Because telling you would make me cry

[hellostr8edge]

I really don't know what the hell my stupid problem is. Don almost walked away from me lastnight at 2:00am. He wasn't sleeping and he was sitting up in bed. I looked at him and asked him what was wrong, he said nothing that his stomache hurt. Now I know for a fact that when either one of us says that our stomaches hurt like what seems to be out of nowhere that means we're upset about something and are to afraid to just come out and say it. So I just kept asking him questions, trying to get some sort of friggin answer out of him. Then after 20 questions it finally came down to the point that he and I didn't have sex lastnight. We were hinting at it all day and there were temptaions before I had to go to work and then he came to see me at work and we were talking about it. And then of course we came home and nothing happens. I feel like a peice of shit, I feel like I can make him happy in everything else in our relationship but I can't in the physical sense. And it's not that I don't want to cause believe me I do. It's all just stemming from something else. I was telling him that we used to do it alot at Amy's house and at his house. And before Tony moved into Amy's yeah it was great and fine. Tony just makes me feel so uncomfortable, always making comments about my tits, and saying that he wants to watch Don and I have sex and then even going as far as asking Don what size he is. It's bullshit, I can't "Get in the mood" when someone is acting like that. Then there's Don's house, and if you've read my entries you'll know of a certain person name Bobbi. She's Don's x-girlfriend who always calls and writes him letters and is just a complete fucker. With that and a really annoying roommate how can I feel again "In the mood"? Oh and does anyone remember how I waited and waited for 10 days for him to come home from Seattle and all I wanted to do was lock myself in his room and make love to him and stay in bed with him. AND THEN WHO FUCKING SHOWS UP! BOBBI! AND FUCKING TIM! So don't fucking tell me you feel like shit and you feel like I don't want to be with you. Cause I fucking do! I have put up with so much fucking bullshit and I'm still here. One little thing goes wrong and I feel like an asshole. I love Don so much, and if this is the only thing that is wrong with our relationship, then by god that's wonderful. Because atleast we're not abusive to one another atleast we're inlove with one another. If I ever had to give this relationship up for someone who I can just fuck fuck fuck, I'd rather be alone.

Just when I thought it was okay to breath again......

Ex,oh,ex,oh