A Minor Observation: I C Major Potential in You and I
Baekhyun/D.O., Crack/Humor, AU, PG, ~1750w
In which Baekhyun is a piano player at a family restaurant with a questionable repertoire and Kyungsoo just wants to eat his dinner in peace.
Title pun inspired by one of the pick-up lines from here.
Warning: copious amounts of crack, inappropriate behavior for a family restaurant setting, random/terrible song choices. Also. Remember this?
Every week on Friday nights, Kyungsoo enjoys going to the restaurant a block down from his office to unwind. It’s a small family restaurant, complete with homey touches like sports jerseys on the walls, assorted knickknacks, and live piano music after 8pm every day of the week. Yixing is usually the pianist in charge of providing the restaurant with background music, but this week, it appears that he has been replaced by another pianist whose masterful multitasking skills allow him to simultaneously read the sheet music and send unsubtle glances over at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo isn’t one to jump to conclusions, but he’s pretty sure the new pianist is trying to flirt with him. Just for fun, Kyungsoo smiles and waves at the pianist the next time he looks up and sure enough, the pianist smiles enthusiastically back.
“His name is Baekhyun,” Sehun says, placing a plate of steak in front of Kyungsoo. Sehun rarely does service with a smile, but Kyungsoo humors him because Sehun’s a good kid and he has yet to drop a plate of food, even when he’s balancing four plates at a time.
“What happened to Yixing?”
“Yixing found a better gig out of town. But Baekhyun’s pretty good,” Sehun says just as Baekhyun launches into a rather impressive rendition of The Entertainer.
Kyungsoo shrugs and digs into his meal. He doesn’t spare Baekhyun another glance, but he’s pretty sure that as the evening moves along, the music playing in the background becomes more insistent.
*
The next week Kyungsoo goes to the restaurant, he discovers that Baekhyun has procured a microphone.
“Good evening everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their meals,” Baekhyun says cheerfully. “It’s the top of the hour, which means I’ll be singing for you. I hope you enjoy!”
Kyungsoo isn’t sure what he was expecting Baekhyun's voice to sound like, but all he knows is that the rich tone is very, very nice.
“I put on my favorite clothes. I take a single yellow rose in my hand while I stare at you,” Baekhyun sings as he looks deliberately over at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo points to the grease dripping from his burger and points back at Baekhyun.
“Without me knowing, I gave out a laugh. This wasn’t it. This wasn’t what my heart had planned.”
Sehun walks by the piano and mimes pouring a glass of water over Baekhyun’s head before setting the glass onto a coaster on the piano. Kyungsoo laughs.
“For you, the things I’ve prepared; I have over five hundred cool things to say. “I love you”, not something cheesy like that. It is more. I’ve prepared something romantic and sweet.”
Eventually, Kyungsoo tunes Baekhyun out because he's hungry and food always takes precedence over everything else. However, he is soon distracted once again by Baekhyun, who has finished singing and is waving his arms wildly while trying to ask Kyungsoo something. His words are drowned out by the buzz of the conversations around them, so it takes Kyungsoo a few tries before he finally figures it out.
What. Is. Your. Name?
“Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo mouths back.
Hi. Kyungsoo. I’m. Baekhyun.
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, waving Sehun over to request his check. He's not done eating, but the 10:30pm train will be here soon and he's not in the mood for an expensive taxi ride home.
Can’t. You. Stay. For. A. Bit. More?
“I have to catch the train.”
As he leaves, Goodbye My Love plays sorrowfully in the background.
*
(Write Comments for the Pianist Here!
Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo you were looking very ♯ tonight. D.C. al Fiiiiine, if you know what I mean. Pls respond this is important.
Your puns are a bit ♭...
You guys need to stop. -Sehun)
*
“First I’m gonna take a dive into the water, deep until I know I pleased that body, body,” Baekhyun sings, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo as he continues to sing a song that is definitely not family friendly. Kyungsoo looks around, mortified. Luckily, nobody seems to have caught on to the vulgar lyrics. He kind of regrets taking English in college.
