A Week Later...
Well still a week later Im still in love with nick! But alot happened this weekend. So I dont really think anything interesting happened during the week. But friday night I stayed at felecias house. Damn I cant really remember what happened lol.oh yeah we went out to dinner with Andrew and Melissa. We went to apple bees. I had a kiwi lemonade!? It was so good! Mommy said it tasted like a margarita. Then mommy asks me if im pregnant!! I automatically was like no!? but that got me thinking... I dont remember having a period last month.. So I am/ was freaking out cus I dont really think a baby is whats best for me right now!! But I have gained weight and kinda been craving alot of food. But no many symptoms. But I dont think I am.. Its just my period still hasnt come like a week later..And ya know how moms just sometimes know shit?.. Well the only other time she ever asked me if I was, was when I was probably actually pregnant! So I am alittle worried. But honestly... part of me is hoping that i would be cus that would be something to keep nick by me.. And that so pathetic! But thats how it is.. I am so pathetically in love with this guy that I am thinking this stupidly!! But today felecia talked to nick and I went to the corner pocket with kaleb and micheal(?) Well I guess felecia and nick smoked?.. And didnt talk too much but what she did tell me was basically that nick wouldnt be with me even if he could actually be in a relationship right now... He would want one with kristie.. Which makes me so jealous! I mean why cant he want me back!? I love him and dont care I accept all that shit that is going on with him and still love him and would want to be with him.. I even wouldnt care what mommy and daddy said about him! But nope he just doesnt like me... He said he loves me but not in the way I want him to. And that he will have my back and shit but still..God it hurts so bad! Especially now where I am wondering if Im pregnant Im thinking damn.. What the fuck would I really do if I got pregnant!? I know nick wouldnt be there! He already has enough with caitlyn and THAT baby! but mommy and daddy would be there for me I know that but I just dont even know Im honestly scared... But just kinda hopeful too...I dont even know why I fucking love him!?!?! Anyways yesterday me and felecia went to kalebs in the morning and then I went home and had to do some stuff for mommy and then later on I went a stupid party of maries for like 3 hours with mommy and daddy. And then I left with uncle angelo and chey and they dropped me off at kalebs. me and felecia were supposed to be home before 1030pm. Well it was barely 9pm! And we were at felecias getting her stuff. and then mommy calls me basically telling me something happened had me all worried and it turns out she just wanted to go to bed! So she was like you need to come home as soon as possible! I asked why and she if something happened and she told me she couldn't tell me right now! I went home right away!but I was pissesd felecia was staying the night so I just told her to go to my room and i went and bitched mommy out about how all she wants to do is go to parties and drink a whole bottle of wine and then go to sleep! Then me and felecia talked and stuff. Today we had breakfast and then took showers and stuff and ?I looked really cute today. BUT when we went to kalebs...nick was there! I actually for a while had myself not thinking about him as much and had myself thinking i was over him-Im not... The second I saw him and heard he was there I just got that feeling in my chest.. I dont know how to explain it but that feeling is what lets me know I love this guy! Well I just went pee and I started my period... I am sorta disappointed..I really kinda wanted a baby, his baby.. =/ But me and jordan also went to Pueblo today to the lake. But Im gonna get off now.. Kinda sad about it. but I really like mark too and i just told him about the situation with nick and all..