Late Introductions
I've been a member of this group for quite sometime. I've been abused and I joined this group in an attempt not only to help my friends that have been abused cope with it, but also to get more insight into how to help my now ex-boyfriend cope with me. There's not much to my story in the sense that I'd rather not elaborate at the moment as to my own ( Read more... )
You're well on your way by acknowledging the damage done to your growth. It's not an easy or quick thing to fix, but it can be done. The most important thing is that you love yourself unconditionally and realize you are worth the efforts you need to heal.
You say you thought you healed yourself. Did you get there on your own, or did you have counselling? Have you been reading inspirational or self healing material? All of us need help getting there. It's not something we can do on our own. Trust me...I've lived a long time thinking I was okay, that I had come to grips with my childhood and other crap. Turns out I really hadn't - all I did was kind of bury the triggers. They are still there, and probably always will be, but I'm working now on recognizing the triggers and learning techniques to work around them and to build basic self esteem and a healthy positive outlook. I finally realized that I can't do this alone. My partner has told me that for decades, but I always thought I was special and smart and not so damaged. I'm glad I finally got REALLY smart and acknowledged that I'm in over my head and need a helping hand to help myself.
Don't fixate on the relationship or things you crave. Work on loving and healing yourself as best you can, knowing it's an ongoing process, and as you get more confident and stronger the other things will fall into place for you. You still have a wonderful life stretching out ahead of you. Don't despair. Normal is kind of an illusion, but you certainly can get to a place of better happiness and satisfaction. It does take work and growth though. Tackle it with positive enthusiasm and self-love. Good luck!
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