“Or maybe we can float on top my water bed,” Baekhyun croons, adding extra adlibs to “bed”. “You close your eyes as I improv between your legs,” He strokes the piano keys with his long fingers, dragging them across the keyboard in an exaggerated motion.
From the corner of his eye, he sees an elderly couple listening raptly, swaying in time to the music. Kyungsoo wants to die.
“This is a family establishment,” Kyungsoo hisses.
“Boy you know I, I, I. BOY YOU KNOW I, I, I.”
“Oh my god.”
(Write Comments for the Pianist Here!
It’s not my birthday!!!
;) )
*
“I didn’t order this,” Kyungsoo starts to protest as Sehun places a big slice of apple pie in front of him.
“A la mode?” Sehun asks, completely ignoring Kyungsoo’s fussing. He waves a large ice cream scooper and shifts to draw attention to a tub of vanilla ice cream tucked under his arm.
“I. Didn’t. Order. This,” Kyungsoo repeats slowly, pushing the plate away. As much as he likes apple pie, it wouldn’t be right to eat someone else’s order.
“I know. Baekhyun asked me to bring this to you. It’s on him,” Sehun explains just as slowly, as if relaying the message is physically taxing. It probably is. “A la mode?” He repeats.
“Sure. Why not,” Kyungsoo sighs. If he’s getting free pie, he may as well go all out. Sehun nods and plops a generous amount of ice cream onto the pie.
“Enjoy,” Sehun says monotonously, leaving a napkin for Kyungsoo before walking over to another table to pick up plates. Upon closer inspection, Kyungsoo finds that the napkin has a bit of writing on it.
Hi, cutie pie! I’m sweet on you ;) -Baekhyun
OK.
“I’ll tip you generously if you bring a glass of water over to Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says, waving Sehun back over to his table. Baekhyun is currently taking a break. Perfect.
“I’m a waiter, not a messenger boy,” Sehun complains but walks briskly back into the kitchen to bring out a tall glass of water. The ice cubes clinking noisily as he walks briskly over to Baekhyun. Sehun puts the glass firmly down on the coaster on top of the piano and gestures over to where Kyungsoo is sitting. Baekhyun holds up the glass of water and shoots him a confused look before taking a hesitant sip.
“You’re acting real thirsty,” Kyungsoo mouths before forking a big piece of pie into his mouth. He chews deliberately, savoring the way the pie and ice cream melts on his tongue. When he slowly licks the corners of his mouth clean, Baekhyun almost spits water all over the piano.
*
“You’re right, hyung. He’s does look thirsty. Thirsty for this,” Jongin makes a vulgar motion with his hands and Kyungsoo slaps his hands just as a family of four walks by their table. The father sends the two of them a dirty look and Kyungsoo shoots him an apologetic glance before reminding Jongin that they are in a family restaurant, thank you very much.
Jongin shrugs and steals a piece of chicken from Kyungsoo’s plate. “What? Your boyfriend has been smiling and winking at you all night,” He says with his mouth full. “By the way, thanks for inviting me to dinner.”
“You’re paying for your own food, you know,” Kyungsoo reminds him.
“Stingy,” Jongin whines. He moves his fork to steal another piece of chicken. Kyungsoo knocks it away with his own fork.
Over at the piano, Baekhyun is practically swaying off the bench to get his attention so Kyungsoo humors him.
“What?” He mouths.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Baekhyun mouths back.
Kyungsoo just shrugs and Baekhyun pouts. Jongin isn’t his boyfriend but Kyungsoo wants to eat an embarrassment-free dinner tonight.
“Hyung, I think he’s playing Taylor Swift songs now,” Jongin laughs.
“How tasteful.”
“Hey, no hating on Taylor.”
(“Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”)
*
“It’s hard to do my job when the two of you are staring at each other like that,” Sehun grumbles at Kyungsoo as he clears away his plate of salad. “I feel like I’m intruding on something every time I come to pick up your plates.”
