an update?!!!?
I know, I know...i dont have anything on here for the past few days/weeks...and i r sorry for that. :(
Okie doke, so what have I been up to? Well for starters, I got really sick from Taco Hell! Bastards! I was in bed for a few days cuz it was so bad. Then my brother mixed up my meds and sent me to the hospital. I felt bad for him bc he felt soooo bad. But i know it was an accident...at least i hope it was. hmmm...jk!
Oh! and my brother Carlos got married! Im so happy for him. He really did find someone who is JUST like him. She's great. I know for a fact that Carlos and Sieamata will be married for a long time.
Speaking of that sort, Jeff called me the other night. He was just calling to see how me and Alanna were at first. But the deal is, I know Jeff better than I know myself. And he knows more about me than anyone. So i can tell when he has something on his mind or if somethings wrong. So i kept asking him if everything was okay. Boy was that a mistake! He told me some really personal stuff about how he felt for me... I really didnt know what to say. Kinda shocked me to say the truth. Well he knows that im more of an action person...i really dont believe what ppl say, its what they do that makes the notion to me. So he told me that i didnt have to say a word...that he'll prove it to me. So...meh...i guess ill let him do his thing. I think he said that he was gonna start coming down here every 2 weeks to see me. Meh..we'll see
Okay, so i know the worse job to have in the world during Christmas...RETAIL!!! OMG!!! Its bad enough that i hate Christmas, but then i have to deal with ppl who are morons! OMG! It was hell at the store today! I think i took 5 Advil with in the 5 hrs that i worked today. God im such a Grinch! I really am. I cant wait for the Holidays to be over with. Its to much hype and drama. And dont forget the fact that i get sick every fucking day its cold. My immune system is shot to hell. so that means that i get really sick durring the holidays. I just hope this year i dont get as sick as i did last year. That was no fun.
On the bright side, i think this year i was a really good person. I did what i could for others, helped, gave, and i was just a good person. Im really happy with myself for the way ive turned out. How many ppl can actually look at themselves in the mirror and like what they see? I dont know to many ppl. So that makes me really happy that im one of the few.
Im looking at this drum set that i really want to get. I just adore it! And it will be mine!!!
One of my friends pointed out today that in 6 months, Ill be 20! Ahhh!! I go through this crisis every birthday. I really dont like them. Every birthday just brings me closer to death...so i just really dont like them. And everyone always makes sucha big deal over my birthdays. Really! So many ppl spend so much money on me and throw me this big party. I think its stupid. But i go, i smile, and i pretend im happy. Bleh....
Havent seen Lee in awhile...kinda wonder how he's doing. I tend to worry about him sometimes. Dunno why either. I know he's more than capable to tend to himself. Meh...I guess thats just my nature. To worry about ppl.
It was real nice to stand outside and just breathe in the cold air. I really dont get much time to myself, so to stand outside and just take in the awesomeness of being alone and it being quiet, was more than i could ask for. Im really a sucker for beautiful weather. What can i say? its "beyond the gray sky.."
I smoked a pack of cigg.'s today. Anyone who knows me, knows that i dont smoke often. Only on those rare occasions like: when im really mad, upset, frustrated, or sometimes after sex ;) lol...other than that...i really dont smoke. So im just wondering what my proublem is. I think its what some guy told me today. Some jerk of told me that im gonna end up a lonely, jaded, shrew if i dont change my outlook on dating. In a way he's right. Ive met some really awesome ppl that are just amazing...and i didnt give them a chance just bc of my own fear and worries. And this got me thiking of Jeff...Yes yes...once again...it always comes back to Jeff. I think thats the problem. He's my problem. I know that he loves me and wants to try again...but i just dont want to take the chance of getting let down again. And i shouldnt have to. Oh, and this was another good crack that jerk off told me, " You know all the sad love songs? Well they were either made for you or by you!" WTF?! However, i must admit...that was a good one. Maybe they're all right. Infact, i know that they're all right.
well well, so it seems that im all out of words...sorry that this one was so long, but hey, i had to make up for not updating in such a long time...meh!!
well i hope everyone has a really good christmas...Jeff will be down...so i think mine will be good
ciao
sweetness
Okie doke, so what have I been up to? Well for starters, I got really sick from Taco Hell! Bastards! I was in bed for a few days cuz it was so bad. Then my brother mixed up my meds and sent me to the hospital. I felt bad for him bc he felt soooo bad. But i know it was an accident...at least i hope it was. hmmm...jk!
