(no subject)

[helpmefrommyslf]

i fight, negotiate, beg, plead with the black cloud that threatens to take over my sky. always these dates...birthdays, days that were spent together at concerts, on drives, always together. there is the anniversary of their marriage, the day she was murdered, the day she was buried, the day he was convicted....each day that reminds me of her brilliant light, her wonderful friendship, her beautiful face that i was lucky enough to see for ten long years. i always knew that it was forever, never thought it would be taken from me. these days knock the wind out of me, a shock to the system and i feel dispair and i feel so completely alone. it seems like a lifetime of missing her and what we were but also a disbelief that it was that long ago. two years ago tomorrow that she was murdered, i can never be the same.

i could only observe where the trouble starts
where does it end?
i cannot be cured
before it ends
i know life would be different if i held on (held on)
i know i could be something if i held on
gave her love away
put it in my pocket when it should've been framed
oh, it lost its shine
gotta get this out of my head
out of my brain
how could it end,
end like this?
how could it end?