This is going to take a minute of your time.
I don't know where to really begin with an update. I looked at my last normal post, so I guess I'll have to start from there.
No I didn't get the job at the bank, thank God for that. After being utterly disappointed at myself for not getting the job at the bank, I continued to work at the bar. Finally my break came when Shaun (my best friend in the whole world) got me a job with him at this beauty supply company. I was doing customer service work, didn't really care for it...but hey I wasn't at a white trash bar with a bunch of drunks. Don and I went to Seattle my second week at the new job. It was planned before I was even interviewing at the bank so things were cool. Once we got back we broke our lease at Timber Top, due to violence, scum, and simply not feeling safe at night. We moved up the street from Chapel Hill Mall into the cutest townhouses. Hunters Lake would be home for over the next year. I was starting to feel bored and frustrated making little to no money doing customer service work. I heard of an opening in the accounting building and jumped on it! I got a position as a collector, the hours were the same and things seemed to be looking up for me. Don and I were having our ups and downs. A lot of the problems were still based around his ex girlfriend Bobbi and some stupid internet whores that he was having a problem letting go of. Oh and with his mother, it seemed like no matter what I did...I could do no right for that lady. We tried having her over for dinner, invited her over to my parents house for the holidays...still nothing.
The summer of '05 brought us new challenges. Ashlee (my best friend who is married to Shaun my other best friend) and I started to work out. She lost 50lbs and I lost only about 15lbs. Feeling good about ourselves and our friendship nothing really seemed to be bugging us except for the simple fact that I was depressed. Don had lost his job in Feb. and was forced to take some shitty job because his unemployment was going to run out. We all went camping the weekend of July 4th. In the middle of Pa. (don't worry there was a Wal-mart about 10 minutes from our site.) Don and I wanted to run up there for a quick minute and grab some food for the evening. Things seemed to be okay when we got back. We had a outstanding time hanging out with our friends. Once we got back to the grind Don had expressed how unhappy he was at the job he had to take. His wonderful friend Allen who he worked with at Malone told him about a position in Baltimore, that seemed to good to pass up.
Hesitant, but knowing that I could not be selfish in this matter I told him to go ahead and interview for the spot. I've never lived far away from home before. God knows with my anxiety problems and depression it might do me some good. We drove up to Baltimore the first weekend of July and met with the guys at Mission Media. I was excited to be in a different city, more excited for Don who to me look like he just found a pot of gold. It took some talking over with my family to see if I was really going to be making the correct decision. Upon arriving home from our weekend I found out that my best friends were having a baby..was this going to make it harder for me to leave? First I thought leaving my family would be hard, but now my friends? Still knowing that I couldn't let Don pass up a great opportunity we started to make the arrangements to move to Baltimore. I was able to transfer with my current job which was a plus cause not job huntin for me is a good thing. I mean I worked so hard to get where I was and had to deal with so much shit, I really didn't want to start over.
We moved our lives in only 3 weeks. Don started the very next day after we made it to town. I stayed home for a week to unpack and get things ready. I started my job at Davidson Beauty as a sales consultant. Needless to say, I hate sales I never wanted to do sales and I still don't like sales. The job didn't seem right from the very start. My accounts were being changed around and stolen right from underneath me. This was on a monthly basis. I didn't feel like I belonged with those people. I was starting to hate my job, I was starting to hate Baltimore and I was starting to loath Don for making me move. I was getting more and more jealous of the people he was meeting at his job. I was getting frustrated because I wasn't making any friends, I talked to Ashlee and my mom every morning and just cried. I missed them so much and just wanted to move back home. On top of feeling like shit because I missed everyone so much. Don's mother came into town and the shit hit the fan with that one. She doesn't like me, never has. I don't think it's really anything I've ever done...I'm just not Bobbi, never have tried to be her. I just wanted to love Don and have him love me. I was never out to make his mom hate me. I did everything in my heart to make her understand that I was a good person. But I failed and we're on non speaking terms. None the less my parents came up for my birthday in Oct. For the time they were here...I was at my happiest in Baltimore. I was back home shortly thereafter for Thanksgiving where I spent the week with my sister and my family. Came back to Baltimore still stressed out and depressed telling myself that as soon as a year is up...we're out.
