Title: What Hurts the Most ( Was Being So Close)
Author: helsinkibaby
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/JJ
Notes: for the comment_fic second chances challenge. Prompt Criminal Minds, Hotch/ or + anyone, he has plenty of regrets but only one thing that he would do differently if given the chance.
It's a morning like any other when Hotch wakes up. Needing no alarm, he wakes at the exact right time, years of practice means he doesn't disturb the slumber of the woman sleeping beside him. Her chest rises and falls steadily, her blonde hair spills across the pillow and he takes a moment to admire her beauty.
Except the beauty he's sleeping beside is not Haley, not his soon to be ex-wife.
He slips out of bed quietly, finds his clothes and dresses silently. He doesn't look back as he closes the door behind him and heads to a prison to interview a serial killer with Reid.
His mind in turmoil, they end up in a locked room stand off with said killer and it's Reid who saves the day, talks their way out of a fight that Hotch had been spoiling for.
The next time he sees JJ is that night. They're the last two in the office, just like the previous night, and she appears at his door, arms crossed over her chest. Her face is inscrutable, her eyes another story entirely - they are filled with pain.
"Reid told me what you did...what you were like. Guess that's the effect I have on you, huh?"
He doesn't speak.
Can't speak, no matter how much he wants to, how much he has to say.
She shakes her head, smiles sadly. "Goodnight, Hotch."
He watched as she walks away and in the days and weeks to come, he thinks of that night often, especially after she introduces Will to the team.
When she has Henry, when she marries him, he tries not to think about it but every so often, he does.
He has plenty of regrets in his life but that night in his office is the one thing he would do differently if he had the chance.
He wouldn't let her walk away.