you spin around me like a dream.and i said. did you know i miss you.
so. if only i was as happy as i seem. and wish. and want to be. i should be. but things are holding me back right now. stressing me out. but life isnt fair, right. but i am looking forward to this weekend. ill be going to the something corporate show. and then on saturday, a fun party i hope. and also, ill be spending my day with luke and rj. while daniel spends his with tina, crystal, and kristina. i guess thats the plan. it was rjs idea. daniel thinks my friends hate him. i dont think they do. but hey. they might feel the same about me. who knows. i guess i spend too much time with him. and i know youll end up reading this. writing my life down for you to discover. its just wonderful. but i need someone to talk to, and right now, the computer is the only one here. sad. so yes. ill just state the obvious. i have a boyfriend. i am with him a lot. i really like him. ok. ive never felt this before and im really confused. i just want to be happy. and i wish you could be happy for me too. but instead. i get stressed out. you really dont understand how hard this is on me right now. i try to please both of you, but everytime. every single time. it never works the way it should. the way id meant it to. i wish you could just be there for me. and im not trying to make you look like the bad guy. because i know i am in the wrong. but this is all new to me, i just need time to adjust. and just for the record, i would never ditch you. leave you for him. even though it may not seem like it, id be lost without you all. so just know that i do care. my world doesnt revolve around him. so dont make false judgements. theres so much more going through my head, but im tired. so i just hope things work out.