Life Sucks.
Well it seems to me that whenever I get depressed, this god forsaken thing gives me something to do to help pass the time until life gets a little better. So, where to begin... I am lonely. There have been so many people in my past who cared about me, but I always mess it up. I am growing weary of the same trends. It has occurred to me that my problem is emotion. I view it too much like a variable in some equation. Too often I refuse to do the entire problem and just skip to where I want to be. I am never level. When something I see as bad happens I get depressed and when something good happens I am happy. It is always one or the other and my mood in between events is completely dependant on the last one. Another problem is my memory is not accurate. I can never remember how I felt at a certain time. This forces me to live in the now, and to disregard any future planning, or past memories. Yea, I am pretty screwed up. I just with there was an emo-meter. Something that could tell me what I am feeling, and exactaly how powerful it is. I hate being so unsure of myself. I don't trust anyone really, and I am realizing now, that I can't even trust myself.