Gimme me a pen, gimme paper and I'm all set.
Disclaimer: if any of this (beside the plot) was mine, I wouldn’t let those pretty boys come out to play.
A/N: not my first Gossip girl fic and certainly not my first fic but I found writing my first C/B story rather challenging. I hope I made them justice and that you will enjoy this little piece of silly fun.
Topamhalliwell89 , the best co-conspirator anyone could have. Inhobbok, lovely one.
Wedding bells.
Blair Waldorf’s wedding day had been a chaos of major proportion. A disaster waiting to happen, the press had called it. Gossip girl had a special alumni post to celebrate the event, but as the day went by and the problems kept on growing like weed in what was supposed to be a castle garden, the post had become a several pages in her site. However, Blair remained clueless throughout the day or rather she had been kept in the dark and for obvious reasons. It had been hard, it had involved a lot of scheming, bribery and destruction of several proofs but when Blair took off for her honey moon in the south of France she was still unaware of the real nightmare that her wedding had been.
It started with a very early phone call.
“I’m marrying Chuck Bass today,” Blair had breathed in the phone to a still very much asleep Serena. “I’m marrying a guy that I once called the motherchucker!” she added her breathing a little more laborious.
“Blair, sweetie, it is clearly too late for and any second thoughts you may have,” her best friend said slowly coming to it.
“Motherchucker!” Blair cried bordering on hysteria.
“Blair, it’s 5 A.M and you have a long day ahead of you. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“As if sleeping was an option. I’m marrying Chuck freaking Bass, I shall never sleep again,” she declared.
“You said yes, you have to assume the consequences. Now let me sleep or your maid of honor will look like a scarecrow at the wedding and you really don’t want that.”
The line had been disconnected then but Serena didn’t go back to sleep. It’s not that she didn’t want to or that she couldn’t find sleep anymore, it had more to do with her step sister barging into her room half an hour later, eyes wide with fear and despair, tear staining her delicate cheeks.
“I’m screwed!” In a flash Serena was on her feet. “The dress… it’s gone,” Jenny Humphrey, designer not so extraordinaire anymore, elaborated.
“What?!”
“I looked everywhere; I spent the last two hours looking all over New York for that damned dress but it’s nowhere,” she said pacing back and forth in front of Serena, waving her hands around and talking way too loudly for the early hour.
“Jenny,” Serena grabbed her by the arms rather forcefully and made her look at her, “it’s a dress. An unanimated object cannot disappear out of thin air.”
“I know that,” Jenny growled with a glare.
“Then what the hell happened? You were in charge of the dress and nothing else!”
“Well, excuse me for being human but I fell asleep after the ridiculously long rehearsal dinner we had last night,” Jenny said between her teeth. Serena released her and she passed a hand through her tangled hair. “I woke up an hour ago and it wasn’t hung on the door anymore.”
“Please tell me you didn’t tell anyone else,” Serena pleaded.
“Of course not, I like being alive,” Jenny said with a roll of her eyes.
“Ok then, lemme take a quick shower, I’ll come with you,” the other blonde nodded.
Two hours later, the sun was finally all the way up in the sky but the two step-sisters were still dress-less. Phone calls had been made, research teams had been send out, a few very appropriate curse words had been exchanged but the dress remained lost.
“You are going to have to tell her,” Dan declared with a sigh and he almost laughed at the look of trepidation Serena and Jenny exchanged.
“Tell who what?” Chuck had appeared in the kitchen looking for coffee. He looked at the group gathered there and raised a curious eyebrow. “Who died?”
“No one yet,” Dan replied.
Chuck put down the coffee pot and turned to them, crossing his arms. “Explain.”
“I lost the bride’s dress,” Jenny said with a moan before burying her head in her hands. Eric put his arms around her shoulder, brushing a light and comforting kiss on her head.
“You didn’t lose the dress, I stole it,” Chuck said with his typical I-Rule-All smirk. Four pairs of eyes snapped to him.
“You what?” Serena and Jenny yelled.
“My curiosity was piqued,” he said with a shrug. Dan had to physically restrain Serena from jumping at him.
