Today is turning out to be a busy day. Already I've had to meet and greet Mr's Pryce and MacDonald. A job that normally would have been delegated to some lesser demon if said lesser demons were not already up in the living realm beating Angel and his merry band to a pulp.
Ah well. I try to look on the bright side, seek out the silver lining. Which in this case would be one new soul on the Wolfram and Hart possessions list. A soul near and dear to old Mr Angel. There, I'm feeling better already.
I look around my new location. Files and Records. Admittedly, Wolf could have picked a more comfortable location for this next meeting, but now is not the time to complain.
Ahead of me runs apparently endless stacks of cabinets and shelves. To tell the truth, being pretty much all powerful, I can see the end, but sometimes it's more impressive to let your imagination edit things a little.
And in the far distance... there he would be. One brilliant but still tiringly human mind; niaive and irrational. Hopefully he will have learnt his lesson. Mr Knox could still be a great asset to Wolfram and Hart. I can see the white of the file in his hands. I begin to gently pull the file towards me, not so he can feel it of course, a pull to the subconscious. Enough to make him feel like he's wandering over here of his own violition.
I was late, again. I was certain Ram wouldn't be happy with that. This was the second meeting I'd miss that day. Not my fault that I got more satisfaction out of watching the carnage on Earth. Really, now.
I'd considered making a flashy entrance. You know, the sort with explosions and smoke? Then again, I'd only succeed in destroying valuable records, and scaring the mortal off. Oh, and making Ram even angrier. Instead, I just ended up appearing behind her, grinning like the proverbial village idiot. "Hello! Sorry I'm late and all. Is it here yet?"
As I spiraled deeper and deeper into my thoughts, the stacks seemed to pass faster. A gift and a curse, that. Even silly little musings brought me back to my memories. I'd start off thinking about D+D, and then I'd remember the day I met Fred, and how she ascended and became Illyria, and that would lead to...
The day I died.
Dammit.
I guess that was the point of hell. You weren't supposed to be happy and all that. But it really wasn't the place that made me unhappy, I think. I was just being a miserable person. The fact that I was dead just irked me, you know? And the God-King didn't even try to slow down time, or pull me aside, or...
I wasn't being fair. How could anyone know that Wesley Wyndham Pryce was a complete nut?
Forcing myself to smile, I continued toward my destination. Wherever that was.
You'd think that after millenia living with my dearest sister that I would be used to be. But apparently not. I started like the startled doe when Wolf's voice cheerily 'Hello'-ed just behind me.
I whirled round to glare at her. It is a glare that has reduced many a looming, hulking demon to proverbial putty in my hands. Yet for some reason it never works on Wolf. She just stands there with that inane grin on her face.
"One of these days," I hiss, "I will turn you into a fox just before the local hunt sets off from." I snort and feel a little better. "And 'it' is over there."
I point to where Mr Knox is wending his way towards us.
"Why don't you do the honours. Although please try not to terrify him into a coma before we get a word in."
I just adore scaring others. Especially Ram. It made her so deliciously huffy. One check in the Wolf column, if you don't mind.
"Being a fox wouldn't be too bad. I could easier give the inferior creatures the slip." I smiled again, following her gesture to the young man winding his way though the stacks. "Now what makes you think I'd do that?" The words are empty, I know I like to play with humans, so it's not like the words can console her.
I wait until he rounds the corner, before I send him a simple greeting. "Good day, mortal boy!"
Well, it was also something of a warning. I don't want any lip from him, like the last case I took on personally. That was ages ago, but mortals don't seem to work as well after you steal their lips. That, and the other humans tend to steer clear of those they deem 'deformed'.
I should have known something was off when I ended up in an aisle with two women. Generally you won't run into anyone while filing. Because we could actually talk, and it says somewhere in the fine print that for it to be a proper job, you must be miserable. I'm still not certain I see the logic in that clause, but...
Either way, the one referred to me as a mortal, which could only mean bad news. "Um...I'm sorry. I'll just put this in, and slip away. I won't get in the way." I try to smile at them. I figured out quickly that the best thing to do here is to avoid anything that called you a 'mortal'. Something paying attention to you was always bad news. I'd heard quite a few stories about that. "Or if you'd like, I could come back later..."
