Stupid Grins and Time
Another week is done, so we're all one week closer to the end of the school year. But we have to be careful of counting down. But we know that.
On Tuesday, May 3rd, I took the AP Calculus BC exam. I think I got about a 4. I'm already vaguely aware of some of the fundamentally retarded mistakes I made. I got lazy after that. I haven't accomplished anything of substance since Tuesday, which makes Tuesday seem rather far away. We didn't celebrate 555 day, but then, it really couldn't have come at a worse time. But I am 555. I think. We could have at least derived Phi or something. Pythagoras was among the first to realize that the ratio of alternating sides of superinscribed pentagons and pentacles has importance in many odd places (sunflowers, pineapples, nautilus shells). Not that it's in the same vein as anything else of much relevance right now. See also: Pi day.
Φ = (1+√5)/2
I had my own "Phi" day on which I attempted the construction of Pythagoras' figure using stumps and logs. I built four of five sides and then I got too lazy to continue. I don't like four very much...it's kind of an unpleasant number. This is what I've been doing instead of homework. And to think, a year ago I'd have actually made myself finish, when it probably matters even less than anything else that has happened this fucking week!
On the bright side, I've warmed up to statistics and probability. And photographs. And almost even numbers (almost). And I keep wondering if there's a time quantum, but that's not the kind of thing you just ask someone. Who would you ask, "Who killed the goddamn Cat?!" On the bright side, if I tried to walk directly at this wall several trillion times, I'd eventually just go through it. Or on water.
My rat is still alive. I hope it's ok that I tell you that even though I do not look at him right now. Gus became very sick monday night...my mother and I thought he was going to die. I couldn't sleep. So it goes. I think the Doxy has been helping. I hope the Doxy has been helping. This is so much different when it hits so close to home. If last year I learned how much I want to know, then this I've learned how much I don't know, and, to a vastly lesser degree, how much I do know. Then perhaps another of my aspirations has been fulfilled: I nearly know what it means to lie to myself and I nearly know how to avoid it. Nearly.
Five weeks to point the camera at the television. And I have piles of old photographs.
"Do I dare/Disturb the universe? In a minute there is time/For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse./For I have known them all already, known them all..." -Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.
Sometimes I really think I have. But I can't help but wonder: who is she? And then it's time to do it all over again. And then it's time to superimpose more lies and more meaningless perversion onto innocent people. And now I'm really just too tired to continue to ramble in here. I started writing without anything of importance to say, and here I finish without anything of importance to say. I would appreciate it if you stopped reading and abstained from mentally revisiting this entry.
-Michael Doyle
On Tuesday, May 3rd, I took the AP Calculus BC exam. I think I got about a 4. I'm already vaguely aware of some of the fundamentally retarded mistakes I made. I got lazy after that. I haven't accomplished anything of substance since Tuesday, which makes Tuesday seem rather far away. We didn't celebrate 555 day, but then, it really couldn't have come at a worse time. But I am 555. I think. We could have at least derived Phi or something. Pythagoras was among the first to realize that the ratio of alternating sides of superinscribed pentagons and pentacles has importance in many odd places (sunflowers, pineapples, nautilus shells). Not that it's in the same vein as anything else of much relevance right now. See also: Pi day.
Φ = (1+√5)/2
I had my own "Phi" day on which I attempted the construction of Pythagoras' figure using stumps and logs. I built four of five sides and then I got too lazy to continue. I don't like four very much...it's kind of an unpleasant number. This is what I've been doing instead of homework. And to think, a year ago I'd have actually made myself finish, when it probably matters even less than anything else that has happened this fucking week!
On the bright side, I've warmed up to statistics and probability. And photographs. And almost even numbers (almost). And I keep wondering if there's a time quantum, but that's not the kind of thing you just ask someone. Who would you ask, "Who killed the goddamn Cat?!" On the bright side, if I tried to walk directly at this wall several trillion times, I'd eventually just go through it. Or on water.
My rat is still alive. I hope it's ok that I tell you that even though I do not look at him right now. Gus became very sick monday night...my mother and I thought he was going to die. I couldn't sleep. So it goes. I think the Doxy has been helping. I hope the Doxy has been helping. This is so much different when it hits so close to home. If last year I learned how much I want to know, then this I've learned how much I don't know, and, to a vastly lesser degree, how much I do know. Then perhaps another of my aspirations has been fulfilled: I nearly know what it means to lie to myself and I nearly know how to avoid it. Nearly.
Five weeks to point the camera at the television. And I have piles of old photographs.
"Do I dare/Disturb the universe? In a minute there is time/For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse./For I have known them all already, known them all..." -Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.
Sometimes I really think I have. But I can't help but wonder: who is she? And then it's time to do it all over again. And then it's time to superimpose more lies and more meaningless perversion onto innocent people. And now I'm really just too tired to continue to ramble in here. I started writing without anything of importance to say, and here I finish without anything of importance to say. I would appreciate it if you stopped reading and abstained from mentally revisiting this entry.
-Michael Doyle