Merlin 3.01, aka, the episode that broke my capslock
Two minutes into the new Merlin and I realize how desperately I need to write down my thoughts.
I love the banter. THE BANTER! It's like during that year Morgana's been missing, the boys have grown so damn close! AND YES, ARTHUR DID JUST SAY THE EXACT WORDS “your little bottom” HE WOULD KNOW.
Omg in what goddamn world would “I swear, his sword suddenly became a MAGNET!” ever ever ever pass off as “not sorcery!” I don't think magnets were even discovered back then!
Ok, maybe “your axe sliced through that whole tree!” is more plausible. You're learning so quickly, Merlin muffin!
….and then you're failing. FLOATING SPEAR. FLOATING. SPEAR. I seriously want to write a ficlet about one of Arthur's knights who's always there, and he's like “Weird shit always goes down when we're in a fight. First there was the weird magnet incident, then there was the floating spear. I...I just don't even know.”
….I like how Merlin's face is all “grumpy” when he's looking off at the unknown approaching person, and then it's like Morgana and he's totes like “HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT? WHAT.”
Okay, like, I know “what do you think Uther will do to me” is supposed to be angsty and woeful, but it just made me think kinky things, which I do not want to think.
“Arthur's requested your presence.” Wow. Is that, um, supposed to be taken...er, differently? HE MEANS SEX. IT'S CODE FOR SEX.
...wait, in Morgana's chambers? Shit. Kinky threesome.
Merlin's face when Morgana is talking about watching the Camelot patrol being cut down? WAY SEXINESS.
Why would Arthur request his presence if he's just going to leave? I would have thought that meant he'd say something to him with Morgana?
Ew, that was awkward. “Sorry about your life. Good to have you back!” Answer: tears and a smile. It just gives me an icky feeling.
God. Merlin on his knees, Arthur walks in, looks down at him, smiles exchanged. This sounds like a setup for awesome fanfic but it's FOR REELZ.
SHIRTLESSNESS. AGJO;IREUT;O.
OH MY GOD OMG OMG OH MY GOD. DID HE JUST. GUH. I LOVE THE FLIRTING. ALSO THAT COULD SO TOTALLY BE CUE FOR MERLIN TO TOSS ARTHUR DOWN ON THE BED AND SHOW HIM THE PROPER WAY TO RUB A WET CLOTH OVER CERTAIN AREAS OF THE BODY. SLOWLY.
RUN TO EACH OTHER, RUN! AND PUNCH HIM IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE, MORGANA!
No no do not wipe off his tears it's fucking tragic. God.
Oh yeah, I love Viciously Deviant Morgana. Totally BAMF. I am LOVING this Morgana extended evil edition scene. PERFECT VIDDING MATERIAL.
OOOOHHHH I see! That wasn't a travesty of tear-wiping!
ew. ew that looked like poo.
Oh! Root-baby from Pan's Labyrinth!
Okay, like, I'm not a femslasher, and the only incest I partake in is WINcest....but that scene makes it look like Morgana's totally getting off on Morgause's magic incantations.
WHOA. WHOA. GOLDEN EYES IS MERLIN'S SCHTICK, YO. BITCH.
POO BABY.
ARTHUR IS SUCH A JEDI. I CANNOT EVEN.
That little :D Arthur did at the end of his Mocking was so damn cute.
COSTUMER! YOU HAVE MY HEART!
Does NO ONE else see her “not really smiling” faces? It is a CROWDED ROOM and she was just the subject of a DRUNKEN KING'S SPEECH.
I haven't seen it, but is this like The Ring?
Positively Wolfish grin there, Morgana. “Just taking a stroll”... “You're wounded!” She totes should have said, after stabbing him, “No, you are.”
Damn. Don't be hatin' on Gwen.
HOLY FUCKING HELL WHO IS THAT HOTTIE WITH THE HAIR AND THE KNIVES OMG OMG
“I don't think with my sword.” how is that supposed to be taken? Her little smirky laugh means “Oh, I guess you think with something else, then?”
Awwwww I feel bad for Athur. Your dad's going mad! Everyone's talking about him! How do you cover?
Oh crap. If Morgana poisons him with Gaius' shit, Gaius will get the blame. MOTHERFUCKER.
That is a very loud hallway. How can Morgana not hear Merlin behind her?
CAUSE SHE DID!!! YES! YAY REALISM!!!!
MERLIN OMG USE YOUR FUCKING MAGIC. TURN THE CHAINS INTO RIBBONS AND RUN GODDAMNIT.
Merlin's this damn close to saying, “Because I love him.”
This show is turning into Bondage Kink more and more.
Oh god. Not the giant fucking scorpions again. NEW MONSTERS, GUYS, FIND SOME NEW MONSTERS.
WOOBIE. Don't cry Arthur! Omg.
GASP. I swear I just stopped breathing. Merlin! NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
what was that? What did he say? What spell? WAS HE CALLING THE DRAGON??!!!
YES. YES HE WAS. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG CAPSLOCK CANNOT CONTAIN MY GLEE!!!!
