holiday hell and random bitchings
well no matter how happy we act around everyone else we have to have our internal issues... ew cant just have one fucking normal holiday or event or celebration or get together or vacation or anything it has to be fucked up there is no normality in my family.... i dont understand why we cant just be as simple as we let everyone think we are... there has to be drunking, pills and everything else there is with my family i swear if i dont live here next holiday season im so going to celebrate like yule or soemthing different than thsi over rated, conformist, illogically explained, pagan stolen, comercialized, political bullshit holiday....i dont care ill spend some time with my faily doing the wanna be happy golucky perfect family bullshit they try to attempt.... i hate it so much..... adam came to see me today however...im hopeing and asuming that its becasue he wantedto see me again before i left for alabama, i kinda wantedto get to fuck before i left but whatever, it can wait a week,lol... i dunno ive seen him several times and not done anything well 2wice... and last time was our movie date hyaha... good times good times.....haha....not reallly important... its become a reallly good friendship with the benifits of sleeping together whenever it happens not planning it or depending on it just whatever happens happens ive never had this much fun with him... welli guess imlieing i liked it better when iu knew i was his and he was mine... but i guess as long as were both mostly hapopy then it works... ive mostly goten over wanting him compleatly to myself cuz even if there werent "complications" i dont think wed be "together" cuz we still have alot to figure out about eachother and what we want and what our intentions are and all that shit... so i guess its better this way... and i dont care what or who hes doing as long as im clean i dont really care its just sex whats the big fucking deal... ew care sabout eachother and we know eachother and were comfortable with eachother so its not a bad thing... plus thats not all we have.... i mean we have history and alot of emotion and alot of shit weve been through together... its hard to explain....on another note im pissed i wanted to tripp my way into the ney year just fucking disapear and trippppp nuttts but im going to alabama imgoing to freeze my ass off.....this kinda sux... but im excitedi might gte to see snow yay!!!.....ummm i dont know what else i wanted to bitch about so imgoing to finish my joint and finish looking for a spell to make it snow in alabama....muahahaha....hopefully it wiullwork if i find one....illpost if i doso yall know it was me doing ti bitches...hahaha.. lol...
have you ever sat and watched the shadows of your past drift around you,
or seen things u did before flsh in front of you all of a sudden
form being remi9nded of times gone?....
now imagine that evrydday,
everytime u look at the same walls youve looked at for 14 years
and the same streets and the same houses and the same eveyrhting
except people everyone goes away, eveyrone growsup
everyone chooses something else over you,
there is no white knight or magickal fairy to save you from you damnnation your trapt in your tower and soon to be forgotten
much like your idols and your dreams and hopes and ambitions
and even your faith,
only to realize youve simply and easily been forgotten.
DJW
to be forgotten is to ahve never existed. there is no impact if no one remembers. if a tree falls in the forest but no is around to hear it doese it make a sound? if never seen by humans a bug lives it entire life and dies without recognition did it ever exist?humans can be viewd the same way?
have you ever sat and watched the shadows of your past drift around you,
or seen things u did before flsh in front of you all of a sudden
form being remi9nded of times gone?....
now imagine that evrydday,
everytime u look at the same walls youve looked at for 14 years
and the same streets and the same houses and the same eveyrhting
except people everyone goes away, eveyrone growsup
everyone chooses something else over you,
there is no white knight or magickal fairy to save you from you damnnation your trapt in your tower and soon to be forgotten
much like your idols and your dreams and hopes and ambitions
and even your faith,
only to realize youve simply and easily been forgotten.
DJW
to be forgotten is to ahve never existed. there is no impact if no one remembers. if a tree falls in the forest but no is around to hear it doese it make a sound? if never seen by humans a bug lives it entire life and dies without recognition did it ever exist?humans can be viewd the same way?