a whole week to realize just how bad you felt, too by the way.”

“Aiya! Don’t make me feel any worse, will you?”

“Oh no! I’m supposed to be ‘not really annoying’ anyway, aren’t I?”

“Wei!”

“Joke, joke. So how’s your lesson with KyuHyun? You guys seem to hang out with each other a lot!”

“He’s a good teacher! And I’ve always been stuck with him since the start of things anyway. His Mandarin is not bad at all, really. He just has little confidence in speaking it in public, do you know that?”

Potential nuclear war disarmer Cho KyuHyun has little confidence?

I could only snort at that.

“Really? I don’t really know since I usually talk to him in Korean. So how was your first time meeting him?”

Zhou Mi gave me a kind of look that was a slightly milder version of ‘WTFH?’ but of course he was going to entertain me anyway - because he’s naturally a fun, Peking opera nice guy like that.

“I thought he was a complete stuck up! Like the typical rich boy with money sticking out his pockets everywhere. After we talked for little bit, I think he’s kind of cool and unique,” he answered, tickling me with that analogy.

“But he’s still a bit of a mystery to me. He’s got a pretty unpredictable pattern of behaviour, doesn’t he?”

“I see.” Now that totally rings the freakin’ bells in my head. “You guys are getting closer anyway, right?”

“I guess. We traded stuffed toys,” Zhou Mi mused, picking up the kuma-kuma and dangling it.

“That’s got to count for something - though I still feel a little bit funny that we just did that.”

“Hah!” I smirked, running a comb through my hair. “You let him call you Mimi and you feel funny about that?”

“I let everyone call me Mimi, Hennie.”

“You won’t let me call you that.”

“Because you’re blood type AB and AB people are too weird.”

“You just apologized to me and yet you’re discriminating me now?”

“Oh, Hennie ah, you’ll always know that I still love you even when you’re not that annoying, right?”

I turned around and made a face. I’m really, really good at making faces besides popping you see.

Then I went,” Mimiiiiiiiiiiii! Mimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! MIMI!”

“Don’t-“

”Mimi! Mimi! Mimi mimi bobimi banana fana fofimi fifa momimi! MIMI!”

Childish, playful, technical virgin me - but what the Hell anyway!

He ended up laughing his head off at that random singing of mine before asking, “You’re going out again?”

“Yup. I’ve got a date with Ryeowook hyung at the corridor.”

“Wow. Romantic! Hey…Cheng Min doesn’t seem to mind that Li Xu’s all over you all the time!”

“Ryeowook’s like my mom, Zhou. Anyone can see that, really.”

“Okay. Enjoy your date then,” he said, shrugging as he got up from my bed and started out of my room.

“And don’t go sneaking out to the convenience store or our manager will flip. Okay!”

“Yes, Mimi!”

Then he suddenly stopped at the door to turn around to me again - and I was kind of expecting a giant kuma-kuma to come flying straight into me for what I just called him with.

“Wei,” Zhou Mi went, biting the inside of his cheek for a second.

“What does nomu kiyeowor means?”

“Nomu kiyeowor?” I repeated as I switched off the study lamp. “It means ‘very cute’ in Korean.”

“Oooh! So that’s what it is...”

That was really random. “Why?”

Boy, I think this is the first time ever that I’ve seen such a silly as Hell smile stretching on Zhou Mi’s face.

Then he said, “Oh...nothing!”

I’m not kidding here. I swear Zhou Mi just freakin’ giggled too.

❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ -------------------------------------- ❤ ❤

Somehow I never got around to hanging out with my bullet proof monk in the end.

This was because KyuHyun’s grandmother passed away (no Donghae’s queer English joke here) that same night, and Ryeowook had accompanied him to the airport to send him off to Korea.

The rest of us, we couldn’t leave our schedule so we could only offer our condolences and prayers here.

Just like the time when Han Kyung and Shiwon weren’t around, the group felt incomplete once again.

And it was just even worse when both usually cheerful members Ryeowook and Zhou Mi woke up the next day as semi-sulking mutes of this universe or something.

Boy, what are the odds that outside, it was raining like Hell?

Aiya!

The mood was so freakin’ damp during our short briefing that I actually thought I was going to cry anytime.

Mommy, I think the disco ball is leaking!

Okay sorry that was just too random but I needed my Captain Kingston to cheer me up a little bit before we go on the CCTV interview later in the afternoon - without KyuHyun.