“We’re not staring at each other,” Kyungsoo says automatically and tears his eyes away from the piano where Baekhyun is using his short break time to organize his sheet music. This evening, Baekhyun is working his way through Debussy’s most popular works and Kyungsoo likes the change of pace.
“Yes you are,” Sehun pulls Kyungsoo up by the arm and drags him over to the piano. “And it needs to stop now.”
“I thought you weren’t a messenger boy,” Kyungsoo protests as he unsuccessfully attempts to free himself from Sehun’s grip.
“I’m not. But sometimes I drive the delivery car, so delivering the goods IS part of my job.” Sehun dumps Kyungsoo unceremoniously onto the piano bench.
“Hi,” Baekhyun says, looking surprised as he moves over to make room for Kyungsoo. “What a pleasant surprise.”
“You are very relentless in your pursuit,” Kyungsoo admonishes. He should be mad, but the only thing he’s mad about is the fact that, if he really thinks about it, Baekhyun’s antics are more amusing than annoying.
“Honestly, I just wanted to make you laugh. You have a very nice smile,” Baekhyun grins, eyes twinkling. “Anyways, it’s my way of finding out what kind of wooing technique would work best on you.”
“You know, you could just ask.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Will you go out with me?”
“No.”
“...”
“But maybe next time I’ll stay until your shift is over,” Kyungsoo says.
“I’d like that,” Baekhyun smiles.
I’m not sure why Kyungsoo kept going back to the restaurant. If it were me I’d be out of there pronto.
And apologies to all baeksoo fans u all deserve better omg.
Songs Mentioned:
The Entertainer-Scott Joplin x
Confession-Hot Potato (used translated lyrics from: x) x
Goodbye My Love-Teresa Teng x
Birthday Sex-Jeremih x (was considering Touchin’ On My-3Oh!3 but nothing beats this song)
Enchanted-Taylor Swift x
PEOPLE ACTUALLY SING DIRTY SONGS IN PUBLIC LIKE IT’S NOTHING
In which Baekhyun is a piano player at a family restaurant with a questionable repertoire and Kyungsoo just wants to eat his dinner in peace.
Title pun inspired by one of the pick-up lines from here.
Warning: copious amounts of crack, inappropriate behavior for a family restaurant setting, random/terrible song choices. Also. Remember this?
Every week on Friday nights, Kyungsoo enjoys going to the restaurant a block down from his office to unwind. It’s a small family restaurant, complete with homey touches like sports jerseys on the walls, assorted knickknacks, and live piano music after 8pm every day of the week. Yixing is usually the pianist in charge of providing the restaurant with background music, but this week, it appears that he has been replaced by another pianist whose masterful multitasking skills allow him to simultaneously read the sheet music and send unsubtle glances over at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo isn’t one to jump to conclusions, but he’s pretty sure the new pianist is trying to flirt with him. Just for fun, Kyungsoo smiles and waves at the pianist the next time he looks up and sure enough, the pianist smiles enthusiastically back.
“His name is Baekhyun,” Sehun says, placing a plate of steak in front of Kyungsoo. Sehun rarely does service with a smile, but Kyungsoo humors him because Sehun’s a good kid and he has yet to drop a plate of food, even when he’s balancing four plates at a time.
“What happened to Yixing?”
“Yixing found a better gig out of town. But Baekhyun’s pretty good,” Sehun says just as Baekhyun launches into a rather impressive rendition of The Entertainer.
Kyungsoo shrugs and digs into his meal. He doesn’t spare Baekhyun another glance, but he’s pretty sure that as the evening moves along, the music playing in the background becomes more insistent.
*
The next week Kyungsoo goes to the restaurant, he discovers that Baekhyun has procured a microphone.
“Good evening everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their meals,” Baekhyun says cheerfully. “It’s the top of the hour, which means I’ll be singing for you. I hope you enjoy!”
Kyungsoo isn’t sure what he was expecting Baekhyun's voice to sound like, but all he knows is that the rich tone is very, very nice.
