uhm, yeah
So the night after my last post, my mom and I had a huge fight. The jist of which being, I'm selfish. Really we just shouted at each other, and I cried-- then she went to bed and I stayed up talking to John. We talked about a lot of random things, my student loans, my not getting a job, and the fact that I treated Chris better than I've been treating them, mostly still dancing back to the jist being that I'm selfish (but he said it in a way that was far less insulting, and made pieces of sense), and that largely I need to be more of a social and communicative person. I yet again got to deal with feeling like people are telling me "It's who you are as a person that's the problem" (throw back to Res Life first year).
But I dealt Since then I've barely played any video games, and I've done my best to spend as much time as possible out in the living room with my mom and John. A few days after that blow up Chris brought up how it would make more sense to get a job in Victoria right away than a job here in fuck-all-nowhere for a month, and THEN a job in Victoria-- and we looked at my taking the bus out. I waited for John to get home from work, and when we were all in the same room I brought it up. My mom walked away, which really got to me since during our blow up she had chastised me for walking away from a conversation. (Do as I say, not as I do? Raaaaaaaaaaaaawr.)
John said it was because she's having problems with the fact that I'm more officially "moving out", since I'm going to an apartment with my boyfriend rather than on-campus housing with my boyfriend near by, and that I'm not planning on coming back for Christmas (I'm steadfast that I'm going to alternate between families, and I was here last Christmas. I would say they could come out and see Chris's family, my grandparents and I-- but with the dogs and the cows, it becomes a "selfish" thing for me to ask), or for an extended period next summer (frankly because this one sucked-- but I'll come out if Chris can too, he just tends to have more time constraints to try and bypass than I do). John also said that he'd talk to her about it.
The next Monday, John was at work, my mom was going into town and then my grandparents were leaving for the island not too long after. My mom asked me if I was ready suddenly, apparently I was going into town with her. So I put on shoes and went out to the truck, and she asked me where my ID was. I instantly had an inkling of what she was getting at, but I played dumb and asked why I'd need it. She said we were going to wal-mart, and I was getting a job for the next few weeks. I dug my heels in, you can't yell at me for not being communicative-- then make a decision by yourself on a problem I sat down to talk about but you walked away from. She had an appointment, so it was left at that and she had to go.
Since then I hadn't brought it up again until a few days ago-- I was worried about coming off as selfish yet again for poking at a problem John already said he'd deal with. I had also realized that Hannah's birthday was only a few days away, and since she had been upset since the beginning of the summer about being alone for her birthday I thought it would be incredibly balls to be like "SEE YA!" two days before her birthday. But Hannah already had plans (who bailed on her in the end... jerks.) So that point was gone, and Chris wanting me home began to push the issue to me, for me-- I've let my fear of being called selfish push me away from trying to get back to the Island when it makes logical sense to get there as soon as possible now. I relinquished logic I'm so put out by this. But I'm still a chicken, so I started off with asking John when my mom had already gone to bed if he had talked to her about it at all and he said he would again, and then last night I asked again and he said sort of and to give her a few days.
The other day we all went into town, and in the mail came my Student Loan papers and a package pick up notice. The package, was the XBox 360 from signing up for internet with Telus for Chris and I's apartment in Victoria.
~~Back Story Time~~
Back near the end of July, Chris and I were looking into internet providers. Telus won by being the only people to advertise that you can get just internet on it's own without cable or a home phone. Since I had been in a Telus household back on the island, I suggested we see if my we could add on to my mom's Telus account (since she had been a customer for so many years, and was still a customer for home phone), and if that would save us any money. And we did, while we did I mentioned an idea I had had when we thought the XBox would show up at Chris and I's apartment, of leaving our first XBox here since my mom thought Kinect was cool and wanted to try the different fitness games. (However I changed my mind the day I saw 2-3 mice come running out of the entertainment center, the XBox was not only my first big purchase but Chris and I's first purchase together [Call me sentimental, I don't want mice chewing through its cords.] But this is beside the point.) My mom seemed to like the idea, even though she was still getting a bit quieter and moodier every time the apartment was brought up at that time. After talking to Telus, my mom said we could get ____ internet plan for $34/month. I told Chris and he agreed it was awesome, so we signed up. Then my mom said the modem and XBox would be showing up here (in fuck-all-nowhere) in a few weeks.
~~it's been a few weeks~~
When the XBox was brought inside, and I noticed John had opened it I said "You opened it? ... I wanted to open it with Chris." This is when we found out that we had different ideas about where and who with the XBox belonged.
I spluttered and said I didn't know how to explain where who ever's misunderstanding had come from (far less elegantly), and a few failed attempts spurred both me to start crying in discomfort of the situation and my mother to walk out of the room saying something I can't remember specifically but it gave me the sentiment of "Oh well, I know you're the kind of person who would cry about not getting the bigger, better, shinier thing." Which is what really pissed me off, she took my seeming to think the XBox was mine and ran off with it, speaking against my character and holding the title of being my mother over my head as to say that means she's right. I guess I had some good gimme-gimme moments as a kid she hasn't let go of or told me about.
Whew. From under the big barrel of confusing emotional crap-- Chris and I have re-taken up playing RuneScape. It's nerdily delicious and serves as a reminder of why we aren't going to try WoW, since the last time we played RuneScape we would play every day practically. So there's that happy distraction as well as packing, because sensitive to my mom dealing with my "moving out" or not, classes start in 3 weeks. There's a light at the end of this tunnel.
The game.
