FIC: Brother's Keeper, pairing Nathan/Peter, NC-17, chapter 29
Title: Brother's Keeper
Authors: henrika_amanda & pilar_sama
Rating: Eventually NC-17
Pairing: Nathan/Peter… and more in future chapters
Summary: The year Peter graduates high school, his big brother Nathan takes him out on a 3-week long camping trip… which will forever change the lives of them both.
Disclaimer: No rights, no income. We’re just a pair of poor students anyway.
Warnings: Incest, dark themes, violence.
*
Chapter 29
During the slow drive back to Nathan’s apartment, Peter slowly became aware of a sensation in his stomach. He hoped his brother could not hear the gurgle which followed, but he could not deny it: he was hungry.
Nathan, who noticed his little brother’s squirming, stared for a moment at him until he decided to speak up. “What’s wrong buddy?”
Peter blushed. “Nothing...” he mumbled.
Nathan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew his brother well enough to know this wasn’t “nothing”. “Are you hurting someplace?”
Peter shook his head. “No... I’m just a little hungry...”
Now the older man’s eyes widened in surprise instead. “But we just ate, sweetie.”
“I... I didn’t get to eat all that much,” Peter confessed. ”When Da--- when he started talking I kind of lost my appetite.”
“Oh, poor little buddy.” Nathan rubbed his brother’s neck with one hand. The muscles felt awfully tense still. “So, what are you hungry for?”
”A Baconator would be nice... and a Frosty.”
Nathan knew what his brother was referring to, and while he had never liked indulging in fast food, he was going to make an exception for Peter tonight. “Hey sir, would you mind stopping by the Wendy’s on 27th street?” Nathan asked the driver.
*
Nathan was pleased to discover that Peter’s old appetite had returned full-swing when it came to fast food. It was progress at least, and hopefully it meant that healthier food was next. When they arrived at the apartment, Peter held the fast food and the keys whilst Nathan held the containers of left-overs. They would be eating like kings for a good while, that much was certain. But for now, a bacon cheeseburger, a salad, and soft-served ice cream would do.
During their meal, Nathan stopped eating his salad to watch his little brother eat. Peter seemed to be rather happy with his food, thank God. The older man had not seen his brother eat so enthusiastically in a long time, not even during the Thanksgiving dinner he had been so excited for.
Then again, Arthur had been there, he thought.
After his hunger had been stifled, Peter went to change back into his usual “homey” clothes; sweatpants, a big T-shirt and woolly socks to keep his feet warm. Nathan noticed that Peter had already spilt something that appeared to be mayo and ketchup on his blue dress shirt, but he kept quiet about it for now. Shirts could be dry-cleaned, after all.
“You tired, buddy?” Nathan asked his brother a short while after they had crashed on the sofa and were zapping between a multitude of channels in search of something worth watching.
The boy shook his head, legs folded and feet tucked in under his thighs. “I feel like watching a movie,” he said.
Nathan nodded toward the shelf where he stored his VHS tapes, neatly stacked. “Go pick something.”
“I’ve already seen most of those,” Peter muttered. “And you mostly have boring war movies anyway.”
“Hey!” The lawyer tweaked his brother’s left ear. “Apocalypse Now or Das Boot are not boring. But then of course, it’s nothing something that your generation would appreciate.”
Peter ignored the barb with surprising coolness. “Maybe we could rent something?”
“If you insist you’ve seen everything on my shelf.. oh I’m sorry, everything that’s not boring...” Nathan retorted.
“Pleeeease?” Peter begged, letting his big expressive eyes work their magic on the lawyer.
Nathan snickered. “Alright.”
A video store was only a block away from the building in which Nathan lived, and it had been where he purchased several films now in his collection. Peter insisted they rent something above the PG-13 rating, perhaps in an attempt to sound more like an adult.
“What, you don’t want to watch Alice in Wonderland?” Nathan jibed.
“Knock it off,” Peter said, though he smiled behind his long hair, and he knew Nathan could see it. “Maybe something scary.”
