How?
I...don't really know how to put this feeling into words...
How silly of me, crying over something I can't even name...it's just...I've been reading over some of my old posts and I'm crying because I have no idea how I got to where I am from where I was. Oooo, I'm all grown up and in college, but I've left so much on the way. My jesus, a lot of my closest friendships, and a life that felt good a lot of the time.
It's mostly jesus, though. I never really apprciated it. I really loved that kid. And I went and I fucked it all over because that's just the way I am. I can't just let myself be where I am, even if I'm happy.
I wish I had someone to love like that now.
But I don't think I'll ever have soeone love me like that again.
And I wonder why I can't stop crying...?
How silly of me, crying over something I can't even name...it's just...I've been reading over some of my old posts and I'm crying because I have no idea how I got to where I am from where I was. Oooo, I'm all grown up and in college, but I've left so much on the way. My jesus, a lot of my closest friendships, and a life that felt good a lot of the time.
It's mostly jesus, though. I never really apprciated it. I really loved that kid. And I went and I fucked it all over because that's just the way I am. I can't just let myself be where I am, even if I'm happy.
I wish I had someone to love like that now.
But I don't think I'll ever have soeone love me like that again.
And I wonder why I can't stop crying...?