But I dealt Since then I've barely played any video games, and I've done my best to spend as much time as possible out in the living room with my mom and John. A few days after that blow up Chris brought up how it would make more sense to get a job in Victoria right away than a job here in fuck-all-nowhere for a month, and THEN a job in Victoria-- and we looked at my taking the bus out. I waited for John to get home from work, and when we were all in the same room I brought it up. My mom walked away, which really got to me since during our blow up she had chastised me for walking away from a conversation. (Do as I say, not as I do? Raaaaaaaaaaaaawr.)
John said it was because she's having problems with the fact that I'm more officially "moving out", since I'm going to an apartment with my boyfriend rather than on-campus housing with my boyfriend near by, and that I'm not planning on coming back for Christmas (I'm steadfast that I'm going to alternate between families, and I was here last Christmas. I would say they could come out and see Chris's family, my grandparents and I-- but with the dogs and the cows, it becomes a "selfish" thing for me to ask), or for an extended period next summer (frankly because this one sucked-- but I'll come out if Chris can too, he just tends to have more time constraints to try and bypass than I do). John also said that he'd talk to her about it.
The next Monday, John was at work, my mom was going into town and then my grandparents were leaving for the island not too long after. My mom asked me if I was ready suddenly, apparently I was going into town with her. So I put on shoes and went out to the truck, and she asked me where my ID was. I instantly had an inkling of what she was getting at, but I played dumb and asked why I'd need it. She said we were going to wal-mart, and I was getting a job for the next few weeks. I dug my heels in, you can't yell at me for not being communicative-- then make a decision by yourself on a problem I sat down to talk about but you walked away from. She had an appointment, so it was left at that and she had to go.
Since then I hadn't brought it up again until a few days ago-- I was worried about coming off as selfish yet again for poking at a problem John already said he'd deal with. I had also realized that Hannah's birthday was only a few days away, and since she had been upset since the beginning of the summer about being alone for her birthday I thought it would be incredibly balls to be like "SEE YA!" two days before her birthday. But Hannah already had plans (who bailed on her in the end... jerks.) So that point was gone, and Chris wanting me home began to push the issue to me, for me-- I've let my fear of being called selfish push me away from trying to get back to the Island when it makes logical sense to get there as soon as possible now. I relinquished logic I'm so put out by this. But I'm still a chicken, so I started off with asking John when my mom had already gone to bed if he had talked to her about it at all and he said he would again, and then last night I asked again and he said sort of and to give her a few days.
The other day we all went into town, and in the mail came my Student Loan papers and a package pick up notice. The package, was the XBox 360 from signing up for internet with Telus for Chris and I's apartment in Victoria.
~~Back Story Time~~
Back near the end of July, Chris and I were looking into internet providers. Telus won by being the only people to advertise that you can get just internet on it's own without cable or a home phone. Since I had been in a Telus household back on the island, I suggested we see if my we could add on to my mom's Telus account (since she had been a customer for so many years, and was still a customer for home phone), and if that would save us any money. And we did, while we did I mentioned an idea I had had when we thought the XBox would show up at Chris and I's apartment, of leaving our first XBox here since my mom thought Kinect was cool and wanted to try the different fitness games. (However I changed my mind the day I saw 2-3 mice come running out of the entertainment center, the XBox was not only my first big purchase but Chris and I's first purchase together [Call me sentimental, I don't want mice chewing through its cords.] But this is beside the point.) My mom seemed to like the idea, even though she was still getting a bit quieter and moodier every time the apartment was brought up at that time. After talking to Telus, my mom said we could get ____ internet plan for $34/month. I told Chris and he agreed it was awesome, so we signed up. Then my mom said the modem and XBox would be showing up here (in fuck-all-nowhere) in a few weeks.
~~it's been a few weeks~~
When the XBox was brought inside, and I noticed John had opened it I said "You opened it? ... I wanted to open it with Chris." This is when we found out that we had different ideas about where and who with the XBox belonged.
I spluttered and said I didn't know how to explain where who ever's misunderstanding had come from (far less elegantly), and a few failed attempts spurred both me to start crying in discomfort of the situation and my mother to walk out of the room saying something I can't remember specifically but it gave me the sentiment of "Oh well, I know you're the kind of person who would cry about not getting the bigger, better, shinier thing." Which is what really pissed me off, she took my seeming to think the XBox was mine and ran off with it, speaking against my character and holding the title of being my mother over my head as to say that means she's right. I guess I had some good gimme-gimme moments as a kid she hasn't let go of or told me about.
- Yes, the new XBox does have a larger hard drive and built-in wi-fi capability while Chris and I's xbox does not. Pointing this out just seems like an argument that I am selfish, rather than an argument about the XBox. I can't see any other reason she would have brought this up. (In fact, if anything-- if I REALLY wanted the XBox, that should be MY argument. My mother has constantly looked down at my video game playing, yet intends to outstrip myself AND Chris in gaming? Plus, until I moved Chris and I's XBox back into my room it was connected to an ethernet cable anyways. But whatever, I'm getting sidetracked.)
- I am well aware that no one needs two XBoxes, but in all fairness if you're going to play that card no one needs an XBox in the first place. I love our XBox; but, and whether I have ridiculously long gaming sprees or not, I'm fully aware I do not need it to sustain life. I'm not retarded.
Whew. From under the big barrel of confusing emotional crap-- Chris and I have re-taken up playing RuneScape. It's nerdily delicious and serves as a reminder of why we aren't going to try WoW, since the last time we played RuneScape we would play every day practically. So there's that happy distraction as well as packing, because sensitive to my mom dealing with my "moving out" or not, classes start in 3 weeks. There's a light at the end of this tunnel.
The game.