Tomatoes! They complicate my life!
So I went to the London Dungeons today in cosplay and scared myself shitless.
It was all Nena's idea, though she was already regretting it when we were in the queue to go in. Russia, Canada and England are laughing at your pain, America.
So first we all met up at the Carousel by the Thames, whereupon Canada (coco_venus) and America (nenamoo) did the time warp for my amusement, and Russia (starrose17) ghosted out of fucking nowhere and scared us all shitless. Then we all went to Noodle Stop, and I swear to god their soya chicken has some kind of addictive properties. Or it might be the noodles. One of the two, because we always start our London trips there.
So after discussing the gayness of El Dorado and confusing people by pulling off our wigs and rearranging our hair, we started walking towards London Bridge. Unfortunately, we could not take the tube because I am an idiot who cannot work a ticket machine I didn't buy an underground-inclusive ticket. So we walked, and it was nearly an hour before we actually got there.
But Russia bought everyone ice cream on the way in an act of infinite commie kindness and international relations improved all round.
Alright so I should explain that the London Dungeons is like this museum of terror, where shit jumps out at you and you're lead around a load of mirrors that may or may not be false and people in costumes act very disturbingly and you're pretty much terrified the whole time. But it's got this historical basis in all the stuff that's happened in London over the ages.
I blame Nena.
In the queue this awesome bloke dressed like he'd just been hit in the face by a bus came and offered us gore make up. I (England) got vampire bites, America got a broken nose about bloody time, Canada shot himself to gain attention got a bullet wound to the head, and Russia reminded the nice man that if you want to slit your wrists properly you go down the lane not across the park, da?
By the time we got in there all the gore had flaked off but America's nose and Canada's bullet wound so me and Russia sadfaced. But then we got inside the dark waiting hall and there was a gravestone labeled "here lies Mrs Jones, nothing more than a pile of bones". America was already terrified and we laughed at him.
Then the guide (who was scary as hell) lead us through to a hall of mirrors and trapped us inside, only some of them weren't mirrors and there were old ladies in rocking chairs and other disturbing scenes in them. We spent the whole time, the four of us, clinging to each other in this chain of terrified nations. Then Canada and America walked into a mirror and caught sight of their reflections and screamed. And lulz was had again.
So we finally got out (after going past a skeleton that rattled it's prison bars and scared me hard enough to nearly choke Russia with her scarf) and went through another show of what happened with the Black Plague and the Great Fire of London. Then we got to watch a "live" dissection of a human body in a corpse theater. Which was fun.
Oh, and then we went to the torture chamber and had to name all these torture devices and one tourist adorably asked if one was for cutting off ears when America piped up that it was for cutting off.... vital regions. Which was the correct answer. We all lol'd.
And then America got put on trial for... dancing naked in Hyde park, apparently, and once again there was lulz. Especially when she gave her name as "Nena" and the guy went "Nana?" and we were like "sure, let's go with that."
Then there was strobe lighting and screaming and we went on a boat ride during which we screamed some more and went backwards into the dark and just when we thought it was over a guy jumped onto our boat and screamed at us. You will never see Russia and America looking so frightened and clinging to each other ever again. Eventually we wound up in Whitechappel which is impressive since it's like the other side of London. We were all very paranoid by this point, so when the, ahem, "working lady" was talking about Jack the Ripper we were constantly looking around and PREPARED. But nothing happened, even when they went through the suspects of who Jack the Ripper was (potentially an American, because when the killings here stopped they started over in the states. I KNEW IT, ALFRED, I KNEW IT.) and it was only when we got to this little pub thing that shit started moving on it's own due to the ghosts of the murdered women and then the lights went out and BAM, DUDE IN A TOP HAT LOOMING OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AAAAAAH.
Which Canada and Russia claim not to have seen but that is clearly because they were closing their bloody eyes. Or idk planning a hostile takeover of the world.
Anyway THEN we went and watched a heretic burn courtesy of Bloody Mary (who ranted about Elizabeth being a witch and I instinctively replied "at least she's not a bitch" and scandalised an old lady.) and got lead through to be hung by the neck until dead for our crimes of... not being catholic. (Despite the fact that our dear Canada is catholic. XD)
I feel I should explain my next actions here. Things were leaping out from behind half-concealed doors all the time in this place. So when we went through to the explanation room, dark and scary like the rest of the place, I made sure to stand away from the doors, instead next to this harmless looking box with grating on it.
Halfway through the talk, a fucking dead body drops through a hatch in the ceiling, right behind me. The others killed themselves laughing. I just nearly died of a heart attack.
The hanging ride was pretty cute, like a tower of terror deal only shorter, meant to simulate the distance you go before the noose tightens. "Short drop and a sudden stop" indeed. However, Russia and Canada were talking at the time, so they ended up looking like this:
Russia had to take off the scarf for health and safety reasons. Also coats were discarded because it was really hot inside.
We made sure to come out of the gift shop looking terrified, so the rest of the people waiting to go in would get the atmosphere. <3
Anyway we then went to Leicester Square again and went to that 50s restaurant because their milkshakes are the stuff of gods, and the others ordered burgers. However, within these burgers were tomatoes, and neither Canada nor America like tomatoes in their burgers, which lead to this exchange:
Canada: I'll take the tomato out my burger.
Russia: ...did you just say tomatoes complicate your life?
There was a stunned pause, and then hysterics forever and ever amen.