This human is supposedly quite bright in comparision with most of the rest of his species. At least, that was what was reported to us by our people on the mortal coil. I have to admit, you wouldn't think it looking at him. Blue eyes, floppy hair, one of those mouths that is always trying to 'quirk'. Normally I'd put men like that equal to rabbits when it comes to brainpower. But, to be fair, he does seem on the ball. All skittish around Senior Partners - that's how it should be.
I move briskly, putting myself behind his right shoulder before he finishes his sentence.
"Mr Knox," I say cheerily, putting my arm though his and guiding him forwards, Wolf on his left. "Please don't worry, there is no way we would let our paths cross that of such a puny, rancid mere mortal, such as yourself, unless we intended it. We wanted to talk a few things over with you."
Puny and Rancid, huh? Well, I guess that means I won't be eaten. Any day some holier-than-thou being doesn't have you for a snack is a good day, in my opinion. Still, it wasn't the best of days. The two girl-like things swooped me up, dragging me along to who-knew-where? I'm loathe to admit I even stumbled a few times.
Not like I ever billed myself for being entirely graceful. I was a scientist, not a gymnast.
And I still wasn't entirely certain who they were. Most things didn't take questions very well either. I wasn't particularly used to asking them. Generally it all worked out just fine...
"Oh, well...allright then. Um...they'll notice I'm gone and all after a few minutes."
Perhaps that'd coax them into revealing their status? Or even letting me go, if they weren't all that powerful. The Senior Partners probably didn't like others swiping their employees, living or not.
Oh, well wasn't that cute? Poor little mortal boy was worried about getting in trouble with the higher-ups and all. Obviously, he missed that fact the we outranked everyone here by...well, a lot. "It's okay, okay?" I said brightly, "It's all been cleared, and you won't catch any flack from those idiots."
It was fun stringing him along with us. Knox twitched ever-so-slightly, eyes darting to and fro like a frightened hare. I desperately want to try something, but I'd promised Ram...
This was all assuming my abhorrent butchering of colloquial English hadn't scared the scientist to death. I smirked slightly as I watched the man. Ram wouldn't be angry if I tried something small, right? If I didn't drive him insane, there wouldn't be a problem, right?
I shoot Wolf a cautioning look. She loves her games, but she has a way of forgetting about the bigger picture in favour of what she calls 'fun' and I call a headache.
"Mr Knox," I say in my sweetest tones, "you do realise that you have a lot of potentional. It's why you were hired in the first place. A sad waste of talent; always a pity when someone chooses the wrong path. But, you're not the first and-"
I froze as something soft brushed against my lower back. A touch that belonged to no human hand. With infinite care but also not inconsiderable speed, I spun round, ready to nail to the ground the maggot that had dared touch me, with its own tongue.
I blinked. Nope, it was still there. One glossy, bushy fox tail. Currently, despite normal convention, attached to one Mr Knox.
There are times in one's life, or unlife in cases such as mine, that something drops hints that things are actually much worse then they seem. The first indication was being dragged away by beings that referred to me as a 'mortal'. The second hint was when I could suddenly feel things slightly behind me. The third involved the one woman whirling around and staring in shock behind me, calling out "Wolf!", and the fourth was when I realized I had been in the company of the senior partners the entire time.
I turned my head,slightly. Wolf still holding my arm, making it pretty hard to maneuver more than a couple steps. What I saw made my breath stop coming for a second. Behind me a rust-red tail, tipped in black, swished idly. It was an anomaly, at best. "That can't be..." I murmured, ears lying flat against my skull.
And then I realized I'd never been able to even wiggle my ears before. I frowned slightly, reaching up and brushing against a small pair of ears perched atop my head. The were soft, warm, and altogether unhuman. "Am I being punished for this straying I did?" I asked,bewildered.
Oh, this was so much fun! And didn't the human look, /that/ much better with the animal features incorporated? The form fit him, the sneaky little human. Foxy Knoxy running off and bringing one of the stronger Old Ones back. On our own turf no less. He warranted some playing with. I'm sure Ram would agree, once she got over it.
