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helone

(Untitled)

Mar 03, 2012 19:44

I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I need someone to know. I don't know what they can do but I'm so fucking alone. I just want a hug and someone to tell me it's going to be fine. I want someone to want and love me.

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xfattyxl March 3 2012, 20:21:33 UTC

What's wrong hun?

helone March 3 2012, 21:17:54 UTC

My mam doesn't want me here anymore. She went crazy today and just said some horrible things. She made everything about her like how dare I be upset to make her look like the bad person. She doesn't believe I'll get grades/into uni and doesn't want to provide for me any longer. She said I was a mess and it must be because of drink (I hadn't touched a drop). She just wouldn't stop shouting about how selfish and horrible I am.
The worst part is this was completely random. I'd just got in and this was the first conversation. I just kept crying saying I'm sorry over and over again but she didn't stop insulting me. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and his reply was 'erm yeah. Brb food'.
I have no where to go. No job, uni offer, relatives with room to take me... It's just I've failed at everything I've been trying to do and no one wants me. If you're not 18 you can't move out without a social worker assessing the situation and my mam hides all this from my dad never mind a social worker. I do only have 5 months left

xfattyxl March 3 2012, 21:58:27 UTC

couldnt you just tell him? also was you talking to him on the comp or face to face?

xfattyxl March 4 2012, 12:54:57 UTC

Tell your dad I mean?

helone March 4 2012, 14:38:57 UTC

This time round? I think he'd just say the same 'she'll get over it and doesn't mean it' type thing. She abusive with me but just manipulating to him. I think it hurts me more than it should because I expect her to love me/be nice etc... when that's not realistic in all mother-daughter relationships. It's not like shes hitting me all the time or anything.
And to my boyfriend it was on the computer.

I think I need to get a bit of a new start. Break up and move out :)

xfattyxl March 4 2012, 15:41:53 UTC

Well if you don't see it working you should end it :)

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