Ryeowook and Zhou Mi, they didn’t talk or participate much during the interview itself.

I decided to screw my non-existent idol image (I should learn to let it go, I know), be a right dork after my crazy popping solo (How low can I go, baby?) and even ninja-ed a duet with Donghae on some children’s song about blind tigers - but all of that didn’t help much either.

And boy, if Han Kyung had been Kangin, he could have really strangled me for screwing up my Marry U rap on national TV.

Boy, subconsciously, we were all feeling just slightly down as Hell…

…Until Ryeowook’s birthday cake came along!

YAY! CAKE!

Clap! CLAP!

If you must know, it was our second day on the SIIDP - and it had been going so well (Pigs can diet when they have no choice) until our precious fans decided to come to our zoo and feed the animals.

They probably found out that our manager was starving us or something.

ELFs = Energizer-Loaded Friends, remember?

*Leeteuk laugh*

Oh well!

“We should eat it now!” Donghae was whispering urgently into the circle as we crowded excitedly around the tantalizing smell of cocoa, butter, frosting, cream, excessive chocolate flakes and sprinkles.

At the farthest end of this crowded studio, I spied Seunghwan-sshi’s unhappy eyebrows coming together to the middle of his forehead at our sneaky tactic to eat the damn thing on stage.

“Yes!” Han Kyung muttered with a frozen smile, taking the tissues from the host. “He can’t disturb us now!”

Hey, I couldn’t really contest to anything when everyone just started picking on the flakes and the sprinkles - especially not when Ryeowook just started to happily feed me!

CLAP! CLAP!

Han Kyung’s right. Our manager couldn’t just run up to us and go ‘PUT THAT DOWN OR I WILL PINCH YOU!’ in front of everyone, could he?

A Chinese fan came to say a few words to Ryeowook, but I was more hopeful that she had brought a cutter along or something - so we could really gobble everything down and face Seunghwan-sshi’s wrath later.

Because believe me, when you have a full tummy - everything else in this world would be A-OKAY!

Sorry, Seunghwan-sshi but hardcore pigs exist…

…Tough!

And it really looked like we were going to cut and eat it as soon as the cameras turn off because more serviettes were being passed around by the host - and we actually, patiently finished the interview off with a particularly energetic note!

OLYMPICS JIA YOU!

CHINA JIA YOU!

SJM JIA YOU!

And……………………………CAKE JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The interview ended, and the first thing we all did was returning to the cake on the table we placed before us.

Wait a minute.

WHERE IS THE CAKE?!

“YAH!” Donghae squeaked in his nasty shock, grabbing at the serviette nearby with big, big, big bulging eyes.

“It disappeared!!!!!”

We all turned to the host.

“Oh, Li Xu’s birthday cake?”

I swear she was totally not expecting to see six handsome youths to behave like possessed maniacs all of a sudden - our eyes must have really looked psychotic as Hell.

“Well, your manager took it…”

“Which one?” Han Kyung asked, gripping the arm of his chair in his panic.

“That one.”

Over at a corner, with a familiar white box in his hand, our Seunghwan-sshi was laughing.

AIYA!

Where’s Cho KyuHyun when you really need him, man?

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Read the rest here




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At least one OTP is still surviving...LOL





Yes, my cheeks weight 5 kgs each!



I HATE SOCCER!







Henry : Omg I didn't hear what I just heard.
Zhou Mi : I K R!

The KyuMi



Kyu : I thought you cleaned already up after we...
Mimi : There was no time to wash my face. Sorry.

















Lonely Mimi without Kyu





cue theme song : How do I live without Kyuuuuu I want to know...How do I liveeeee without Kyu...if Kyu ever goes...

lol sorry. I love Mimi. But Kyu definitely tops him XD

SJM on CCTV subbed HERE

Mimi is so lonely here!

Shiwon's temper in Chinese phonetics lesson is LOL!

"Zhou Mi...GET OUT!"

AND!!!!!

image Click to view



You know, if I see SJM some day, I'd probably scream 'SEUNGHWAN-SSHI SARANGHAE!!!!!!' first.

I hope Kyu comes back soon. SJM without 7 people is the same as SJ without 13 people on stage.

Credits to :
sassydork - helped me the most with the inspiration and muse! Owe you big time for this chapter, man. Dedicate this to you, okay?
HaeHenWook + KyuMi + SJM thread @ Soompi
qmibao
Henry's baidu

Till next time!
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