thoughts
This is inspired by Jen: I also feel like I'm wasting my time, my life. I know that I must finnish school if I'm to have any hope of being an architect, but as Jen would, I would be happy living anywhere, somewhere that makes me unique. I don't have some birth defect as silly as it sounds, I don't have some physical feature that sets me apart from everyone else, I'm not overly pretty, I'm mediocre. My wise ballet teacher once told me to never settle for being mediocre; well what if that's truly all I am? Do you ever just want to say fuck it all to everyone and pick up and leave? Mirial's Wedding is a silly movie, but has some real substance to it. Sometimes I just want to tell the world and everyone I know and have ever met to screw themselves and run away from it all. Like you Jen, I want to live too. Ever since I've been a little kid, as do many little kids, I've dreamed of wealth and fame. I've made it a goal to become famous in some way, in some venue, to someone somewhere. This summer, I worked so hard at learning a bunch of guitar tab just so I could tease my desire to be in a rock and roll band. I just want to pick up, leave, not tell anyone where I'm going or that I'm going, and start completely over; screw college. I want to meet new people and make new friends, but don't want to put in the effort. I want to be an architect more than anything, but I don't know if that's going to happen and how many architects do you know who's dripping with admirers hanging on their every word, getting their hair cut like them, dressing exacly like they do? I just want to be Julian Casablancas from the Strokes. I don't know, these are just random thoughts that I'm sure everyone has, and all we can do it settle for our painfully mediocre selves and muddle through it all, but for what? I don't know.
Julian
Julian