This is it.
Just felt the need to write a bit. Felt the need to play music yesterday. I havent played in a very long time. I pulled out some very old songs i wrote when i first started playing the guitar. they were very corny 3 chord progressions. Songs about love and what not. As I played them i couldnt help but feel good about life. They sparked this energy. Maybe it was me getting trapped in a good part of the past. Maybe i was too caught up reliving old memories. Either way it felt good. Then i continued to study. I should be studying right now. Id figure i have the rest of the night to do so. I have been thinking a lot lately on conformity and views on wealth, success, amongst other things. I always think of them actually. I've just been thinking of them more lately. I feel like I am starting to wake up. My whole life ive been living a dream. I have this conversation in my head that goes pretty similar to Brad Pitt's and Edward Norton's conversation during the bathtub scene in fight club. I received some old pictures in the mail the other day. I was very hesitant in opening the box they came in but my roommate insisted that I open it. Sure enough, there was old belongings that i had left behind. Its funny, she gave me my stuff back plus a couple of pics so she wouldnt have to look at them anymore, now i am burdened with their memories. I really dont want them either to tell you the truth. I thought of throwing them away but something told me to keep them. Im thinking that maybe I should start dating again. Fuck that. I think I've ruined enough lives already. Which brings me to this. About three weeks ago, i was told that i have contributed nothing to life and that I was a horrible human being. Since then I've been trying to change my ways. All for the wrong reason. I should change for the sake of helping for helping. Fuck this ego.
its time to study again.
EMG
its time to study again.
EMG