“I put on my favorite clothes. I take a single yellow rose in my hand while I stare at you,” Baekhyun sings as he looks deliberately over at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo points to the grease dripping from his burger and points back at Baekhyun.
“Without me knowing, I gave out a laugh. This wasn’t it. This wasn’t what my heart had planned.”
Sehun walks by the piano and mimes pouring a glass of water over Baekhyun’s head before setting the glass onto a coaster on the piano. Kyungsoo laughs.
“For you, the things I’ve prepared; I have over five hundred cool things to say. “I love you”, not something cheesy like that. It is more. I’ve prepared something romantic and sweet.”
Eventually, Kyungsoo tunes Baekhyun out because he's hungry and food always takes precedence over everything else. However, he is soon distracted once again by Baekhyun, who has finished singing and is waving his arms wildly while trying to ask Kyungsoo something. His words are drowned out by the buzz of the conversations around them, so it takes Kyungsoo a few tries before he finally figures it out.
What. Is. Your. Name?
“Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo mouths back.
Hi. Kyungsoo. I’m. Baekhyun.
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, waving Sehun over to request his check. He's not done eating, but the 10:30pm train will be here soon and he's not in the mood for an expensive taxi ride home.
Can’t. You. Stay. For. A. Bit. More?
“I have to catch the train.”
As he leaves, Goodbye My Love plays sorrowfully in the background.
*
(Write Comments for the Pianist Here!
Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo you were looking very ♯ tonight. D.C. al Fiiiiine, if you know what I mean. Pls respond this is important.
Your puns are a bit ♭...
You guys need to stop. -Sehun)
*
“First I’m gonna take a dive into the water, deep until I know I pleased that body, body,” Baekhyun sings, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo as he continues to sing a song that is definitely not family friendly. Kyungsoo looks around, mortified. Luckily, nobody seems to have caught on to the vulgar lyrics. He kind of regrets taking English in college.
“Or maybe we can float on top my water bed,” Baekhyun croons, adding extra adlibs to “bed”. “You close your eyes as I improv between your legs,” He strokes the piano keys with his long fingers, dragging them across the keyboard in an exaggerated motion.
From the corner of his eye, he sees an elderly couple listening raptly, swaying in time to the music. Kyungsoo wants to die.
“This is a family establishment,” Kyungsoo hisses.
“Boy you know I, I, I. BOY YOU KNOW I, I, I.”
“Oh my god.”
(Write Comments for the Pianist Here!
It’s not my birthday!!!
;) )
*
“I didn’t order this,” Kyungsoo starts to protest as Sehun places a big slice of apple pie in front of him.
“A la mode?” Sehun asks, completely ignoring Kyungsoo’s fussing. He waves a large ice cream scooper and shifts to draw attention to a tub of vanilla ice cream tucked under his arm.
“I. Didn’t. Order. This,” Kyungsoo repeats slowly, pushing the plate away. As much as he likes apple pie, it wouldn’t be right to eat someone else’s order.
“I know. Baekhyun asked me to bring this to you. It’s on him,” Sehun explains just as slowly, as if relaying the message is physically taxing. It probably is. “A la mode?” He repeats.
“Sure. Why not,” Kyungsoo sighs. If he’s getting free pie, he may as well go all out. Sehun nods and plops a generous amount of ice cream onto the pie.
“Enjoy,” Sehun says monotonously, leaving a napkin for Kyungsoo before walking over to another table to pick up plates. Upon closer inspection, Kyungsoo finds that the napkin has a bit of writing on it.
Hi, cutie pie! I’m sweet on you ;) -Baekhyun
OK.
“I’ll tip you generously if you bring a glass of water over to Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says, waving Sehun back over to his table. Baekhyun is currently taking a break. Perfect.