“Scary, huh?” Nathan was hesitant about the request. Peter still had problems with nightmares after all, and the last thing either of them needed was Leatherface joining into the chaos of another of his brother’s bad dreams.
While Nathan stopped to peruse the drama and historical sections, Peter stalked closer and closer to where the horror movies were kept. He could also see a door with a big, red X on it, informing everyone that no one under 18 was allowed in there. Probably it was where they stored their porn collection, and Peter briefly considered dragging Nathan in there just for the sake of shock value. The contents of the room, however, did not interest him. Most porn movies were tedious, especially straight porn, and Peter didn’t figure they had anything to offer that might tickle his fancy. For now, horror was much more interesting.
When Nathan finally realized where his brother had gone and joined him, he was filled with even more doubt. “Come on, bud, why don’t we rent something that’s not horror?” he suggested, trying to take away the cover of Friday the 13th part 6 from Peter’s hands.
“No,” the boy snapped, dodging Nathan’s hand. “I wanna see a slasher!”
“Peter...” Nathan started, about to warn his brother of possible nightmares. But he stopped himself. The last thing he needed was a fight to break out with Peter arguing that he would absolutely not get nightmares from watching a retarded behemoth dicing people into ribbons. “I don’t,” he finally said. “What if it was something we could both enjoy?”
Peter cocked a skeptical eyebrow. “Like what?”
“Uhmmm...” Nathan’s eyes quickly darted over the covers in front of him. Christ, it seemed like everything on the shelf was doused in blood.
Finally, success. “Hey, what about this?” He removed the cover from the shelf, presenting it to his little brother.
Peter took it in his hands and frowned at the cover, the film clearly unrecognizable. “I’ve never heard of that one.”
“Oh, come on, Ghost Story is a great one!” Nathan replied, though he hardly remembered the film at all. The first and only time he had seen it was when it played in theaters, and that was in 1981.
The boy frowned. “It looks old,” he said. “And cheesy!”
“I can promise you it’s quite scary enough,” Nathan replied, and this time he was not lying or exaggerating. He had seen the movie when he was fourteen and still impressionable.
“I don’t know...” Peter said, still hesitant. He did not feel like sitting through two hours of bore watching some moldy old ghost movie that used to be hot stuff in the seventies or eighties.
“It’s got some naked guys in it,” Nathan said with a grin, nudging his brother’s shoulder and hoping this would spike Peter’s interest.
“Oh knock it off!” the young man exclaimed, now blushing. “They’re probably old dudes anyway, judging from the cover.”
“Actually if I remember correctly, there’s more than just old guys.”
Peter’s face was bright red, and Nathan wondered if he should lay off the insinuations. But the younger man’s eyes glanced at the cover in contemplation and the color eased off in his complexion.
“It’s a really scary movie though...?”
“Yes, I remember that perfectly well,” Nathan said, his face earnest. The little frown deepened on Peter for a split second, but he put the cover to the slasher back on the shelf without so much as a glance, Jason Voorhees completely forgotten.
“Alright, but if it’s boring, that’s all your fault.”
“I accept that dishonor,” Nathan replied, grinning. “We done?”
“Yeah, sure,” Peter said, and he jogged over to the counter, video cover in hand.
Nathan paid for the movie, and the two brothers headed back to the lawyer’s apartment on foot. Peter seemed to be doing relatively well despite the catastrophic start of the evening, and this raised Nathan’s spirits as well. If Peter could forget about Arthur Petrelli and his malice, then Nathan could too.
As soon as they were back indoors, Peter became very impatient about getting the movie into the VCR player and start watching it.
“It’s only ten fifteen,” Nathan pointed out. “We’ve got plenty of time.” While his little brother had taken out a bag of sour-cream onion potato chips and poured himself a glass of Coke, Nathan decided to enjoy the movie while sipping on some sherry.
