Heather reporting for Justin! <3 xoxoxo
I understand that quite a number of the individuals who have met and befriended me over the past few years have mixed feelings about the way I have behaved. Many of them have met me through live journal. Many of them I have thoroughly alienated, offended and ultimately lost their friendship. I have many regrets. It took emerging involuntarily from such an egotistical cloud of drugs and disappointment for me to grasp the gravity of the situtation. I just want to offer everyone a huge apology. I value the fact that over 80 people have decided I am still worthy of their interest so much more than words can express. In particular I want to apologize to my friends with the LJ names...yourcure (Jessica), terpsichore (Kim), seeminglytragic (Vanessa), akaliquidsnake (Mark), liquidimage (Mike), orgasmiccherry (Angelina), sunfairyx (Hekela), foxyblues83 (Julia), fragilehalo (Chloe), midwintereyes (Cory), gumboot (Genvieve), sirensandstorms (Carrie/no longer with me), chikinsmak (Karin), thismagicknife (Katy), canjellyica, aily, opheliarain, randromandroid23, slicknik, thrumyeyez, xnoregretsx, emmpancakes, grumpy, imyourcocaine80....the list of people I have hurt and pushed away goes on and on. I apologize to you all from the bottom of my captive, convicted heart. This is the first time I have been sober since I was 15. I will be 26 in less than 4 months. I realize how I have acted. I have been a bad boy! Now might be my only chance to grow up. I am really sorry for my behavior. All I can say is that I will do my best to earn and deserve your trust again. I'll see you guys and gals in a month. Take utmost care. Caio
A reflection:
"Turn on, tune in and drop out"
Give all of yourself
Just to see it all go to hell
Nothing can prepare you or scare you away
From what you believe is your sanctuary
Wear a cool Crucifix
Keep a deep gloss on your lips
Don't forget to kiss the hand of your muse
Maybe she'll loan you the keys to your dreams
And you can lock yourself inside
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind your tv screen
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where illusions breed
Pound on the walls
Until your agent calls
Book you a few boogie nights on a lighted stage
You live for this shit can't get enough of it
Yield to the script
Set guarded inhibitions adrift
In love with the warmth of this ruse
Captivated by greed splurge let your wallet bleed
Whatever it takes to stay high
Low, come
stop, go
It's what you are blind to
Not what you know
Clear, eye
Dry, ear
Oblivious and unexposed
To the sound you hear
Carried with the breeze
Landing in the toilets you're supposed to clean
On your knees
On your dirty knees!
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind your tv screen
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where the hopeful drown
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind the scenes
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where no one can hear you scream
A reflection:
"Turn on, tune in and drop out"
Give all of yourself
Just to see it all go to hell
Nothing can prepare you or scare you away
From what you believe is your sanctuary
Wear a cool Crucifix
Keep a deep gloss on your lips
Don't forget to kiss the hand of your muse
Maybe she'll loan you the keys to your dreams
And you can lock yourself inside
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind your tv screen
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where illusions breed
Pound on the walls
Until your agent calls
Book you a few boogie nights on a lighted stage
You live for this shit can't get enough of it
Yield to the script
Set guarded inhibitions adrift
In love with the warmth of this ruse
Captivated by greed splurge let your wallet bleed
Whatever it takes to stay high
Low, come
stop, go
It's what you are blind to
Not what you know
Clear, eye
Dry, ear
Oblivious and unexposed
To the sound you hear
Carried with the breeze
Landing in the toilets you're supposed to clean
On your knees
On your dirty knees!
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind your tv screen
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where the hopeful drown
Turn on tune in and drop out
Behind the scenes
Things aren't what they seem
Vivid technicolor surround sound
Where no one can hear you scream