I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well

[womansized]

Buffy and I didn't really do much slaying after our conversation. It wasn't really a surprise considering all the thing I finally knew about. I couldn't believe it. Faith was dead, Spike was back, Angel had gone evil again. Okay. So that part I could believe because it was us. The part that was unbelievable to me was that my big sister couldn't

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[womansized]

I frowned again because there he went assuming that just because Buffy didn't like something that I didn't either. We might be sister but we weren't attached at the brain! Or something! I knew that Spike was in love with my sister so she was his number one priority but I had thought we were friends. Maybe he was right. Wasn't I always wrong? Just the stupid kid? The stupid and currently kind of drunk kid.

And I couldn't believe that Andrew knew Spike was back and never even said anything. Then again I guess that was different now because of how Illyria had turned back time. When I was bored and staying with Giles I'd done alot of research on Illyria. Not that there was alot to be found but there were a few things here and there. I couldn't wait to meet her. Was she still around? How much had things changed the second time around? Was I different? Was I still the same? What had that other life been like for me? Okay. Now I was just confusing myself.

"Well, where are you gonna go?" I asked him stubbornly already knowing what the answer was if he said that he wouldn't be around much longer. He and Buffy were exactly alike. They deserved eachother. Come back to me only to be desperate to leave again. I might as well just sell myself to a convent or something.

"And Buffy was not getting along fine in Europe. At least this time anyway. The Immortal smelled funny, he wears way too much cologne. And he slicks back his hair. I thought he was stupid." I offered with a shrug as if Spike even wanted to hear any of it. I didn't care what he wanted to hear.

[bloody_willy]

Felt the beginnings of a smirk tugging at the corners of my cheeks. Had to fight it back though, else she'd go on a rant about taking her seriously and what not.

She and Buffy were two of a kind.

"Immortal is a right ponce you have that right."

Where was I going to go, now that was a buggar of a question. Easy answer would be straight to hell. Been close enough to that during my ghostly days. Insane maybe? Buggared in the head, well fairly sure most everyone already knew that. Least I could admit it.

To myself at least.

"Most likely I'm not going anywhere." I'll flit about in the background not doing a bloody bit of good until Evil Incorporated gets its plan together. Once Alyx makes her move me and Angel will be there to give that smooth arse of hers a good kicking.

"Got nothing but time to kill niblet. Soul of mine won't let me quit the fight, doesn't matter if Angel and your sister want me off to Tim-fuckin-bucktu." Life had been simpler when I could just run off to wherever when the end was nigh. "Got any other burnin questions then?"

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"No." I said with a slight pout when he asked me if I had any other burning questions. "Well, not right now. I'm sure I'll think of some." I told him in that I promise you I'll think of some and maybe just to annoy you voice. I was pretty sure Spike was used to that by now. Me and my never ending stream of questions. Maybe that was why he'd stayed away so long, tired of answering them all. Well....too bad! He had to answer them because no one else ever did.

"I haven't seen Angel yet since I got back. Is his hair still stupid?" I asked, knowing full well what Spike's answer would be. He hated Angel. Most of the stories he'd told me when I was younger centered around how much Angel sucked. I was never a big Angel fan from the beginning because he was mean to my sister and made her cry alot. But Spike hadn't exactly been really nice to her either. Just way nicer than Angel. I liked him better. I hoped Buffy would pick him in the end. Spike that is.

She was really dumb sometimes though, so she'd probably pick Angel and then he'd go evil again and kill some more people. Like Faith. I didn't even wanna think about Faith and her dying and her...relationship with my sister. It made total sense, except the part where Buffy wasn't gay. At least I didnt' think she was.

But I didn't think I was either until I made out with my friend Janice that one time. We were just going to practice kissing and I really liked it. Not that anyone ever had to know that. Oh my God, was it like genetic? Maybe I was really gay too!