my friends are non exsistent...i think
do you ever wish you were'nt you?......sometimes thats me....well....a lot of the time....its tuff being the annoying kid or the "i cant stand that kid" and i used to laugh it off...until i realized that i really am....its tuff trying to make people happy ,and they just get pissed or think you suck....im sick of being the kid that talks too much....the kid that needs to chill....or the stupid kid....it hard enough to deal with that fact that i am stupid...i dont need you to point it out...i already know ....im sick of a lot of things....maybe this is why i dont have many friends or at this point in life any friends at all.....it kinda hurts when your friends are embarrassed to be seen with you or...dont even want to talk to you....or when someone ask you who your best friend is and you have to think about it and respond..."well they're my best friend but...i dont think i am to them" maybe this is why i want to finish my car so much...when i think of having it i think of how great i though life was.....when i could just get in my car and drive anywhere in the world and not care....i was never popular or important to many people....but i didnt care i had it pretty good....i didnt have to worry about anything....but now all i do is worry...best freinds are gone for years to hardly ever to be seen...close friends are just gone because they find people who are more exciting people....old memories are brought back only to ruin your current moods....i knew life was going to be difficult....but i never thought like this.......sorry 4 bitching so much but....its been tuff