(no subject)
so my good ol LJ time for me to clear my head.....
i had a pretty rough couple of days. i don't know what started it but i got to thinking about my grandpa. and how i wish that he could see me in college and i just started to cry. i could hardly contain myself but i needed to because i had to go to my night class. i called my mom once i got out and i cried the entire time i was walking home. i felt bad because i made my mom cry too.
i am very fortunate that i have so much of my family around me all the time but on the other end it makes it so much more difficult to deal when they pass. my grandpa was a huge part of my life and i'm completely thrown off now that i can't talk to him.
i feel so selfish sometimes because i know that my grandpa is now happy and healthy and in no pain but i want to tear him away from that just so i can be with him. i know that's not right but i can't help it...i want him back, i need him back. he was supposed to see me graduate from high school and then see me graduate from college, i wanted him to be right there in the front row when i got married but now that's not going to happen.
i'm still pretty upset but i honestly don't know if i'll ever be completely alright with him gone.
i had a pretty rough couple of days. i don't know what started it but i got to thinking about my grandpa. and how i wish that he could see me in college and i just started to cry. i could hardly contain myself but i needed to because i had to go to my night class. i called my mom once i got out and i cried the entire time i was walking home. i felt bad because i made my mom cry too.
i am very fortunate that i have so much of my family around me all the time but on the other end it makes it so much more difficult to deal when they pass. my grandpa was a huge part of my life and i'm completely thrown off now that i can't talk to him.
i feel so selfish sometimes because i know that my grandpa is now happy and healthy and in no pain but i want to tear him away from that just so i can be with him. i know that's not right but i can't help it...i want him back, i need him back. he was supposed to see me graduate from high school and then see me graduate from college, i wanted him to be right there in the front row when i got married but now that's not going to happen.
i'm still pretty upset but i honestly don't know if i'll ever be completely alright with him gone.