(no subject)
I first said I was an atheist when I was 7. I can put together a puzzle ring in 15 seconds. I was terrible at math until 5th grade. I learned to speak from my father. I have never kissed a girl. I carried a dead rat home once in elementary school; I carried a dead squirrel home last year.I beat “Myst” when I was 8. I hurt myself for the first time when I was 6; I did it habitually when I was 14; I stopped when I was 17. I used to be afraid of the tornado siren, but never tornados. I am called “Beezle” by my family. I used to spell talk “taulk.” I own Pokemon promo cards #1-42. I ate an ounce of nutmeg once to induce hallucinations. I was humiliated at 4th grade science summer camp because I bit off more than I could chew and gave a really bad oral presentation. I like to play on the swings very late at night. I never watch television programs (excluding movies). I used to look at Hentai. I didn’t know my right from my left until fourth grade: the same year I learned to tie my shoes. I wonder if I have brain damage every morning, usually over breakfast. I shower twice a day sometimes. I kind of like to do derivatives the long way. I dismantled a friend’s Sega Genesis under false pretenses of planning to fix it. I drank insecticide once. I am afraid of my own consciousness. I can build a phone bug. I used to be sexist. I once anesthetized part of my own anal canal. I counterfeited Pokemon cards and traded them to first graders for real ones. I still feel guilty for the time I almost built Dane an induction transformer device after he was mean to Jackie. I almost never read on my own. I once asked Santa to make me immortal. I look at myself in the mirror too much. I do not feel guilty for the counterfeited Pokemon cards. I grew up with Winnie the Pooh, but never Sesame Street. I once dumped water on a lamp and grabbed it just to see what would happen (guess). I am ashamed to even think about sex. I don’t know how to use most people’s microwaves. I am an attention whore. I pray, sometimes, even though I’m an atheist. I do not help my parents whenever I can possibly get away with it. I used to enjoy demolishing CDs in the microwave oven. I know how to program a TI-83 graphing calculator. I’ve never thought myself to love. I hate seeing people content with their lives. I know how to tie a noose. I like to eat Jimsonweed. I think in radians instead of degrees. I would rather sit with you in silence than go see a movie. I drink five cups of coffee every day. I don’t make small talk. I never win games of chance. I embarrass myself almost every time I open my mouth. When I grow up, I would like to be God.