fuckin a man

[hells_minion]

im not in the greatest mood tonight ive been drinking a little bit tonight not much but enough to make me depressed I know its not like it really matters what i write on here because nobody ever reads it anyways. honestly anymore im not even sure who my real freinds are...ive been back mabey 3 months and really the only people i talk to are kathy emily and james thinking about it really depresses me i havnt been sleeping well latley my dad wants to take me to another psychyotrist but i kind of think that its pointless because i wont talk to them...i cant talk to them because they fucking act like they understand what ive been through and all this bullshit but they dont its a fucking trust issue . i talked to a couple of my freinds in colorado today i geuss a couple of my close freinds out there have gotten into drugs real bad and i dont mean like fuckin weed and pills i mean like cocaine and meth...it really fucking upsets me and it worrys me to because when i was there they just smoked and drank everyonce and a while i dont fucking know, me and dad have been fighting for like the past two days i dont know how much more shit im going to be able to take before i fucking lose it completly i talked to my mom the other day i asked her if i might be able to move back in with her i told that i know what i did was stupid and that i wanted another chance to be a good kid and be able to live with her. all she did was laugh and tell me to suck it up untill i graduate. this is fucking bullshit everytime i fuck up my parents send me to the other parent so i always have this feeling like no one cares or that my parents dont fucking want me
it dosnt help at all that dad is always telling me that i was the fuck up the mistake child hes always hanging that over my head to...i dont know im gonna go and try and get some sleep later
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