“I’m a waiter, not a messenger boy,” Sehun complains but walks briskly back into the kitchen to bring out a tall glass of water. The ice cubes clinking noisily as he walks briskly over to Baekhyun. Sehun puts the glass firmly down on the coaster on top of the piano and gestures over to where Kyungsoo is sitting. Baekhyun holds up the glass of water and shoots him a confused look before taking a hesitant sip.
“You’re acting real thirsty,” Kyungsoo mouths before forking a big piece of pie into his mouth. He chews deliberately, savoring the way the pie and ice cream melts on his tongue. When he slowly licks the corners of his mouth clean, Baekhyun almost spits water all over the piano.
*
“You’re right, hyung. He’s does look thirsty. Thirsty for this,” Jongin makes a vulgar motion with his hands and Kyungsoo slaps his hands just as a family of four walks by their table. The father sends the two of them a dirty look and Kyungsoo shoots him an apologetic glance before reminding Jongin that they are in a family restaurant, thank you very much.
Jongin shrugs and steals a piece of chicken from Kyungsoo’s plate. “What? Your boyfriend has been smiling and winking at you all night,” He says with his mouth full. “By the way, thanks for inviting me to dinner.”
“You’re paying for your own food, you know,” Kyungsoo reminds him.
“Stingy,” Jongin whines. He moves his fork to steal another piece of chicken. Kyungsoo knocks it away with his own fork.
Over at the piano, Baekhyun is practically swaying off the bench to get his attention so Kyungsoo humors him.
“What?” He mouths.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Baekhyun mouths back.
Kyungsoo just shrugs and Baekhyun pouts. Jongin isn’t his boyfriend but Kyungsoo wants to eat an embarrassment-free dinner tonight.
“Hyung, I think he’s playing Taylor Swift songs now,” Jongin laughs.
“How tasteful.”
“Hey, no hating on Taylor.”
(“Please don’t be in love with someone else. Please don’t have somebody waiting on you.”)
*
“It’s hard to do my job when the two of you are staring at each other like that,” Sehun grumbles at Kyungsoo as he clears away his plate of salad. “I feel like I’m intruding on something every time I come to pick up your plates.”
“We’re not staring at each other,” Kyungsoo says automatically and tears his eyes away from the piano where Baekhyun is using his short break time to organize his sheet music. This evening, Baekhyun is working his way through Debussy’s most popular works and Kyungsoo likes the change of pace.
“Yes you are,” Sehun pulls Kyungsoo up by the arm and drags him over to the piano. “And it needs to stop now.”
“I thought you weren’t a messenger boy,” Kyungsoo protests as he unsuccessfully attempts to free himself from Sehun’s grip.
“I’m not. But sometimes I drive the delivery car, so delivering the goods IS part of my job.” Sehun dumps Kyungsoo unceremoniously onto the piano bench.
“Hi,” Baekhyun says, looking surprised as he moves over to make room for Kyungsoo. “What a pleasant surprise.”
“You are very relentless in your pursuit,” Kyungsoo admonishes. He should be mad, but the only thing he’s mad about is the fact that, if he really thinks about it, Baekhyun’s antics are more amusing than annoying.
“Honestly, I just wanted to make you laugh. You have a very nice smile,” Baekhyun grins, eyes twinkling. “Anyways, it’s my way of finding out what kind of wooing technique would work best on you.”
“You know, you could just ask.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Will you go out with me?”
“No.”
“...”
“But maybe next time I’ll stay until your shift is over,” Kyungsoo says.
“I’d like that,” Baekhyun smiles.
I’m not sure why Kyungsoo kept going back to the restaurant. If it were me I’d be out of there pronto.
And apologies to all baeksoo fans u all deserve better omg.
Songs Mentioned:
The Entertainer-Scott Joplin x
Confession-Hot Potato (used translated lyrics from: x) x
Goodbye My Love-Teresa Teng x
Birthday Sex-Jeremih x (was considering Touchin’ On My-3Oh!3 but nothing beats this song)
Enchanted-Taylor Swift x
PEOPLE ACTUALLY SING DIRTY SONGS IN PUBLIC LIKE IT’S NOTHING