“Haven’t you heard it was bad luck, jerk-face?” Jenny squealed, her voice as lost as her mind.
“I’m done with this conversation. The dress is back where I took it,” he announced before pouring himself a cup of coffee and heading back to his room.
“He walked into my room in the middle of the night and stole the most important thing there was there!” Jenny shrieked. “Please, let me castrate him, I’m sure Blair won’t mind that much.”
Dan chuckled. “Come on Xena, let’s go get ready,” he grabbed his sister’s hand and they left the kitchen.
“We should take their example,” Eric addressed his sister.
“Go ahead, I have an order to cancel,” she said grabbing her iPhone.
“I didn’t know you could order dresses,” Eric teased.
“When your name is Waldorf, there are few things you can’t do,” she mumbled.
By 11 o’clock, the bride and groom’s party were all ready and waiting in the church. Serena had to face a few other issues, but compared to a missing dress, a few misplaced bouquets and a sick bartender were nothing.
“Is everything going well?” Blair asked her maid of honor as Eleanor helped her into her dress.
“Of course,” Serena replied with a too bright smile.
“The guests are almost all here,” Jenny assured . A knock at the door interrupted Blair’s next nervous inquiry.
Serena waited for Blair to be completely dressed before calling out, “Chuck, for the last time you are not allowed in here!”
The door was pushed slightly open and Dan’s head appeared causing Blair to roll her eyes. “Not Chuck,” he smiled.
“Still not good, though,” Blair said.
“And here I was about to compliment your apparel,” he shook his head.
“You should know that your opinion as little to zero importance to me,” she replied tugging on her corset.
“As always, a pleasure,” he deadpanned before turning to Serena. “A minute?”
“Sure.”
“Ugh! Where is that damn phone?” they heard Blair seethe just before they closed the door.
“Still hiding her phone?” Dan asked with a chuckle.
“I see no other option. Gossip girl is going gaga over this.”
He led her away from any prying ears. “We have a… situation,” he told her with a slight wince. Her face fell and she looked up, gathering strength.
“Hit me.”
“She’s here,” he said gravely and Serena head snapped back down.
“She’s here?” he nodded. Before he had time to add anything else, she gathered the hem of her beige gown and took off running. It took him a moment to run after her, pondering the image of Serena Van Der Woodsen running faster than light with high heels on.
When they arrived in front of the unwelcome guest’s car, they found two security guards and the rest of their friends blocking Georgina Sparks’ path.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Serena! Hi!” the brunette’s fake enthusiasm still tasted bitter in Serena’s mouth.
“Go away!” Nate said.
“Now, before either one of them sees you,” Jenny advised.
“I can’t miss my best friend’s wedding,” The Bitch mock pouted.
“She’s not allowed in,” Serena turned to one of the gigantic guards. “This is your mission for the rest of the day, you can’t let her out of your sight until the couple leaves the country!” she ordered, throwing a glare in Georgina’s direction. The security guy nodded, looking slightly confused. Rich people will be rich people, he thought wondering why this little piece of woman was causing so much distress. “Come on guys, Blair’s almost ready.”
“Are you sure it’s wise to just leave her there?” Dan asked, looking back over his shoulder to Georgina and the security guard who were staring each other down.
“Yes, it should be alright…” she stopped looking at the group of friends. “Where’s Eric?”
“He went to pick Mr. Waldorf at the airport,” Nate replied.
“That was almost two hours ago,” Serena said her eyes wide. “They should be back by now!”
A phone call later and Serena was on the edge of losing her mind.
“What do you mean stuck?” Dan asked.
“There was an accident on the highway and they’ve been stuck in traffic ever since,” Serena replied, tears now on the edge of falling. “Her father needs to be here!”
“I know,” Dan said rubbing his hands in her bare arms. “Take a deep breath, everything’s gonna be alright. Lemme take care of this, okay?” he said searching her eyes, trying to convey some comfort.
She took a shaky breath and nodded.
“Okay but please keep me updated,” she pleaded.
“’Course,” he smiled before kissing her forehead reassuringly.