Christmas came, and so did our engagement. It was sweet, Don said it was partly for me cleaning the entire apartment while he slept in until 3, for moving with him to Baltimore and taking the risk. It was pure excitement. I was happy to be with him and things didn't seem so horrible for a minute. That minute was when I was in Ohio with my family and my now 6 month prego best friend. We came back to Baltimore I felt like moving here helped with Don in asking me to marry him. I felt like there was a reason I was out here and I was going to make the best of it.
I've gained about 20lbs since being out here. On top of being depressed and alone most of the time (since Don doesn't get home sometimes until 8) you know didn't really make any friends. Work was really starting to fucking suck. My boss Charles "Chad" Howard was a complete fucker. He would say things to me like "well maybe you're not happy with yourself, did you ever think that it's not 'Maryland' that's the problem but 'Mary'? I was in my head of rage like "No you flaming mother fucker, it's you and your office of fucking monkeys and robots that have me hating this place. Not to mention everywhere I go the people are fucking rude, I can't make friends cause at this point I think everyone is trying to fuck with me or fuck my fiance! I work my ass off just so that you can come over to my desk and belittle me and make me feel like I'm just this dumb little girl from Ohio. YOU'RE FROM OHIO YOU FUCK! You grew up in the most white trash area I know! The only reason why you make fun of it so much is because of your close minded family full of redneck drunks that couldn't accept the fact that you're gay! Don't try and make me look the naive one here asshole! I didn't run away from my fucking family cause they hate me, in fact the love me so much they begged me not to move out here. What the hell do you have? Your fucking house on 5 arces of land and dogs that you breed. You find joy in meeting random boys at pride and having sex with them in the public bathrooms. I'm unhappy with myself? Look in the mirror you fat piece of shit and tell me who's unhappy!" I just quit that job the other day.
Finally I think I know what I'm supposed to be doing here in Baltimore. I got a really great opportunity to work and learn at this nearby beauty school. I've been hanging out with mohnani a lot more, which is nice cause here we're neighbors and didn't know it until just recently. She works with Don at Mission, she does film for Mission Film...which I found out isn't really apart of Mission Media..but it is..but it isn't. I start my new job, I've started to slowly work out a little, and we'll see what happens from there. Hopefully something good. It all happens for a reason anyway right?
ex.oh.ex.oh.
No I didn't get the job at the bank, thank God for that. After being utterly disappointed at myself for not getting the job at the bank, I continued to work at the bar. Finally my break came when Shaun (my best friend in the whole world) got me a job with him at this beauty supply company. I was doing customer service work, didn't really care for it...but hey I wasn't at a white trash bar with a bunch of drunks. Don and I went to Seattle my second week at the new job. It was planned before I was even interviewing at the bank so things were cool. Once we got back we broke our lease at Timber Top, due to violence, scum, and simply not feeling safe at night. We moved up the street from Chapel Hill Mall into the cutest townhouses. Hunters Lake would be home for over the next year. I was starting to feel bored and frustrated making little to no money doing customer service work. I heard of an opening in the accounting building and jumped on it! I got a position as a collector, the hours were the same and things seemed to be looking up for me. Don and I were having our ups and downs. A lot of the problems were still based around his ex girlfriend Bobbi and some stupid internet whores that he was having a problem letting go of. Oh and with his mother, it seemed like no matter what I did...I could do no right for that lady. We tried having her over for dinner, invited her over to my parents house for the holidays...still nothing.
The summer of '05 brought us new challenges. Ashlee (my best friend who is married to Shaun my other best friend) and I started to work out. She lost 50lbs and I lost only about 15lbs. Feeling good about ourselves and our friendship nothing really seemed to be bugging us except for the simple fact that I was depressed. Don had lost his job in Feb. and was forced to take some shitty job because his unemployment was going to run out. We all went camping the weekend of July 4th. In the middle of Pa. (don't worry there was a Wal-mart about 10 minutes from our site.) Don and I wanted to run up there for a quick minute and grab some food for the evening. Things seemed to be okay when we got back. We had a outstanding time hanging out with our friends. Once we got back to the grind Don had expressed how unhappy he was at the job he had to take. His wonderful friend Allen who he worked with at Malone told him about a position in Baltimore, that seemed to good to pass up.