Huddled on the couch together with their respective treats, the brothers finally pressed the “play” button and saw the movie flicker to life on Nathan’s large TV screen. Nathan found himself recognizing more and more of the story as the film continued, and soon he was waiting with anticipation, watching a face that paid him no attention, large eyes glued to the screen as a nude man approached his lover.
When the moment finally heightened to horrible faces and a plummeting demise, Nathan was instantly back in the tent months ago, watching in the dark as his little brother, silent but wide-eyed, took in the climax of a creepy urban legend. Peter presently sat mouth agape at the scene, fingers clenched in ripples of his sweatpants.
“Boring, huh?” the lawyer finally asked.
The sound of the voice next to him made Peter finally flinch, and his face reddened at how easily he had been frightened.
“So far, so good,” he answered, giving a nervous chuckle. Nathan smiled and wrapped an arm around his little brother’s shoulders. The remainder of the film carried on with Peter still locked against his big brother’s form, tensing at times but stuck to him all the same.
Once the credits had started rolling after Ghost Story’ s really climactic ending scene, Nathan turned the movie off and turned his attention to Peter, who had been oddly silent for a while now, occasionally just emitting little gasps of fear or surprise.
“So, what did you think, buddy? Not so boring, huh?”
“No...” Peter said, but his voice was hoarse and barely more than a whisper.
“That’s what I told you. Ghost Story’s a classic, losing none of its charm as time goes by. Beats Jason’s machete any day, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose...”
“You sleepy now, little buddy?”
Peter nodded. “A little. Will you be joining me?” He hoped dearly that Nathan would not catch on to the fact that Peter was really rattled up and not wanting to go to bed by himself.
“Sure, don’t I always?” the older man said, squeezing the smaller figure with one arm. Peter dug his face into the junction of Nathan’s shoulder and neck.
After brushing teeth and changing clothes, Nathan entered the bedroom to find Peter nestled up to his chin in the blankets, as though protecting his body. It looked a little bit amusing to see his brother’s head as the only visible evidence that Peter was under the covers. Following the viewing of the film however, Nathan found himself picturing a scene in his mind where his brother’s head was the only thing present, with no body beneath the blankets to join it. Knocking the disturbing mental image away, the lawyer entered his side of the bed and switched off the lamp beside him.
“You okay, bud?” he asked, leaning over his little brother with a smile.
“Yeah,” Peter said plainly with a shrug, though the blankets obscured the gesture to the point of leaving only a quirky nod of the head visible. “Good night.”
“Good night, sweetie,” his brother replied, kissing Peter’s temple before easing under the blankets and taking the boy in his arms. Even though Peter’s body was not visible to the outside world from under the blankets, it felt very live and real to Nathan, but also slightly more taut than usual. Nathan passed his hands over his brother’s shoulders and back, trying to soothe the tense muscles into relaxing. Though Peter had claimed to be sleepy, his breathing alone suggested otherwise.
“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” Nathan asked.
“No...” Peter said after a brief pause. “Why?”
“You feel tense. Is it about earlier?”
“Earlier?”
“Yeah, what happened during the dinner,” Nathan explained, surprised that he had to clarify that. “Are you dwelling on something that he said?”
“Not really...” Peter muttered. In fact, until his brother had brought up the subject, Peter had blissfully forgotten about the incident at the dinner, and he mentioned this to Nathan. This made Nathan feel like a heel.
“Sorry, buddy,” he said truthfully. “I didn’t mean to remind you.”
“I would’ve remembered anyway,” Peter said, giving a sad smile that was visible in the dark room. Nathan instinctively put a hand on the back of his baby brother’s head and patted.
“So what’s really going on?” he asked. “Or is it better I leave it be until you’re ready?”
“I’m fine,” the young man insisted, though his body language hardly supported his statement.
Perhaps he needs some time, Nathan thought. “Well, just remember you can tell me anything, buddy.”
“I know.”
