this is where we both go numb now..
don't leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. hmm. just something that made me think. i know it was wrong of me to hang out with him when you were gone. but our lips never met. as if that makes a difference. i was in the wrong. wallowing in guilt. you still don't know the absolute truth. and im not sure if you ever will. im not sure i have the guts to explain. but its things like this that provoked me. broken plans, raised voices, fallen tears. i suppose i was trying to get back at you for mistakes i felt youd made. but really, im not used to being in a relationship. and i think my single past attempted to take over. i fought with all i had to keep my morals, follow what i felt was right, though im not too sure what was. what was right. what is right. i just looked at both of your differences. your flaws. your beauties. and deep down, i knew he could never compare to you, but at most times, i was angry, and i liked the constant attention. the never-ending compliments. i liked my tingly stomach, the thrill of new interest. though i never took the time to take a step back. and look at what i wouldve been missing. i know you think i have feelings for him. and maybe i did. i just liked how he treated me. and i didnt like how you always seemed to be upset. but now, i understand. hes got a girlfriend, and sure, jealousy lingers, but i love you. and i would never do anything to hurt you. so im just trying to say im sorry. sorry for the worry i put you through. sorry for the painful rumors. im sorry for this whole confusing situation. but now its over, and im thankful for that.