my near death experience
last night i enjoyed the opportunity to be beaten to a bloody pulp by 15 year olds. i'll start where its really begins;
after a night of jiving at the edge, a friend and i waited for some other friends outside the club. a few students from the luton university came along who claimed to have won a cardboard lifesize penguin for drinking four drinks from a nearby pub. we exhcnaged small talk, jibed each other about luton which proved to be a jovial affair. while attempting to flirt a young girl who can't have be more than 14 years old with scraped back hair walked past me screaming "he's da wun hoo wuz frowin' chikkin at me abowt two owars ago!", i was slow to realise she was referring to me. i knew the accusation was false but because i hadn't quite understood the scenario i just blanked it out dispondently then out of my peripheral vision a group then barged past me which i repsonded with something similar to "what do you think you're fucking doing?". this group of 6 or 7 were maybe an average age of 16, mostly boys. "you startin' on ma sista? fuckin' perv' pussy". i rambled in swears, it was all a blur really but words were exchanged and i gave my fair share of abuse back mostly telling them to 'do your homework', 'go home, half term is over' or 'walk on you prepubescent pricks'. due to the bad week that i'd had and due to my newly found machismo confidence brought about by regular weight lifting i was ready and almost eager to 'engage' but i knew the philosopher was still there in my head reasoning that these were kids and violence solves no problems, especially not the NHS waiting lists. then one of the more hooded characters withdrew a claw hammer. unperturbed i said with a loutish swagger something like 'don't show it off if you want to use it'. he was increasingly angered by this and i knew i was being bravely stupid or stupidly brave but somehow i knew he wasn't prepared to use it because the fashion he withdrew the hammer was more for presentation than for intention. as he danced around pretending to want to use his tool the girl who had accused me of the original crime of throwing chicken at her was effortlessly holding him back sometimes not even helping him back at all so there was nothing stopping him from acting out his promised screams, he bottled it. fortunately however, just incase anything did happen a bouncer was alerted by the noise and used his radio. the students and my friends were quite shaken but fortunately didn't back down, i stood strong but didn't want abbrasions or death. within seconds they scarpered down the road, to soon be arrested (many of them) for carrying weapons. after they'd left i was trembling, the adrenalin was running in my legs and i could feel the ground rocking beneath me. despite my front i was truly scared.
alcohol can drive a man wild but boredom can drive a man crazy!
after a night of jiving at the edge, a friend and i waited for some other friends outside the club. a few students from the luton university came along who claimed to have won a cardboard lifesize penguin for drinking four drinks from a nearby pub. we exhcnaged small talk, jibed each other about luton which proved to be a jovial affair. while attempting to flirt a young girl who can't have be more than 14 years old with scraped back hair walked past me screaming "he's da wun hoo wuz frowin' chikkin at me abowt two owars ago!", i was slow to realise she was referring to me. i knew the accusation was false but because i hadn't quite understood the scenario i just blanked it out dispondently then out of my peripheral vision a group then barged past me which i repsonded with something similar to "what do you think you're fucking doing?". this group of 6 or 7 were maybe an average age of 16, mostly boys. "you startin' on ma sista? fuckin' perv' pussy". i rambled in swears, it was all a blur really but words were exchanged and i gave my fair share of abuse back mostly telling them to 'do your homework', 'go home, half term is over' or 'walk on you prepubescent pricks'. due to the bad week that i'd had and due to my newly found machismo confidence brought about by regular weight lifting i was ready and almost eager to 'engage' but i knew the philosopher was still there in my head reasoning that these were kids and violence solves no problems, especially not the NHS waiting lists. then one of the more hooded characters withdrew a claw hammer. unperturbed i said with a loutish swagger something like 'don't show it off if you want to use it'. he was increasingly angered by this and i knew i was being bravely stupid or stupidly brave but somehow i knew he wasn't prepared to use it because the fashion he withdrew the hammer was more for presentation than for intention. as he danced around pretending to want to use his tool the girl who had accused me of the original crime of throwing chicken at her was effortlessly holding him back sometimes not even helping him back at all so there was nothing stopping him from acting out his promised screams, he bottled it. fortunately however, just incase anything did happen a bouncer was alerted by the noise and used his radio. the students and my friends were quite shaken but fortunately didn't back down, i stood strong but didn't want abbrasions or death. within seconds they scarpered down the road, to soon be arrested (many of them) for carrying weapons. after they'd left i was trembling, the adrenalin was running in my legs and i could feel the ground rocking beneath me. despite my front i was truly scared.
alcohol can drive a man wild but boredom can drive a man crazy!