Shine on, shine on DiAmOnD eyes....
hey hey hey....
Been really fuckin tired lately, and I got sick 2 days after I got over my cold. This blows. I wanna move back to NY with my mom, but my dad wont let me just go. But my mom made me cry yesterday when i talked to her about it, and she said that she doesnt care about the money, she'll come get me and she'll fight a lifetime to have me back. I started to hysterically cry cuz I miss her so much and It doesnt feel right not being with her. I went to her house 2 weekends ago for a day. I saw Rex, I thought we would fight the second I saw him, but he actually came over to me and gave me a hug. I felt out of place in my moms new house. Maybe because I've never been there before, and theres a whole freakin house to themselves. Its a realllllly nice house and I wanna go back soon.
I told my mom to wait about going to court to get me back, because Martin gave me good advice not to make decisions when you're angry. He's the one that actually calmed me down the 2 days ago when I got in a huge fight AGAIN, I was about to pack all my shit and leave that day. But I decided to stick it out a little longer, and take it easy and try not to explode... We'll see how long that lasts. But I mean if I can do it, then maybe Ill be able to see how it is here from another perspective.
Even tho id really like to be with my mom again, closer to my best friends that are like family to me, have my own room, have more freedom, less responsibilities. But here, I dont wanna leave my new friends, new enviroment (not soo cool but i make it fun), and my Shealah! I have problems here everyday. Whether its big or small, it gets aggrivating.
2 days ago, My dad told me that I need therepy and that I was stupid, and MKimberly told me that I need medication bc I cant control my emotions. I can control myself, but what I do is that, its hard for me to express myself to everyone here bc it seems like they dont care. And when they ask me whats wrong, I try to tell them, but I get interupted constantly, or they listen, but twist around everything I just said. It makes me so angry. But I hold everything in, and they dont understand that when 1 more thing is put on me, I cant take it anymore and I explode. I have to let everything out when im angry bc it seems like thats my time to shine, every1 is paying attention, so I speak my mind. Afterwards I feel kinda better bc I feel empty of my frustrations, but still upset bc of what happened.
Halloween is right around the corner, not sure what Im doing yet, but Ill be with Shealah, and maybe Janelle my love.
Im so fucking angry. I have to miss another party in PV for my girls. Bc my fucking dad wont drive me. Maybe I can see if he'll let Kimberly drive me, but I doubt it. If I cant, then Im going to the show with Armando, and Tassy and Anna and A.B., then A.B's party on Saturday.
I feel like shit.
Im happy I get to see Jaime later.:D Im making him go to A.B's party.. heh heh ;) lol
Been really fuckin tired lately, and I got sick 2 days after I got over my cold. This blows. I wanna move back to NY with my mom, but my dad wont let me just go. But my mom made me cry yesterday when i talked to her about it, and she said that she doesnt care about the money, she'll come get me and she'll fight a lifetime to have me back. I started to hysterically cry cuz I miss her so much and It doesnt feel right not being with her. I went to her house 2 weekends ago for a day. I saw Rex, I thought we would fight the second I saw him, but he actually came over to me and gave me a hug. I felt out of place in my moms new house. Maybe because I've never been there before, and theres a whole freakin house to themselves. Its a realllllly nice house and I wanna go back soon.
I told my mom to wait about going to court to get me back, because Martin gave me good advice not to make decisions when you're angry. He's the one that actually calmed me down the 2 days ago when I got in a huge fight AGAIN, I was about to pack all my shit and leave that day. But I decided to stick it out a little longer, and take it easy and try not to explode... We'll see how long that lasts. But I mean if I can do it, then maybe Ill be able to see how it is here from another perspective.
Even tho id really like to be with my mom again, closer to my best friends that are like family to me, have my own room, have more freedom, less responsibilities. But here, I dont wanna leave my new friends, new enviroment (not soo cool but i make it fun), and my Shealah! I have problems here everyday. Whether its big or small, it gets aggrivating.
2 days ago, My dad told me that I need therepy and that I was stupid, and MKimberly told me that I need medication bc I cant control my emotions. I can control myself, but what I do is that, its hard for me to express myself to everyone here bc it seems like they dont care. And when they ask me whats wrong, I try to tell them, but I get interupted constantly, or they listen, but twist around everything I just said. It makes me so angry. But I hold everything in, and they dont understand that when 1 more thing is put on me, I cant take it anymore and I explode. I have to let everything out when im angry bc it seems like thats my time to shine, every1 is paying attention, so I speak my mind. Afterwards I feel kinda better bc I feel empty of my frustrations, but still upset bc of what happened.
Halloween is right around the corner, not sure what Im doing yet, but Ill be with Shealah, and maybe Janelle my love.
Im so fucking angry. I have to miss another party in PV for my girls. Bc my fucking dad wont drive me. Maybe I can see if he'll let Kimberly drive me, but I doubt it. If I cant, then Im going to the show with Armando, and Tassy and Anna and A.B., then A.B's party on Saturday.
I feel like shit.
Im happy I get to see Jaime later.:D Im making him go to A.B's party.. heh heh ;) lol