what does it meeeaaaannnnnn???
I just woke up from a very strange dream. Writing it down to remember it.
I was living in some slummy apartment and all of a sudden I have a newborn baby. All I remember is missing my period (in real life it is several days late) but I don't remember being pregnant or actually giving birth to the child, coming home, or anything. All of a sudden there is a baby boy on my bed, crying. He seems to be mad at me. I don't know his name and feel ashamed that I can't feel more kinship for him. Someone has written on the mirror "MAZ (MAZIEL}" which I am told is his name, unfortunately. I am so overwhelmed and confused by all this but I pick him up and hold him to my left breast until he stops crying and starts sucking. I could feel the milk coming out of my nipple (I've always wondered what it's like) and felt soothed that I had some part in the situation now.
Maz was kind of wild. I put him down and he knew how to crawl instantly. He broke things and climbed up chairs, fell off them, cried when he hit his head, cried and cried and cried. When my mother (who wasn't really my mother) picked him up he went quiet.
The strangest thing that happened was Maz fell into a bottle of red nail polish and got stuck. There were three bottles on the table and he pushed his way into one. I threw all of them against the floor and he fell out of one, unharmed and sort of pleased with himself. I clean him off and carry him around helplessly on my hip.
So thennnnn it's my birthday (which was on Sunday actually, happy birthday to me, I got a new digital camera, just you wait...) and I leave the house so people can set up for the party. I go to the park and John Mayer is performing, unfortunately, and he's rapping while twitching on the ground. He walks past me and stands in front of me until I get out of my chair for him. I laugh in his face and walk home.
My roommate Katie calls me and says "Um, I thought there would be more people here? If you're not here soon I'm leaving." and I yelled at her, "THE PARTY HASN'T STARTED YET, OKAY???"
I get there and it appears that my apartment has burned but people are still partying in it. Some guy in a trendy hoodie and White Socks hat is doing huge lines of coke off a suitcase and asks me if I want some. People are passing around joints and the room smells like it caught fire from the amount of alcohol in the air. Everyone is trashed and Maz is crying. People tell me, "Babies can die in fires, you know! You should be more careful!!"
Overall, a very confusing dream. And now that I've written it out, I don't have time to shower before work, but I do have time to eat my delicious salad which was more important anyway. It's chilly outside. The sun is turning everything gold and there's a bird outside my window singing something sweet. Someone's hammering down the street and it sounds like big foot steps. I am in my element and I am glad to be alive.
I was living in some slummy apartment and all of a sudden I have a newborn baby. All I remember is missing my period (in real life it is several days late) but I don't remember being pregnant or actually giving birth to the child, coming home, or anything. All of a sudden there is a baby boy on my bed, crying. He seems to be mad at me. I don't know his name and feel ashamed that I can't feel more kinship for him. Someone has written on the mirror "MAZ (MAZIEL}" which I am told is his name, unfortunately. I am so overwhelmed and confused by all this but I pick him up and hold him to my left breast until he stops crying and starts sucking. I could feel the milk coming out of my nipple (I've always wondered what it's like) and felt soothed that I had some part in the situation now.
Maz was kind of wild. I put him down and he knew how to crawl instantly. He broke things and climbed up chairs, fell off them, cried when he hit his head, cried and cried and cried. When my mother (who wasn't really my mother) picked him up he went quiet.
The strangest thing that happened was Maz fell into a bottle of red nail polish and got stuck. There were three bottles on the table and he pushed his way into one. I threw all of them against the floor and he fell out of one, unharmed and sort of pleased with himself. I clean him off and carry him around helplessly on my hip.
So thennnnn it's my birthday (which was on Sunday actually, happy birthday to me, I got a new digital camera, just you wait...) and I leave the house so people can set up for the party. I go to the park and John Mayer is performing, unfortunately, and he's rapping while twitching on the ground. He walks past me and stands in front of me until I get out of my chair for him. I laugh in his face and walk home.
My roommate Katie calls me and says "Um, I thought there would be more people here? If you're not here soon I'm leaving." and I yelled at her, "THE PARTY HASN'T STARTED YET, OKAY???"
I get there and it appears that my apartment has burned but people are still partying in it. Some guy in a trendy hoodie and White Socks hat is doing huge lines of coke off a suitcase and asks me if I want some. People are passing around joints and the room smells like it caught fire from the amount of alcohol in the air. Everyone is trashed and Maz is crying. People tell me, "Babies can die in fires, you know! You should be more careful!!"
Overall, a very confusing dream. And now that I've written it out, I don't have time to shower before work, but I do have time to eat my delicious salad which was more important anyway. It's chilly outside. The sun is turning everything gold and there's a bird outside my window singing something sweet. Someone's hammering down the street and it sounds like big foot steps. I am in my element and I am glad to be alive.