She watched him run toward his car, his phone already glued to his ear and prayed to God that whatever plan he had would work. She made her way to the room where the men were getting ready. She knocked and was granted access.
“Hey sis’,” Chuck greeted her. She looked around herself noticing that they were alone. “Is Georgina still out there?” he asked adjusting his bow tie. Light pink bow tie even on his wedding day; it made Serena smile.
“How do you know about that?”
“I know all.”
“Of course. Well, the situation is under control,” she assured and he nodded. She looked at him for a long time. He was moving as efficiently and proudly as ever, humming under his breath; the image of peace. “Are you?” his eyes snapped to hers. They narrowed slightly as his lips formed a tight line.
“Is this your not so clever way of asking if I’m getting cold feet?”
“Kinda,” she shrugged refusing to look away.
“Why should I answer you?”
“Because she’s my best friend, because it may very well kill her and because you’re my brother,” she answered softly. He looked surprised for a second but quickly looked back at his bow tie.
“My feet are as warm as they’ll ever be,” he reassured her. She nodded with a small smile.
“Do you need anything?”
“Yes, I received a call a few seconds before you came in and apparently the champagne is not here yet,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “Now, I’m sure you must know that no party of mine is celebrated without bubbly.”
“Argh!” she growled exasperatedly, throwing her arms up in the air. “This wedding is cursed!” Another knock made them both look at the door and once again Jenny barged into the room.
“The playlist has been erased!” she told her urgently. “Please tell me you have another copy.”
“The what now? Oh my God!”
“Serena, hold it together, please. Little J? I have two copies saved; one in my laptop, the other in my blackberry. Which one would you like to use?”
“Oh thank God!”
“You can call me Chuck,” he smirked at the pair who rolled their eyes.
“Gimme your laptop,” Jenny waved her hand.
“I’ll go have a chat with the caterer,” Serena said with aggravation.
“You may wanna check on the bride,” Jenny called out as the taller blonde made her way to the door and Chuck perked up. “She’s fine, she just can’t find her phone,” she added.
“That’s good. Please tell me that no one beside the bridal party has come in contact with Blair,” Serena asked.
“Don’t worry, she has no idea this wedding’s in danger of causing the space continuum to explode,” Jenny assured with a grin.
“Good,” Serena giggled.
At noon, every invited guest was seated, the groom and his best men minus Eric were in the front of the church, and the bride was ready to come down the aisle.
“Serena, my father’s not here,” Blair said smiling sweetly which in Blair’s catalogue of facial expression was never good. That smile was usually preceded by threats.
“Isn’t he?” her best friend answered, her eyes glued to her phone.
“No, Serena he’s not. May I enquire as to why?”
“Uh… Oh Blair,” Serena finally looked, eyes full of apologies, “I’m sorry, your father-“
“Is ready to lead you down the aisle,” Harold Waldorf announced out of breath as he passed the church’s threshold. Serena let out a sob of relief and jumped in Dan’s surprised arms.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” she chanted for over a minute before Eric called the attention back to the ceremony.
“I think someone’s getting impatient,” he said with grin pointing at a thoroughly annoyed Chuck.
“Yes, of course, sorry,” Serena rambled. She straightened and cued the violins to begin the wedding march. As she made her way down the aisle at Dan’s arms, curiosity got the best of her. “How did you do it?” she whispered through unmoving lips.
Dan grinned. “You see, I have this high school friend that happens to have access to helicopters…” he said winking at her.
Her mouth fell open in amazement. “You can’t be serious,” she almost laughed.
“I most certainly am,” he said with his own grin and she beamed up at him.
The ceremony was a blur of sarcastic yet touching vows, tears, laughter and kisses. Before she had time to realize it Blair Waldorf had become Blair Waldorf-Bass and the wedding bells chimed brightly as the young couple made its way through the petal flowers and rice to their awaiting limousine.
As the car drove off, Jenny, Eric, Nate, Dan and Serena looked at each other and sighed together.
“Let’s hope it’ll be their last,” Eric laughed.
“Aye, aye, little brother,” Serena smiled.
Fin.
A/N: please don’t forget to review.