OH NO IT'S OVER!? WHAT?!!!!
I love the banter. THE BANTER! It's like during that year Morgana's been missing, the boys have grown so damn close! AND YES, ARTHUR DID JUST SAY THE EXACT WORDS “your little bottom” HE WOULD KNOW.
Omg in what goddamn world would “I swear, his sword suddenly became a MAGNET!” ever ever ever pass off as “not sorcery!” I don't think magnets were even discovered back then!
Ok, maybe “your axe sliced through that whole tree!” is more plausible. You're learning so quickly, Merlin muffin!
….and then you're failing. FLOATING SPEAR. FLOATING. SPEAR. I seriously want to write a ficlet about one of Arthur's knights who's always there, and he's like “Weird shit always goes down when we're in a fight. First there was the weird magnet incident, then there was the floating spear. I...I just don't even know.”
….I like how Merlin's face is all “grumpy” when he's looking off at the unknown approaching person, and then it's like Morgana and he's totes like “HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT? WHAT.”
Okay, like, I know “what do you think Uther will do to me” is supposed to be angsty and woeful, but it just made me think kinky things, which I do not want to think.
“Arthur's requested your presence.” Wow. Is that, um, supposed to be taken...er, differently? HE MEANS SEX. IT'S CODE FOR SEX.
...wait, in Morgana's chambers? Shit. Kinky threesome.
Merlin's face when Morgana is talking about watching the Camelot patrol being cut down? WAY SEXINESS.
Why would Arthur request his presence if he's just going to leave? I would have thought that meant he'd say something to him with Morgana?
Ew, that was awkward. “Sorry about your life. Good to have you back!” Answer: tears and a smile. It just gives me an icky feeling.
God. Merlin on his knees, Arthur walks in, looks down at him, smiles exchanged. This sounds like a setup for awesome fanfic but it's FOR REELZ.
SHIRTLESSNESS. AGJO;IREUT;O.
OH MY GOD OMG OMG OH MY GOD. DID HE JUST. GUH. I LOVE THE FLIRTING. ALSO THAT COULD SO TOTALLY BE CUE FOR MERLIN TO TOSS ARTHUR DOWN ON THE BED AND SHOW HIM THE PROPER WAY TO RUB A WET CLOTH OVER CERTAIN AREAS OF THE BODY. SLOWLY.
RUN TO EACH OTHER, RUN! AND PUNCH HIM IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE, MORGANA!
No no do not wipe off his tears it's fucking tragic. God.
Oh yeah, I love Viciously Deviant Morgana. Totally BAMF. I am LOVING this Morgana extended evil edition scene. PERFECT VIDDING MATERIAL.
OOOOHHHH I see! That wasn't a travesty of tear-wiping!
ew. ew that looked like poo.
Oh! Root-baby from Pan's Labyrinth!
Okay, like, I'm not a femslasher, and the only incest I partake in is WINcest....but that scene makes it look like Morgana's totally getting off on Morgause's magic incantations.
WHOA. WHOA. GOLDEN EYES IS MERLIN'S SCHTICK, YO. BITCH.
POO BABY.
ARTHUR IS SUCH A JEDI. I CANNOT EVEN.
That little :D Arthur did at the end of his Mocking was so damn cute.
COSTUMER! YOU HAVE MY HEART!
Does NO ONE else see her “not really smiling” faces? It is a CROWDED ROOM and she was just the subject of a DRUNKEN KING'S SPEECH.
I haven't seen it, but is this like The Ring?
Positively Wolfish grin there, Morgana. “Just taking a stroll”... “You're wounded!” She totes should have said, after stabbing him, “No, you are.”
Damn. Don't be hatin' on Gwen.
HOLY FUCKING HELL WHO IS THAT HOTTIE WITH THE HAIR AND THE KNIVES OMG OMG
“I don't think with my sword.” how is that supposed to be taken? Her little smirky laugh means “Oh, I guess you think with something else, then?”
Awwwww I feel bad for Athur. Your dad's going mad! Everyone's talking about him! How do you cover?
Oh crap. If Morgana poisons him with Gaius' shit, Gaius will get the blame. MOTHERFUCKER.
That is a very loud hallway. How can Morgana not hear Merlin behind her?
CAUSE SHE DID!!! YES! YAY REALISM!!!!
MERLIN OMG USE YOUR FUCKING MAGIC. TURN THE CHAINS INTO RIBBONS AND RUN GODDAMNIT.
Merlin's this damn close to saying, “Because I love him.”
This show is turning into Bondage Kink more and more.
Oh god. Not the giant fucking scorpions again. NEW MONSTERS, GUYS, FIND SOME NEW MONSTERS.
WOOBIE. Don't cry Arthur! Omg.
GASP. I swear I just stopped breathing. Merlin! NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
what was that? What did he say? What spell? WAS HE CALLING THE DRAGON??!!!
YES. YES HE WAS. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG CAPSLOCK CANNOT CONTAIN MY GLEE!!!!
OH NO IT'S OVER!? WHAT?!!!!