Hesitant, but knowing that I could not be selfish in this matter I told him to go ahead and interview for the spot. I've never lived far away from home before. God knows with my anxiety problems and depression it might do me some good. We drove up to Baltimore the first weekend of July and met with the guys at Mission Media. I was excited to be in a different city, more excited for Don who to me look like he just found a pot of gold. It took some talking over with my family to see if I was really going to be making the correct decision. Upon arriving home from our weekend I found out that my best friends were having a baby..was this going to make it harder for me to leave? First I thought leaving my family would be hard, but now my friends? Still knowing that I couldn't let Don pass up a great opportunity we started to make the arrangements to move to Baltimore. I was able to transfer with my current job which was a plus cause not job huntin for me is a good thing. I mean I worked so hard to get where I was and had to deal with so much shit, I really didn't want to start over.
We moved our lives in only 3 weeks. Don started the very next day after we made it to town. I stayed home for a week to unpack and get things ready. I started my job at Davidson Beauty as a sales consultant. Needless to say, I hate sales I never wanted to do sales and I still don't like sales. The job didn't seem right from the very start. My accounts were being changed around and stolen right from underneath me. This was on a monthly basis. I didn't feel like I belonged with those people. I was starting to hate my job, I was starting to hate Baltimore and I was starting to loath Don for making me move. I was getting more and more jealous of the people he was meeting at his job. I was getting frustrated because I wasn't making any friends, I talked to Ashlee and my mom every morning and just cried. I missed them so much and just wanted to move back home. On top of feeling like shit because I missed everyone so much. Don's mother came into town and the shit hit the fan with that one. She doesn't like me, never has. I don't think it's really anything I've ever done...I'm just not Bobbi, never have tried to be her. I just wanted to love Don and have him love me. I was never out to make his mom hate me. I did everything in my heart to make her understand that I was a good person. But I failed and we're on non speaking terms. None the less my parents came up for my birthday in Oct. For the time they were here...I was at my happiest in Baltimore. I was back home shortly thereafter for Thanksgiving where I spent the week with my sister and my family. Came back to Baltimore still stressed out and depressed telling myself that as soon as a year is up...we're out.
Christmas came, and so did our engagement. It was sweet, Don said it was partly for me cleaning the entire apartment while he slept in until 3, for moving with him to Baltimore and taking the risk. It was pure excitement. I was happy to be with him and things didn't seem so horrible for a minute. That minute was when I was in Ohio with my family and my now 6 month prego best friend. We came back to Baltimore I felt like moving here helped with Don in asking me to marry him. I felt like there was a reason I was out here and I was going to make the best of it.
I've gained about 20lbs since being out here. On top of being depressed and alone most of the time (since Don doesn't get home sometimes until 8) you know didn't really make any friends. Work was really starting to fucking suck. My boss Charles "Chad" Howard was a complete fucker. He would say things to me like "well maybe you're not happy with yourself, did you ever think that it's not 'Maryland' that's the problem but 'Mary'? I was in my head of rage like "No you flaming mother fucker, it's you and your office of fucking monkeys and robots that have me hating this place. Not to mention everywhere I go the people are fucking rude, I can't make friends cause at this point I think everyone is trying to fuck with me or fuck my fiance! I work my ass off just so that you can come over to my desk and belittle me and make me feel like I'm just this dumb little girl from Ohio. YOU'RE FROM OHIO YOU FUCK! You grew up in the most white trash area I know! The only reason why you make fun of it so much is because of your close minded family full of redneck drunks that couldn't accept the fact that you're gay! Don't try and make me look the naive one here asshole! I didn't run away from my fucking family cause they hate me, in fact the love me so much they begged me not to move out here. What the hell do you have? Your fucking house on 5 arces of land and dogs that you breed. You find joy in meeting random boys at pride and having sex with them in the public bathrooms. I'm unhappy with myself? Look in the mirror you fat piece of shit and tell me who's unhappy!" I just quit that job the other day.
Finally I think I know what I'm supposed to be doing here in Baltimore. I got a really great opportunity to work and learn at this nearby beauty school. I've been hanging out with mohnani a lot more, which is nice cause here we're neighbors and didn't know it until just recently. She works with Don at Mission, she does film for Mission Film...which I found out isn't really apart of Mission Media..but it is..but it isn't. I start my new job, I've started to slowly work out a little, and we'll see what happens from there. Hopefully something good. It all happens for a reason anyway right?
ex.oh.ex.oh.