Blarg. Work. Meh.
So, within my department at work, we kind of have this weird, forest creature, pseudo-family dynamic. There is the Bosslady, who is sort of the Mama Bear. There's me, the Angry Squirrel. And there's Little Brother, the innocent little doe eyed deer (AKA Bambi). There used to be another Little Brother, but he moved over to a different department, one that is more in line with sales, about a year ago. And now Little Brother Bambi is moving there too.
Yesterday, he jokes around that I'm like the bird from those old cartoons, the old school Disney vulture ones, that when its parents force it out of the nest, it's like "hey, I'm coming back now" and that won't leave the nest. That I'll never leave the nest, never move on, do the "normal" thing of transferring departments that it seems the boys are doing. Like somehow that is the only option anyone is supposed to take and there is something wrong with me for not taking it.
And it really got under my skin, but not in a way I could really express. I guess I missed the memo that moving over and doing something, anything related to sales was supposed to be everyone's ultimate goal here? Oops, my bad, I'll go look for it now. It frustrates me sometimes to feel like anyone who doesn't do something sales related here really doesn't have any value, doesn't contribute, is worthless.
Sales is not the be-all, end-all. Some people are so ill-suited that attempting to do sales would be disastrous. i.e. me. I can't deal with that. I could never deal with being forced to push credit cards on people when I worked for a bank, and sucked at managing to get people to add extra lotions or whatever at the register when I worked for the bath & body store; hell, I could never even reliably upsell sodas when I worked at the theater!
I hate feeling like this, feeling like I have no value to my company. Like, I've been here forever, and haven't even managed to convince them that I'm valuable enough to get a new title. Like maybe a "senior" in front of my otherwise unimpressive customer service rep title. Like, I just end up feeling so bitter, that I'm the weird kid on the playground no one else wants to play with so the management can't see that I have value and deserve some recognition for it, but I'm not quite useless enough/weird enough/disruptive enough to warrant them being like "yeah, lets can her." Not that I want to not have a job, but being in that middle space is a head trip sometimes.
I wonder sometimes where I'm supposed to go from here, really. Like, within my company, there isn't anywhere else to go, I can't really be promoted in any meaningful way, even if someone did start to think one day that I might deserve it. But how marketable are my skills, really? I work in a really specific industry of customer service, and there aren't that many local companies in the same category where my experience, what little three years really is, would be marketable or wanted. I don't want to go to a call center, I'd hate it there. I already am at my wits end just handling 3-4 calls an hour here, 30-40 calls (or more!) per hour would kill me. So is the last three years of work I've done, the experience I supposedly got, just worthless after all?
Therapy is supposed to be helping with this stuff, but recently we've been dealing more with relationship stuff. Which is good, getting me and Ninja Boyfriend communicating more/better is a good goal and a good plan. But having this work stuff feeling like a festering pit of suck isn't doing much to help my overall mood and outlook on life. Gah. Maybe more coffee would help.
Yesterday, he jokes around that I'm like the bird from those old cartoons, the old school Disney vulture ones, that when its parents force it out of the nest, it's like "hey, I'm coming back now" and that won't leave the nest. That I'll never leave the nest, never move on, do the "normal" thing of transferring departments that it seems the boys are doing. Like somehow that is the only option anyone is supposed to take and there is something wrong with me for not taking it.
And it really got under my skin, but not in a way I could really express. I guess I missed the memo that moving over and doing something, anything related to sales was supposed to be everyone's ultimate goal here? Oops, my bad, I'll go look for it now. It frustrates me sometimes to feel like anyone who doesn't do something sales related here really doesn't have any value, doesn't contribute, is worthless.
Sales is not the be-all, end-all. Some people are so ill-suited that attempting to do sales would be disastrous. i.e. me. I can't deal with that. I could never deal with being forced to push credit cards on people when I worked for a bank, and sucked at managing to get people to add extra lotions or whatever at the register when I worked for the bath & body store; hell, I could never even reliably upsell sodas when I worked at the theater!
I hate feeling like this, feeling like I have no value to my company. Like, I've been here forever, and haven't even managed to convince them that I'm valuable enough to get a new title. Like maybe a "senior" in front of my otherwise unimpressive customer service rep title. Like, I just end up feeling so bitter, that I'm the weird kid on the playground no one else wants to play with so the management can't see that I have value and deserve some recognition for it, but I'm not quite useless enough/weird enough/disruptive enough to warrant them being like "yeah, lets can her." Not that I want to not have a job, but being in that middle space is a head trip sometimes.
I wonder sometimes where I'm supposed to go from here, really. Like, within my company, there isn't anywhere else to go, I can't really be promoted in any meaningful way, even if someone did start to think one day that I might deserve it. But how marketable are my skills, really? I work in a really specific industry of customer service, and there aren't that many local companies in the same category where my experience, what little three years really is, would be marketable or wanted. I don't want to go to a call center, I'd hate it there. I already am at my wits end just handling 3-4 calls an hour here, 30-40 calls (or more!) per hour would kill me. So is the last three years of work I've done, the experience I supposedly got, just worthless after all?
Therapy is supposed to be helping with this stuff, but recently we've been dealing more with relationship stuff. Which is good, getting me and Ninja Boyfriend communicating more/better is a good goal and a good plan. But having this work stuff feeling like a festering pit of suck isn't doing much to help my overall mood and outlook on life. Gah. Maybe more coffee would help.