second chances...
i used to believe in second chances. i thought that if he wanted to try again then it would be better the second time around. it definitely wasn't... it actually turned out to be worse then the 1st time. ever since then i told myself i would never give a guy a second chance because it juss wouldn't be worth it, and all i would end up with is a broken heart.
my life has been so hectic lately. i even put off worrying about stupid boys... but then theres matt. he called me everyday this week, and i tried not to make anything out of it because i knew that things couldn't work out, not after what he said to me. i didn't answer half his calls, and when i did i made excuses to get off the phone. today was his birthday, i called on my way to work and we talked for a little bit, he went off and partied with his friends. my phone rang at midnight and he asked if he could come over and see me. well of course i told him yes, since i kinda wanted to see him too. well 5 min. outside my house turned into 1 hour, which then turned into 2. i'm still not sure what to think, or whats going to happen with us. but i do know how much i used to like him, and how much fun we had together. i used to think he would be the one i needed.
not even 3 min. after he left i got a text.
"i've missed it."
it brought a tear to my eye, because i've missed it too.
and the thing is, i know he means it. tonight he showed me a side i wasn't sure i'd ever see. all along i tried to believe he didn't really like me that much. but now i see he really does. there is no other girl, there never was. there was only me. so now the question arises... do i give it a second chance? should i find out what could come of matt and i? or should i go back to what i've been doing, having no one "officially"... but yet caring so much about him its crazy.
i'm in a weird predicament. i love someone, but i want to love someone else.
who would have thought? i thought it was over, but now i see it hasn't even begun.
<3 mercedes.