the sounding board...
so i'm in the campus center with kara and janer... janer wanted to kill time, and rather than me killing time in my room, i'm killing time with my sis and my "girlfriend" (janer and kara), haha! sitting here in silence with these two, as campus center mixes run in the background, is surprisingly soothing...
it's been a pretty involved couple of days:
friday... hung out with kiley in andre lobby and talked about the experiences that have made this an amazing year, as we looked forward to next year... nancy called before rehearsal, so we talked for over an hour about our favorite classical works, and caught up on our tv conversations... long choir rehearsal, making the decision to sing the majority of the requiem rather than play a couple of notes on the bassoon... ended up tuning the "harp," which served to be a distraction to rasmussen, him calling jaylene and i the "harp people..." ended up having a second dinner at soo yuan despite an antisocial mood, eating at the vegetarian table with kiley, alyssa, eunice, han, and bryce...
saturday... decided to continue my personal sabbath and not go to church... however, i did chill with darrin at desk until our call time... he gave me quick desk-worker orientation, taught me some beginning classical guitar techniques, and i helped him plan his program order for his recital... cory set himself up for jokes by telling me not to touch his pie while he left, which resulted in me hiding everything of his but his pie... had a quick discussion with darrin, cory, and andy about programatic music in church, and darrin's hilarious imagery of killing a walrus and lifting up its bloody head, if rasmussen would crack the joke about the song title of one of our songs: "set me as a seal..." also planned some hilarity for our final concert, saying that we were going to be buck naked under our robes, and when the final line of the creation would come up, we would each jump forward and flash the audience... hilarious...
concert went well... a couple of random things here and there that didn't fall in place... i served as pitch pipe again for the icantori portion, and felt like i was sight-reading the requiem choir parts, but it turned out okay... after the concert, andy, darrin, and i made a quick safeway stop to help andy buy stuff for SA... after some quick study time, darrin and i watched "lucky number slevin" and were pleasantly surprised at how amazing that movie was, considering it was pre-empted by low-budget previews... that movie is now officially on my top ten... since i had the desire to be around people that night, rather than being my usual antisocial self, i stayed in his room as the two of us worked on our respective papers and projects...
sunday... had an early morning breakfast with jill and jeremy, since they came up for vespers... yvonne, cara, andy, and angela were there, and it made for interesting "three truths and a lie" stories... they left after jeremy's goofy expression of love... practiced with kara later, then napped in the lounge for two hours and working on my time capsule, coming out of my hole to listen to christina and annie's senior piano recital... enjoyed some really amazing food, before having to deal with some family issues...
joseph called me to talk to jason... i called pamela for quick advice before calling jason... i called jason and couldn't keep my composure as i couldn't do anything to help him... called pamela, crying, from the conversation i had... called my dad and talked to him to convince him to go about the issues in a different way... my dad called me a good counselor, saying that i should become a pastor or counselor on the side... called jason back to tell him what i did for him... overall, spent a good two hours on the phone, trying to work through everything...
cory was feeling really sick, so i made a quick safeway run to grab him some drugs and soup... helped darrin fix a computer problem... needed to feel like i was helping people, after not being within close proximity of my family who i felt like i needed to be with... also gave up on my time capsule after reaching six pages, so i just turned it in in the state it was when i hit the minimum number of pages...
yesterday... no icantori provided for a quick conversation with darrin about the fine line of art music and pop music that dr ness slaughtered in his presentation for music history, and a pretty decent lunch and ice cream feed with the usual ice cream lunch bunch (nadia, jeanne, and darrin), kiley, phuc, and andy, with phuc treating out pretty much the entire table b/c he was under on his caf card... had lunch with the lunch bunch today after our ice cream feed in chorale today...
recital day... kara was the first number, so i accompanied her... it went really well, in my opinion... my organ piece could've went a little better, but i don't think the mistakes were as noticable... didn't stay for the entire thing, b/c i didn't have dinner... went up to the caf with janer and kara and decided that since the food was really disappointing that we'd make a run to golden harvest... we drove down, grabbed some food to go, and decided to have dinner in paulin... janer practiced, kara did some homework, and we pretty much chilled in the lounge until martin kicked us out past eleven for lock-up, with jaylene and darrin dropping by... cory stopped by to pick up his food right as we were kicked out, calling us his "favorite asian people," haha...
