I still recall the taste of your tears echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
I'm all moved into my new apartment here in LA. Never thought I'd come out here since it's mostly actors and wanna bes, but a scholarship to law school wasn't something I could turn down. Mama says she don't buy my reasons for coming out here. She reminded me I had perfectly good offers to other law schools, full rides there too, but that I chose to move out to the city of sin. Course I had to remind her the city of sin is Las Vegas and she countered that Vegas was only a stone's throw away from LA. Never could win an argument with Mama.
Thing is maybe she's right. Maybe the reason I chose LA had very little to do with the education UCLA could provide me in their law department. Maybe it had everything to do with where Brit is living. Keep telling myself and anyone that asks that I'm over her. That whatever was there died when she left me for someone else. No one believes it and to be honest neither do I. She's been under my skin since the day we first fell in love. Took my heart when she left me and maybe I need to go to LA to get it back. I'm having no luck moving on without it.
Not that I haven't tried. There have been girls, but no one compares to Britney. It's not right to hold them up to her since she was the first love, but isn't that the way it goes? The one who first wins your heart is the standard everyone else is measured by? I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm more wanna be poet than law student. Hell, could turn out LA is the right city for me after all.
It's not like I came out here to win her back. I just need closure. Need to put my past away so I can focus on the future. It's been a couple years now and I still wake up reaching for her. Still expect to see her in the kitchen wearing one of my shirts while she makes us breakfast and yells at me for sleeping in on such a pretty day. Guess I still expect her to be my girl and that isn't the case no more. So, I need to track her down. See her once last time and get this taken care of. It's not healthy to be hanging on this long after a break up.
I've focused all that restless energy into my studies. Made sure I was the top of my class. Maybe I should thank Britney for that. She broke my heart and gave me nothing to do but to cling to my studies. Mama is worried. Thinks this is a mistake and I should stay in Georgia. Attend one of the schools down here and cut ties with Britney's family once and for all. It's not like I talk to them much. Hell, I hadn't talked to them in nearly a year before I called to make sure she was still in LA before I accepted the offer UCLA sent me.
Fine. Mama's right. UCLA has nothing to do with why I'm heading to LA, but that doesn't mean I'm going to waste the chance they are giving me. I'll make her proud. Just need to work some matters of the heart out while I'm here.
Thing is maybe she's right. Maybe the reason I chose LA had very little to do with the education UCLA could provide me in their law department. Maybe it had everything to do with where Brit is living. Keep telling myself and anyone that asks that I'm over her. That whatever was there died when she left me for someone else. No one believes it and to be honest neither do I. She's been under my skin since the day we first fell in love. Took my heart when she left me and maybe I need to go to LA to get it back. I'm having no luck moving on without it.
Not that I haven't tried. There have been girls, but no one compares to Britney. It's not right to hold them up to her since she was the first love, but isn't that the way it goes? The one who first wins your heart is the standard everyone else is measured by? I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm more wanna be poet than law student. Hell, could turn out LA is the right city for me after all.
It's not like I came out here to win her back. I just need closure. Need to put my past away so I can focus on the future. It's been a couple years now and I still wake up reaching for her. Still expect to see her in the kitchen wearing one of my shirts while she makes us breakfast and yells at me for sleeping in on such a pretty day. Guess I still expect her to be my girl and that isn't the case no more. So, I need to track her down. See her once last time and get this taken care of. It's not healthy to be hanging on this long after a break up.
I've focused all that restless energy into my studies. Made sure I was the top of my class. Maybe I should thank Britney for that. She broke my heart and gave me nothing to do but to cling to my studies. Mama is worried. Thinks this is a mistake and I should stay in Georgia. Attend one of the schools down here and cut ties with Britney's family once and for all. It's not like I talk to them much. Hell, I hadn't talked to them in nearly a year before I called to make sure she was still in LA before I accepted the offer UCLA sent me.
Fine. Mama's right. UCLA has nothing to do with why I'm heading to LA, but that doesn't mean I'm going to waste the chance they are giving me. I'll make her proud. Just need to work some matters of the heart out while I'm here.