"Yes, Ram, darling?" I say, voice saccharine. "You look disgruntled, for some reason. This sort of thing happens all the time for betrayers... 9th circle of hell and all that jazz."
I found that quoting Dante's Divine Comedy unnerved humans. I'd like to see how Knox reacted, worshiping an old one and all.
Open mouth. Insert foot. Rats, drats, and double rats. It always happens, I get startled or lose my temper and I forget myself for a crucial second. And, in this case, blow mine and Wolf's cover.
Oh well. I suppose I ought to make the best of a bad job.
"Wolf," I say wearily, "now is not the time for games. We have a serious proposition for Mr Knox here, and these ears and that tail-" which, actually, are oddly appealing, "-they lack a certain gravitas."
I idly brush away the tail which was threatening to swish my way again.
"It's not a game", I said affably, "It's a stake for Mr. Knox." Wait until sister saw this! She'd, well, I couldn't accurately say that she would flip out. Perhaps she would glare...a lot. "And isn't the tail just adorable?"
The human gave me a worried look, which I admit was more than justified. "If Mr. Knox doesn't agree to our terms, then..." I glanced at him, and effortlessly made the mortal into a fox. Not a fox-boy mind you, a furry confused little vulpine.
I think that really must've bruised the ex-employee's ego, because he immediately did the fox version of "Stop,Drop,and Roll." I think he was actually trembling, and lot. "Would you like to tell him what we want, Ram?" Knox was actually cute that way, all rust-red, and curled up. I was tempted to keep him that way for the hell of it.
Ah well. I try to look on the bright side, seek out the silver lining. Which in this case would be one new soul on the Wolfram and Hart possessions list. A soul near and dear to old Mr Angel. There, I'm feeling better already.
I look around my new location. Files and Records. Admittedly, Wolf could have picked a more comfortable location for this next meeting, but now is not the time to complain.
Ahead of me runs apparently endless stacks of cabinets and shelves. To tell the truth, being pretty much all powerful, I can see the end, but sometimes it's more impressive to let your imagination edit things a little.
And in the far distance... there he would be. One brilliant but still tiringly human mind; niaive and irrational. Hopefully he will have learnt his lesson. Mr Knox could still be a great asset to Wolfram and Hart. I can see the white of the file in his hands. I begin to gently pull the file towards me, not so he can feel it of course, a pull to the subconscious. Enough to make him feel like he's wandering over here of his own violition.
I also cast my gaze around, a little impatiently.
"Wolf, where in the name of blazes are you?"
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I'd considered making a flashy entrance. You know, the sort with explosions and smoke? Then again, I'd only succeed in destroying valuable records, and scaring the mortal off. Oh, and making Ram even angrier. Instead, I just ended up appearing behind her, grinning like the proverbial village idiot. "Hello! Sorry I'm late and all. Is it here yet?"
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The day I died.
Dammit.
I guess that was the point of hell. You weren't supposed to be happy and all that. But it really wasn't the place that made me unhappy, I think. I was just being a miserable person. The fact that I was dead just irked me, you know? And the God-King didn't even try to slow down time, or pull me aside, or...
I wasn't being fair. How could anyone know that Wesley Wyndham Pryce was a complete nut?
Forcing myself to smile, I continued toward my destination. Wherever that was.
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I whirled round to glare at her. It is a glare that has reduced many a looming, hulking demon to proverbial putty in my hands. Yet for some reason it never works on Wolf. She just stands there with that inane grin on her face.
"One of these days," I hiss, "I will turn you into a fox just before the local hunt sets off from." I snort and feel a little better. "And 'it' is over there."
I point to where Mr Knox is wending his way towards us.
"Why don't you do the honours. Although please try not to terrify him into a coma before we get a word in."
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"Being a fox wouldn't be too bad. I could easier give the inferior creatures the slip." I smiled again, following her gesture to the young man winding his way though the stacks. "Now what makes you think I'd do that?" The words are empty, I know I like to play with humans, so it's not like the words can console her.
I wait until he rounds the corner, before I send him a simple greeting. "Good day, mortal boy!"
