BIRTHDAY SEQUENCE PART 2
Yesterday was missdeviant's birthday, which means that today is hellopoe's birthday!
BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SECOND SELF INSIDE MY HEAD! SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU ARE A FALSE BEING I CREATED TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO!
In order to more fully celebrate the birthday of the bottle of wine to my pot of coffee, let's have some really stupid stories.
1. It's true that Sam and Dean have trouble keeping up with some aspects of pop culture, but TMZ airs on network television and even their calibre of motel sometimes has basic cable, so he's seen American Pie--caught the unedited version on Comedy Central at like 2 in the morning. So it's not really his fault, he reasons. The diner had delicious pie, the diner sold whole pies, Dean bought an apple pie and brought it back to the Apache Row Motor Court, and now Sam's out romancing the county microfilm collection and Dean's eyeing his apple pie with dirty, dirty intent.
He gives Sam a call. Sam answers like he's trying to pretend, for the benefit of a librarian, that he's not on his phone.
"What's uuuuuuuuuuuuuup," Dean says, like that Budweiser ad from 10 years ago, just to be a jerk.
"Research!" Sam says quietly and tersely. "Go away!"
"I'm right here, little brother," Dean says jovially. "Sittin' right here with a beer and my pie! PIE! Doin' some research too! RESEARCH AND PIE!"
"Goddammit, Dean!" says Sam. "What do you want?"
He sounds funny when he's mad and trying to be quiet.
"Just wondered how it was going!" Dean chirps. "You makin' progress?"
"I'd be a lot more productive if you'd quit calling, asshat."
"So how much longer, you think? Asshat wants to KNOW!"
"I don't know. At least an hour. Two hours. Maybe I'm never coming back. The librarian's hot and I'm thinking about making some trouble so she punishes me," says Sam, not bothering to keep his voice so quiet anymore.
"Uh," says Dean. "Okay! Have fun with Miss Marple. See ya."
He hangs up on Sam before he has time to protest.
THEN DEAN FUCKS THE PIE, AND THROWS IT AWAY IN THE MOTEL DUMPSTER, AND WHEN SAM COMES BACK WITH A "DUE 07/23/08" STAMP ON HIS NECK HE ASKS WHERE THE PIE IS.
"I ate it!" says Dean. "THE WHOLE THING."
2. Chace wakes up and immediately knows something is very, very wrong. For starters, his vision is all wonky: he is sort of looking in two directions simultaneously. Also, his back itches, and it feels very long. Also, he tries to crack his knuckles and can't, because they're hooves, and he has a tail, and when he tries to sit up he ends up rolling awkwardly to the floor and struggling to get to all four feet.
Chace Crawford has turned into a horse. A lovely red one.
BLAH BLAH BLAH TRIES TO CALL SOMEONE WITH HIS HOOVES
I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, BB!
BIRTHDAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SECOND SELF INSIDE MY HEAD! SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU ARE A FALSE BEING I CREATED TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO!
In order to more fully celebrate the birthday of the bottle of wine to my pot of coffee, let's have some really stupid stories.
1. It's true that Sam and Dean have trouble keeping up with some aspects of pop culture, but TMZ airs on network television and even their calibre of motel sometimes has basic cable, so he's seen American Pie--caught the unedited version on Comedy Central at like 2 in the morning. So it's not really his fault, he reasons. The diner had delicious pie, the diner sold whole pies, Dean bought an apple pie and brought it back to the Apache Row Motor Court, and now Sam's out romancing the county microfilm collection and Dean's eyeing his apple pie with dirty, dirty intent.
He gives Sam a call. Sam answers like he's trying to pretend, for the benefit of a librarian, that he's not on his phone.
"What's uuuuuuuuuuuuuup," Dean says, like that Budweiser ad from 10 years ago, just to be a jerk.
"Research!" Sam says quietly and tersely. "Go away!"
"I'm right here, little brother," Dean says jovially. "Sittin' right here with a beer and my pie! PIE! Doin' some research too! RESEARCH AND PIE!"
"Goddammit, Dean!" says Sam. "What do you want?"
He sounds funny when he's mad and trying to be quiet.
"Just wondered how it was going!" Dean chirps. "You makin' progress?"
"I'd be a lot more productive if you'd quit calling, asshat."
"So how much longer, you think? Asshat wants to KNOW!"
"I don't know. At least an hour. Two hours. Maybe I'm never coming back. The librarian's hot and I'm thinking about making some trouble so she punishes me," says Sam, not bothering to keep his voice so quiet anymore.
"Uh," says Dean. "Okay! Have fun with Miss Marple. See ya."
He hangs up on Sam before he has time to protest.
THEN DEAN FUCKS THE PIE, AND THROWS IT AWAY IN THE MOTEL DUMPSTER, AND WHEN SAM COMES BACK WITH A "DUE 07/23/08" STAMP ON HIS NECK HE ASKS WHERE THE PIE IS.
"I ate it!" says Dean. "THE WHOLE THING."
2. Chace wakes up and immediately knows something is very, very wrong. For starters, his vision is all wonky: he is sort of looking in two directions simultaneously. Also, his back itches, and it feels very long. Also, he tries to crack his knuckles and can't, because they're hooves, and he has a tail, and when he tries to sit up he ends up rolling awkwardly to the floor and struggling to get to all four feet.
Chace Crawford has turned into a horse. A lovely red one.
BLAH BLAH BLAH TRIES TO CALL SOMEONE WITH HIS HOOVES
I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, BB!