I know you well enough to know you'll never love me.
no fucking way man,
I finally got to watch the OC again after the whole shitty summer. I cried alot, Idk im such an emotional person... its bad. But I was also cryin cuz my moms pullin her bullshit with me again. She told me that she'd go half on my school ring with dad, then she calls back crying saying that my dads draining her of all her money, and she cant pay anymore over the child support checks. Shes crying saying that shes gunna lose her house, her fiance, me and samantha, and her job and she doesnt know where she'll be left. She told me that shes trying to get samantha back so that she doesnt have to pay that much that she doesnt have, and I was like ok.... and shes like well I guess since ur ordering a class ring, u plan to stay there. I dont wanna fucking leave again. I already had to leave Putnam Valley where my best friends are who are like family to me, and now im making best friends here, and she wants me to leave this. I cant fucking go through that shit again. All Ill be, is depressed and I cant go down like this. Ever since I've moved here, ive changed for the better meaning my moral views, more into school, thinking more of my future, more respect for my parents... Its a good thing. And then my mom askes me last night. Well u need to tell me right now, are u coming back home? I felt so out of place, and I couldnt believe I was being put up to this shit. I cant deal with the shit that Im going through... It seems so fake bc this is the shit people go through on tv, not real life.... And im living this life. But like I said, I do wanna move back with mom sometimes, but I also think shes full of pure shit. I cant listen to her most of the time and take her serious bc I think her fiance is sitting there coaching her. I really dont know what to think anymore. My life is going down the drain, and me going through all of this so fast all the time, is going to cause me to become a failure and is going to make me not give a shit about anything. So for now, Im not gunna talk to my mom for a little bit untill she chills the fuck out, and untill I feel like I can talk to her and not have to hysterically cry again like I did last night. As much as I kno my moms a fucking liar about losing everything, I still cant sit here and think about my mom failing as well. I only want the best for my mom and dad, I want them both happy. But what made me happy last night, is that my dad promised me that my mom would be ok. Its been the first time in a long time, that my dad promised me good for my mom. Even tho they are rivals, I just feel good inside when they'll get along for me.
When I was younger, all I wanted was daddy and mommy to be together again. I couldnt cope with the fact that Daddy was gone, and I was only going to see Mommy. And when daddy promised me to come visit me, Id get all dressed up special, and sit at the kitchen window until he came to see me, but he never showed up. Now Daddy is here for me, and I feel like im going to be waiting for mommy for a long time before she comes running to see me from Rex. "I know you well enough to know you'll never love me..." All I want is to love someone, and have some one love me back, Thats it. But thats too much to ask for I guess.
The End... theres my pathetic life for u people. If you dont like it then go fuck off bc I could care less.
I finally got to watch the OC again after the whole shitty summer. I cried alot, Idk im such an emotional person... its bad. But I was also cryin cuz my moms pullin her bullshit with me again. She told me that she'd go half on my school ring with dad, then she calls back crying saying that my dads draining her of all her money, and she cant pay anymore over the child support checks. Shes crying saying that shes gunna lose her house, her fiance, me and samantha, and her job and she doesnt know where she'll be left. She told me that shes trying to get samantha back so that she doesnt have to pay that much that she doesnt have, and I was like ok.... and shes like well I guess since ur ordering a class ring, u plan to stay there. I dont wanna fucking leave again. I already had to leave Putnam Valley where my best friends are who are like family to me, and now im making best friends here, and she wants me to leave this. I cant fucking go through that shit again. All Ill be, is depressed and I cant go down like this. Ever since I've moved here, ive changed for the better meaning my moral views, more into school, thinking more of my future, more respect for my parents... Its a good thing. And then my mom askes me last night. Well u need to tell me right now, are u coming back home? I felt so out of place, and I couldnt believe I was being put up to this shit. I cant deal with the shit that Im going through... It seems so fake bc this is the shit people go through on tv, not real life.... And im living this life. But like I said, I do wanna move back with mom sometimes, but I also think shes full of pure shit. I cant listen to her most of the time and take her serious bc I think her fiance is sitting there coaching her. I really dont know what to think anymore. My life is going down the drain, and me going through all of this so fast all the time, is going to cause me to become a failure and is going to make me not give a shit about anything. So for now, Im not gunna talk to my mom for a little bit untill she chills the fuck out, and untill I feel like I can talk to her and not have to hysterically cry again like I did last night. As much as I kno my moms a fucking liar about losing everything, I still cant sit here and think about my mom failing as well. I only want the best for my mom and dad, I want them both happy. But what made me happy last night, is that my dad promised me that my mom would be ok. Its been the first time in a long time, that my dad promised me good for my mom. Even tho they are rivals, I just feel good inside when they'll get along for me.
When I was younger, all I wanted was daddy and mommy to be together again. I couldnt cope with the fact that Daddy was gone, and I was only going to see Mommy. And when daddy promised me to come visit me, Id get all dressed up special, and sit at the kitchen window until he came to see me, but he never showed up. Now Daddy is here for me, and I feel like im going to be waiting for mommy for a long time before she comes running to see me from Rex. "I know you well enough to know you'll never love me..." All I want is to love someone, and have some one love me back, Thats it. But thats too much to ask for I guess.
The End... theres my pathetic life for u people. If you dont like it then go fuck off bc I could care less.