Well, it was also something of a warning. I don't want any lip from him, like the last case I took on personally. That was ages ago, but mortals don't seem to work as well after you steal their lips. That, and the other humans tend to steer clear of those they deem 'deformed'.
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I should have known something was off when I ended up in an aisle with two women. Generally you won't run into anyone while filing. Because we could actually talk, and it says somewhere in the fine print that for it to be a proper job, you must be miserable. I'm still not certain I see the logic in that clause, but...
Either way, the one referred to me as a mortal, which could only mean bad news. "Um...I'm sorry. I'll just put this in, and slip away. I won't get in the way." I try to smile at them. I figured out quickly that the best thing to do here is to avoid anything that called you a 'mortal'. Something paying attention to you was always bad news. I'd heard quite a few stories about that. "Or if you'd like, I could come back later..."
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I move briskly, putting myself behind his right shoulder before he finishes his sentence.
"Mr Knox," I say cheerily, putting my arm though his and guiding him forwards, Wolf on his left. "Please don't worry, there is no way we would let our paths cross that of such a puny, rancid mere mortal, such as yourself, unless we intended it. We wanted to talk a few things over with you."
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Not like I ever billed myself for being entirely graceful. I was a scientist, not a gymnast.
And I still wasn't entirely certain who they were. Most things didn't take questions very well either. I wasn't particularly used to asking them. Generally it all worked out just fine...
"Oh, well...allright then. Um...they'll notice I'm gone and all after a few minutes."
Perhaps that'd coax them into revealing their status? Or even letting me go, if they weren't all that powerful. The Senior Partners probably didn't like others swiping their employees, living or not.
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It was fun stringing him along with us. Knox twitched ever-so-slightly, eyes darting to and fro like a frightened hare. I desperately want to try something, but I'd promised Ram...
This was all assuming my abhorrent butchering of colloquial English hadn't scared the scientist to death. I smirked slightly as I watched the man. Ram wouldn't be angry if I tried something small, right? If I didn't drive him insane, there wouldn't be a problem, right?
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"Mr Knox," I say in my sweetest tones, "you do realise that you have a lot of potentional. It's why you were hired in the first place. A sad waste of talent; always a pity when someone chooses the wrong path. But, you're not the first and-"
I froze as something soft brushed against my lower back. A touch that belonged to no human hand. With infinite care but also not inconsiderable speed, I spun round, ready to nail to the ground the maggot that had dared touch me, with its own tongue.
I blinked. Nope, it was still there. One glossy, bushy fox tail. Currently, despite normal convention, attached to one Mr Knox.
"Wolf..."
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I turned my head,slightly. Wolf still holding my arm, making it pretty hard to maneuver more than a couple steps. What I saw made my breath stop coming for a second. Behind me a rust-red tail, tipped in black, swished idly. It was an anomaly, at best. "That can't be..." I murmured, ears lying flat against my skull.
And then I realized I'd never been able to even wiggle my ears before. I frowned slightly, reaching up and brushing against a small pair of ears perched atop my head. The were soft, warm, and altogether unhuman. "Am I being punished for this straying I did?" I asked,bewildered.
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"Yes, Ram, darling?" I say, voice saccharine. "You look disgruntled, for some reason. This sort of thing happens all the time for betrayers... 9th circle of hell and all that jazz."
I found that quoting Dante's Divine Comedy unnerved humans. I'd like to see how Knox reacted, worshiping an old one and all.
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Oh well. I suppose I ought to make the best of a bad job.
"Wolf," I say wearily, "now is not the time for games. We have a serious proposition for Mr Knox here, and these ears and that tail-" which, actually, are oddly appealing, "-they lack a certain gravitas."
I idly brush away the tail which was threatening to swish my way again.
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The human gave me a worried look, which I admit was more than justified. "If Mr. Knox doesn't agree to our terms, then..." I glanced at him, and effortlessly made the mortal into a fox. Not a fox-boy mind you, a furry confused little vulpine.
I think that really must've bruised the ex-employee's ego, because he immediately did the fox version of "Stop,Drop,and Roll." I think he was actually trembling, and lot. "Would you like to tell him what we want, Ram?" Knox was actually cute that way, all rust-red, and curled up. I was tempted to keep him that way for the hell of it.
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