(Untitled)

Nov 14, 2007 23:54

Time: 11:37 (That's MY time, for Laura Vaughn and others in the know ( Read more... )

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bobo_hewitt November 16 2007, 04:28:24 UTC
Ojala indeed (sorry, my computer seems to hate accents right now). How did the paper turn out? Or did you really just use the poem?

Cool poem! Interesting how babelfish translated corteza as 'crust' once and 'bark' the other time, where I never knew it meant anything other than 'courtesy' (unless I'm mixed up, which is completely possible). Anyway, the Spanish version of the poem at least is really awesome. I love the image of branches hitting the keyboard, and I like the way that the whole thing moves from the more serious first stanza to the joking last section. All in all, fun piece of work.

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henryinchina November 17 2007, 02:29:48 UTC
Thanks! In the half hour before class started, I decided to revise this one instead of writing a paper from scratch. I cleaned it up a little, and added 2 stanzas right after the first about... well here it is:

...

Pero ya pasó el Verano
Vinó el Otoño y la sobreviví,
mi mente lleno de los rayos olvidados del sol.
No lloré cuando cayeron, uno a uno, las ojas de mi corona vibrante,
no intenté salvarme cuando el viento frio me hizo temblar,
nunca acabará de cantar
aún si mi voz me deja por otro
yo Soy un árbol.

Allí me quedé cuando empezó a nievar
y las derivas apilaron hasta mis hombros.
Incapaz
¿o solo reacio?
de desarraigar mis raíces enfermas.
No tenía exito,
pero Sobreviví.

Those are pretty clear connections to stuff that's happened. It felt good to write about it. I think my teacher's gonna like it, but I like it.

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henryinchina November 17 2007, 02:32:12 UTC
oh and check how it translates "Ojalá que fuera un arbol otra vez" as "Hopefully tree outside again." haha. Subjunctivo obviamente no existe.

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bobo_hewitt November 17 2007, 17:33:15 UTC
Claro que no. Si no lo tenemos en Ingles....

I like these new stanzas a lot. They feel meaningful, and they use the tree idea really well (with the fall and winter being associated with what they are). I'll be interested to see what the professor thinks of the part about writing the paper, though. How's her sense of humor?

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henryinchina November 17 2007, 21:25:21 UTC
Thanks! It sort of jumps around on a bunch of different levels, which makes it either really deep or really random. I do have to admit from reading really good poetry in class that, while it seems thrown together at first, serious authors know how to layer their work with implicit meaning. I'm not quite there yet. I think my professor (who is strangely a man) will get it. I reread the last stanza right before I turned it in and added a line, so it ends,
Si seguire luchando contra esta noche para siempre...
!Sobrevivire!

Ojala que fuera arbol otra vez.

I liked the punch that gave it.

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bobo_hewitt November 18 2007, 19:46:28 UTC
I don't know why, but all my Spanish teachers ever have been women. So yours must be too, right? Of course right.

I'm really impressed with the poetry that has so many layers of meaning. I have to admit though, I don't think that I'd be able to keep my mind on enough things at once to write like that.

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