got back to my room pretty late after dropping the girls off, and needed a sounding board to talk through certain things on my mind... dropped by cory's room and hung out there, talking until past 2:30 in the morning... played some guitar and talked about a lot... that guy pleasantly surprised me with how observant he's been with my current situations... he provided a wealth of good insight into whether or not my thoughts were valid, and it helped to hear the same conclusions i've made about issues from someone else... throw in a bonus of hearing corzie's random interjections and cory's uninhibited tired comments, and it makes for an entertaining conversation...
- - - - - - -
i've always served as the family counselor... whenever i had problems, i could never turn to my parents, b/c i was the one with all the answers... it's a good thing that those situations are few and far between... i've become really good at coming to good personal conclusions and solutions... however, when my parents would get in a fight, i was always the one listening to both sides and trying to get them to come to an understanding... i always served as mediator to my brothers as a kid, which would get taxing when they asked me to choose sides... i'm glad that we've all grown up and gotten past the stupid fights...
now, difficulties within the family are very adult, very real... since we're all very stubborn and individualistic, the fact that everyone's trying to intervene and fix a problem is serious... what made me cry when talking to jason was that i didn't want our family to turn out like dad's, completely separated and isolated, even if we all live within fifteen miles of each other... my brothers and parents are all i have, and i want to hold onto that, and make sure there's no tension between each individual... it's a good thing that these situations only arise once in a blue moon... i love my family... i am blessed to have my family... sometimes, i wish we weren't all so stubborn and unable to show weakness... but that's what makes us so strong...
i think what makes this hard is that i feel like my life is really falling in place, in nearly all aspects... things are working out for me, and things are falling into my lap... i don't have to work very hard to accomplish my goals... why can't others share in my fortune? cory made a statement when i was talking with him yesterday, thinking that God's been blessing me abundantly b/c i've had to endure so much in my life, and this is Him allowing me to follow my heart and finally let me choose the paths ahead of me, knowing that i've set several successful and quality ones up...
- - - - - - -
need to reflect on other things later, or possibly privately... i should get to working on my presentation...
it's been a pretty involved couple of days:
friday... hung out with kiley in andre lobby and talked about the experiences that have made this an amazing year, as we looked forward to next year... nancy called before rehearsal, so we talked for over an hour about our favorite classical works, and caught up on our tv conversations... long choir rehearsal, making the decision to sing the majority of the requiem rather than play a couple of notes on the bassoon... ended up tuning the "harp," which served to be a distraction to rasmussen, him calling jaylene and i the "harp people..." ended up having a second dinner at soo yuan despite an antisocial mood, eating at the vegetarian table with kiley, alyssa, eunice, han, and bryce...
saturday... decided to continue my personal sabbath and not go to church... however, i did chill with darrin at desk until our call time... he gave me quick desk-worker orientation, taught me some beginning classical guitar techniques, and i helped him plan his program order for his recital... cory set himself up for jokes by telling me not to touch his pie while he left, which resulted in me hiding everything of his but his pie... had a quick discussion with darrin, cory, and andy about programatic music in church, and darrin's hilarious imagery of killing a walrus and lifting up its bloody head, if rasmussen would crack the joke about the song title of one of our songs: "set me as a seal..." also planned some hilarity for our final concert, saying that we were going to be buck naked under our robes, and when the final line of the creation would come up, we would each jump forward and flash the audience... hilarious...
concert went well... a couple of random things here and there that didn't fall in place... i served as pitch pipe again for the icantori portion, and felt like i was sight-reading the requiem choir parts, but it turned out okay... after the concert, andy, darrin, and i made a quick safeway stop to help andy buy stuff for SA... after some quick study time, darrin and i watched "lucky number slevin" and were pleasantly surprised at how amazing that movie was, considering it was pre-empted by low-budget previews... that movie is now officially on my top ten... since i had the desire to be around people that night, rather than being my usual antisocial self, i stayed in his room as the two of us worked on our respective papers and projects...