Nathan soon succumbed to sleep and Peter envied him. He was tired, but the recent images of rotting corpses and women with decomposed faces were burned deep within his mind and would not let him rest. Why had Nathan left the closet door open? Even in the dark, Peter could see that a dark shadow was trying to reach out through the crack. His mind twisted the shadow, that was probably just caused by a cloth hanger, into the shape of a skeletal hand.
Peter was not sure who to blame more; himself for being a stupid little twat or Nathan for choosing the movie. He wanted to blame Nathan; it would have been the easier choice, but Peter was well-aware that he himself had insisted on a scary movie in the first place. Nathan’s presence in the bed kept the worst of the fear at bay, and Peter even hoped he would be able to fall asleep eventually and laugh at his ridiculous behaviour in the morning when he woke up.
However, he soon discovered he needed to empty his bladder. He quietly cursed to himself and watched as Nathan winced at the sound, muttered something incoherent, and dove back under. Part of Peter wanted his brother to wake up so that he could be reassured by someone besides himself that he was being foolish.
But he was trying to be independent.
Sighing, he dislodged himself from the tangle of his and Nathan’s arms and sat up. Though he continued to tell himself that nothing was lurking in the closet, he still avoided looking at it as he stood. Even thinking about the door caused a shiver to run up his back. His nakedness made him feel colder and all the more fragile. The very idea of a set of hands - normal, clawed, even decayed - caused him to jolt forward until he was at the doorway, gripping the frame like a person in an earthquake.
Of course, once he was at the door, he found his legs were paralyzed. The hallway was suddenly so dark, but the space between the doorway and Nathan’s bed was far too risky when that closet was still there.
“Nathan!” Peter hissed. “Nathan, wake up!”
The older man stirred, turning over and muttering something before his eyes focused on Peter standing by the door. “Jesus, Pete, what time is it...?”
“Nathan, I gotta go pee...”
The lawyer raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“C-can you come with me? I’m afraid to go out there on my own.” Peter blushed furiously and was relieved that the darkness at least concealed that.
“Oh for Christ’s sake...” Nathan sounded really annoyed, and immediately Peter regretted waking him up. All he had accomplished was making a fool out of himself.
“There’s no boogeyman out there. I promise. Now go on.” Nathan lay back down and closed his eyes, punctuating that he would absolutely not accompany his kid brother to the bathroom.
Peter’s eyes burned to the point of rivaling the red in his face, but he stubbornly held the tears back. He wanted to think it was because he was developing a spine, but in truth he was just too focused on the dark of the hallway. Turning his head back, he stared out into the hallway, into the dark space which held the bathroom door.
Now or never.
A brief hesitation, but then he darted out like a fish cautious of predators. For Christ’s sake, it was just a movie! However, somehow that was excuse was unfounded in his mind, and he quickly shut the door and hurried with his business. Peter thought he might have heard his urine go elsewhere beyond inside the bowl, but he was too nervous to be sure of what noises he heard being real or just imagination. The moment he was finished urinating, Peter opened the door and darted back out again, a fish moving too fast to give bigger animals a chance of catching it. The idea would have been comical if he had not been so afraid.
A brief glance at the closet door gave him a burst of speed and before he was aware, Nathan was grunting in surprise from his little brother jumping into the bed.
“Peter, what the hell?” The shock at being tackled by Peter while half-asleep made Nathan’s reaction sound angrier than it was.
Peter, panting heavily as though he had just run a Marathon, recoiled from the apparent fury of his older brother. “I’m sorry...” he whimpered, tears not far away. “I... I was just so scared... The closet, there was... I was...”
Nathan stopped the boy’s frantic attempts to explain himself by gently grabbing him by the shoulders. It stung his heart when Peter looked away.
“Nice and slow, baby. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“I was so scared... The movie... now I see her everywhere.”
Nathan sighed when the truth finally dawned on him. The horror movie had gotten his brother so worked up that he was even afraid of going to the bathroom on his own. “I really fucked up on that one, didn’t I?” he asked.
A sniffle floated in the dark between them, and in the murk, Nathan could see with adjusted vision a face screwed up in embarrassment and sadness. Turning the lamp on, he watched as Peter blinked away the harshness of the sudden light, and then proceeded to blink away threatening tears.