So that was my day, and it was fun, and now I am a tired, sleepy Pidge who will go to bed. <3
It was all Nena's idea, though she was already regretting it when we were in the queue to go in. Russia, Canada and England are laughing at your pain, America.
So first we all met up at the Carousel by the Thames, whereupon Canada (coco_venus) and America (nenamoo) did the time warp for my amusement, and Russia (starrose17) ghosted out of fucking nowhere and scared us all shitless. Then we all went to Noodle Stop, and I swear to god their soya chicken has some kind of addictive properties. Or it might be the noodles. One of the two, because we always start our London trips there.
So after discussing the gayness of El Dorado and confusing people by pulling off our wigs and rearranging our hair, we started walking towards London Bridge. Unfortunately, we could not take the tube because I am an idiot who cannot work a ticket machine I didn't buy an underground-inclusive ticket. So we walked, and it was nearly an hour before we actually got there.
But Russia bought everyone ice cream on the way in an act of infinite commie kindness and international relations improved all round.
Alright so I should explain that the London Dungeons is like this museum of terror, where shit jumps out at you and you're lead around a load of mirrors that may or may not be false and people in costumes act very disturbingly and you're pretty much terrified the whole time. But it's got this historical basis in all the stuff that's happened in London over the ages.
I blame Nena.
In the queue this awesome bloke dressed like he'd just been hit in the face by a bus came and offered us gore make up. I (England) got vampire bites, America got a broken nose about bloody time, Canada shot himself to gain attention got a bullet wound to the head, and Russia reminded the nice man that if you want to slit your wrists properly you go down the lane not across the park, da?
By the time we got in there all the gore had flaked off but America's nose and Canada's bullet wound so me and Russia sadfaced. But then we got inside the dark waiting hall and there was a gravestone labeled "here lies Mrs Jones, nothing more than a pile of bones". America was already terrified and we laughed at him.
Then the guide (who was scary as hell) lead us through to a hall of mirrors and trapped us inside, only some of them weren't mirrors and there were old ladies in rocking chairs and other disturbing scenes in them. We spent the whole time, the four of us, clinging to each other in this chain of terrified nations. Then Canada and America walked into a mirror and caught sight of their reflections and screamed. And lulz was had again.
So we finally got out (after going past a skeleton that rattled it's prison bars and scared me hard enough to nearly choke Russia with her scarf) and went through another show of what happened with the Black Plague and the Great Fire of London. Then we got to watch a "live" dissection of a human body in a corpse theater. Which was fun.
Oh, and then we went to the torture chamber and had to name all these torture devices and one tourist adorably asked if one was for cutting off ears when America piped up that it was for cutting off.... vital regions. Which was the correct answer. We all lol'd.
And then America got put on trial for... dancing naked in Hyde park, apparently, and once again there was lulz. Especially when she gave her name as "Nena" and the guy went "Nana?" and we were like "sure, let's go with that."
Then there was strobe lighting and screaming and we went on a boat ride during which we screamed some more and went backwards into the dark and just when we thought it was over a guy jumped onto our boat and screamed at us. You will never see Russia and America looking so frightened and clinging to each other ever again. Eventually we wound up in Whitechappel which is impressive since it's like the other side of London. We were all very paranoid by this point, so when the, ahem, "working lady" was talking about Jack the Ripper we were constantly looking around and PREPARED. But nothing happened, even when they went through the suspects of who Jack the Ripper was (potentially an American, because when the killings here stopped they started over in the states. I KNEW IT, ALFRED, I KNEW IT.) and it was only when we got to this little pub thing that shit started moving on it's own due to the ghosts of the murdered women and then the lights went out and BAM, DUDE IN A TOP HAT LOOMING OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AAAAAAH.
Which Canada and Russia claim not to have seen but that is clearly because they were closing their bloody eyes. Or idk planning a hostile takeover of the world.
Anyway THEN we went and watched a heretic burn courtesy of Bloody Mary (who ranted about Elizabeth being a witch and I instinctively replied "at least she's not a bitch" and scandalised an old lady.) and got lead through to be hung by the neck until dead for our crimes of... not being catholic. (Despite the fact that our dear Canada is catholic. XD)
I feel I should explain my next actions here. Things were leaping out from behind half-concealed doors all the time in this place. So when we went through to the explanation room, dark and scary like the rest of the place, I made sure to stand away from the doors, instead next to this harmless looking box with grating on it.
Halfway through the talk, a fucking dead body drops through a hatch in the ceiling, right behind me. The others killed themselves laughing. I just nearly died of a heart attack.
The hanging ride was pretty cute, like a tower of terror deal only shorter, meant to simulate the distance you go before the noose tightens. "Short drop and a sudden stop" indeed. However, Russia and Canada were talking at the time, so they ended up looking like this:
Russia had to take off the scarf for health and safety reasons. Also coats were discarded because it was really hot inside.
We made sure to come out of the gift shop looking terrified, so the rest of the people waiting to go in would get the atmosphere. <3
Anyway we then went to Leicester Square again and went to that 50s restaurant because their milkshakes are the stuff of gods, and the others ordered burgers. However, within these burgers were tomatoes, and neither Canada nor America like tomatoes in their burgers, which lead to this exchange:
Canada: I'll take the tomato out my burger.
Russia: ...did you just say tomatoes complicate your life?
There was a stunned pause, and then hysterics forever and ever amen.
So that was my day, and it was fun, and now I am a tired, sleepy Pidge who will go to bed. <3