sunday... had an early morning breakfast with jill and jeremy, since they came up for vespers... yvonne, cara, andy, and angela were there, and it made for interesting "three truths and a lie" stories... they left after jeremy's goofy expression of love... practiced with kara later, then napped in the lounge for two hours and working on my time capsule, coming out of my hole to listen to christina and annie's senior piano recital... enjoyed some really amazing food, before having to deal with some family issues...
joseph called me to talk to jason... i called pamela for quick advice before calling jason... i called jason and couldn't keep my composure as i couldn't do anything to help him... called pamela, crying, from the conversation i had... called my dad and talked to him to convince him to go about the issues in a different way... my dad called me a good counselor, saying that i should become a pastor or counselor on the side... called jason back to tell him what i did for him... overall, spent a good two hours on the phone, trying to work through everything...
cory was feeling really sick, so i made a quick safeway run to grab him some drugs and soup... helped darrin fix a computer problem... needed to feel like i was helping people, after not being within close proximity of my family who i felt like i needed to be with... also gave up on my time capsule after reaching six pages, so i just turned it in in the state it was when i hit the minimum number of pages...
yesterday... no icantori provided for a quick conversation with darrin about the fine line of art music and pop music that dr ness slaughtered in his presentation for music history, and a pretty decent lunch and ice cream feed with the usual ice cream lunch bunch (nadia, jeanne, and darrin), kiley, phuc, and andy, with phuc treating out pretty much the entire table b/c he was under on his caf card... had lunch with the lunch bunch today after our ice cream feed in chorale today...
recital day... kara was the first number, so i accompanied her... it went really well, in my opinion... my organ piece could've went a little better, but i don't think the mistakes were as noticable... didn't stay for the entire thing, b/c i didn't have dinner... went up to the caf with janer and kara and decided that since the food was really disappointing that we'd make a run to golden harvest... we drove down, grabbed some food to go, and decided to have dinner in paulin... janer practiced, kara did some homework, and we pretty much chilled in the lounge until martin kicked us out past eleven for lock-up, with jaylene and darrin dropping by... cory stopped by to pick up his food right as we were kicked out, calling us his "favorite asian people," haha...
got back to my room pretty late after dropping the girls off, and needed a sounding board to talk through certain things on my mind... dropped by cory's room and hung out there, talking until past 2:30 in the morning... played some guitar and talked about a lot... that guy pleasantly surprised me with how observant he's been with my current situations... he provided a wealth of good insight into whether or not my thoughts were valid, and it helped to hear the same conclusions i've made about issues from someone else... throw in a bonus of hearing corzie's random interjections and cory's uninhibited tired comments, and it makes for an entertaining conversation...
- - - - - - -
i've always served as the family counselor... whenever i had problems, i could never turn to my parents, b/c i was the one with all the answers... it's a good thing that those situations are few and far between... i've become really good at coming to good personal conclusions and solutions... however, when my parents would get in a fight, i was always the one listening to both sides and trying to get them to come to an understanding... i always served as mediator to my brothers as a kid, which would get taxing when they asked me to choose sides... i'm glad that we've all grown up and gotten past the stupid fights...
now, difficulties within the family are very adult, very real... since we're all very stubborn and individualistic, the fact that everyone's trying to intervene and fix a problem is serious... what made me cry when talking to jason was that i didn't want our family to turn out like dad's, completely separated and isolated, even if we all live within fifteen miles of each other... my brothers and parents are all i have, and i want to hold onto that, and make sure there's no tension between each individual... it's a good thing that these situations only arise once in a blue moon... i love my family... i am blessed to have my family... sometimes, i wish we weren't all so stubborn and unable to show weakness... but that's what makes us so strong...
i think what makes this hard is that i feel like my life is really falling in place, in nearly all aspects... things are working out for me, and things are falling into my lap... i don't have to work very hard to accomplish my goals... why can't others share in my fortune? cory made a statement when i was talking with him yesterday, thinking that God's been blessing me abundantly b/c i've had to endure so much in my life, and this is Him allowing me to follow my heart and finally let me choose the paths ahead of me, knowing that i've set several successful and quality ones up...
- - - - - - -
need to reflect on other things later, or possibly privately... i should get to working on my presentation...