Oh! and my brother Carlos got married! Im so happy for him. He really did find someone who is JUST like him. She's great. I know for a fact that Carlos and Sieamata will be married for a long time.
Speaking of that sort, Jeff called me the other night. He was just calling to see how me and Alanna were at first. But the deal is, I know Jeff better than I know myself. And he knows more about me than anyone. So i can tell when he has something on his mind or if somethings wrong. So i kept asking him if everything was okay. Boy was that a mistake! He told me some really personal stuff about how he felt for me... I really didnt know what to say. Kinda shocked me to say the truth. Well he knows that im more of an action person...i really dont believe what ppl say, its what they do that makes the notion to me. So he told me that i didnt have to say a word...that he'll prove it to me. So...meh...i guess ill let him do his thing. I think he said that he was gonna start coming down here every 2 weeks to see me. Meh..we'll see
Okay, so i know the worse job to have in the world during Christmas...RETAIL!!! OMG!!! Its bad enough that i hate Christmas, but then i have to deal with ppl who are morons! OMG! It was hell at the store today! I think i took 5 Advil with in the 5 hrs that i worked today. God im such a Grinch! I really am. I cant wait for the Holidays to be over with. Its to much hype and drama. And dont forget the fact that i get sick every fucking day its cold. My immune system is shot to hell. so that means that i get really sick durring the holidays. I just hope this year i dont get as sick as i did last year. That was no fun.
On the bright side, i think this year i was a really good person. I did what i could for others, helped, gave, and i was just a good person. Im really happy with myself for the way ive turned out. How many ppl can actually look at themselves in the mirror and like what they see? I dont know to many ppl. So that makes me really happy that im one of the few.
Im looking at this drum set that i really want to get. I just adore it! And it will be mine!!!
One of my friends pointed out today that in 6 months, Ill be 20! Ahhh!! I go through this crisis every birthday. I really dont like them. Every birthday just brings me closer to death...so i just really dont like them. And everyone always makes sucha big deal over my birthdays. Really! So many ppl spend so much money on me and throw me this big party. I think its stupid. But i go, i smile, and i pretend im happy. Bleh....
Havent seen Lee in awhile...kinda wonder how he's doing. I tend to worry about him sometimes. Dunno why either. I know he's more than capable to tend to himself. Meh...I guess thats just my nature. To worry about ppl.
It was real nice to stand outside and just breathe in the cold air. I really dont get much time to myself, so to stand outside and just take in the awesomeness of being alone and it being quiet, was more than i could ask for. Im really a sucker for beautiful weather. What can i say? its "beyond the gray sky.."
I smoked a pack of cigg.'s today. Anyone who knows me, knows that i dont smoke often. Only on those rare occasions like: when im really mad, upset, frustrated, or sometimes after sex ;) lol...other than that...i really dont smoke. So im just wondering what my proublem is. I think its what some guy told me today. Some jerk of told me that im gonna end up a lonely, jaded, shrew if i dont change my outlook on dating. In a way he's right. Ive met some really awesome ppl that are just amazing...and i didnt give them a chance just bc of my own fear and worries. And this got me thiking of Jeff...Yes yes...once again...it always comes back to Jeff. I think thats the problem. He's my problem. I know that he loves me and wants to try again...but i just dont want to take the chance of getting let down again. And i shouldnt have to. Oh, and this was another good crack that jerk off told me, " You know all the sad love songs? Well they were either made for you or by you!" WTF?! However, i must admit...that was a good one. Maybe they're all right. Infact, i know that they're all right.
well well, so it seems that im all out of words...sorry that this one was so long, but hey, i had to make up for not updating in such a long time...meh!!
well i hope everyone has a really good christmas...Jeff will be down...so i think mine will be good
ciao
sweetness