“It’s my fault,” the boy admitted, a solitary tear finally escaping his eye. “I wanted to watch something scary. I wanted... to be... the way I was...”
“Sweetheart...”
“I wish I was...” he sobbed, his state of upset growing, “…how I used to be.”
“Hey, hey...” Nathan interrupted the boy, taking Peter in his arms and rocking him back and forth where they sat. “Take it easy... breathe deep. That’s it.”
“I thought I saw something in the closet...” Peter said with a sniffle. ”It---it looked like a h-hand, and...”
“It’s just a cloth hanger, baby. It can’t hurt you.”
“I know that! It’s just that when it was dark, and my imagination...”
“You should have told me while we were watching the movie,” Nathan gently admonished the boy. “Then we could have turned it off and watched something else.”
“I didn’t want you to think I was being silly...” Peter yanked a tissue from the bedside table and blew his nose audibly. He also felt something wet on his inner thigh, suggesting he hadn’t wiped himself enough - or at all - during his latest visit to the toilet.
“I wouldn’t have thought you were silly,” Nathan said gravely.
“Yes, you would’ve.”
“I know you’re very vulnerable right now. And if I’d known the movie would affect you like this, I wouldn’t have let you watch it.”
“It also had me thinking of something else...” Peter said but did not finish the sentence until Nathan urged him to go on. “That woman in the movie, Eva, she came after those men and their families because they hurt her, right?”
“That’s right, sweetie. But you haven’t hurt anyone, Peter. So even if ghosts really existed, they wouldn’t come after you.”
“But what if they come back? I’m sure they’d want to kill me!”
Of course Nathan would have been an idiot to not know who “they” were. The horrible men who were only faintly men on the outside. Now those were the scary ones. “Baby,” he said, looking into his eyes. “When you have something to say, what do I always advise you to do?”
“Tell you about it,” Peter answered, lowering his eyes a little and feeling foolish.
“And when something - or someone - is bothering you...?”
“Tell you about it.”
A kiss was planted on Peter’s forehead, and it caused him to look up into his brother’s strong (his beautiful) face.
“Because I’ll always be here for you,” Nathan promised, and his eyes meant he was serious. “I’ll always take care of you, no matter what.”
Peter looked down and smiled, though it was a hesitant smile, meaning he was still slightly embarrassed by his behavior.
“Even from scary movies.”
This made Peter giggle, and his smile became genuine.”Can we keep the lights on tonight?” Peter then asked, preparing himself for a negative reply. He was surprised - and relieved - when Nathan instantly said “sure, we can do that”. The lamp’s soft light was further diffused by the lampshade, and though Peter usually slept in darkness, he knew he would not be bothered by it. Having no unpredictable shadows to worry about was rather comforting.
When Nathan started to rearrange the pillows into a comfortable position, Peter unexpectedly left the bed, padding over to the closet and nudging the door all the way shut. Nathan couldn’t help but laugh.
Though he did not leap into bed, the boy was hasty to retreat under the covers, and Nathan was half tempted to tickle him beneath the sheets if not for the concern that Peter would cry out in fear of something grabbing him. Peter’s head popped out from his hiding place a few seconds later with ruffled hair, but otherwise fine.
“Better?” Nathan asked.
“Mmm-hmm.” Peter cuddled closer and nuzzled his brother as proof.
Any closer, Nathan thought, and this would be a different relationship altogether. He shut the thought out as quickly as it came to him. Peter loved him in that intimate fashion, but he was ashamed of it. They were, after all, brothers, and Nathan did not need to remind himself of how freakish his little brother must have felt about it.
“Lights still on?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Peter replied, and he immediately closed his eyes. “Love you.”
”Love you too, buddy.”
With the lights on and both brothers in the firm grip of one another, Peter soon found himself falling asleep, the ghosts of both the film and the past out of his mind and away from his dreams.
TBC...