(no subject)
I want to express. IT ANGERS ME THAT I CAN'T PULL ANY EXPRESSION FROM THIS GODDAMN HEAD.
I've been feeling especially self-conscious with my weight lately. I swear to god, I know I gained weight. But no one seems to notice. Guuuhhhh.. -_______-
I hate to be "typical teenager bitching about her weight", but all I ask is to be healthy and comfortable. I am neither. It really isn't like I'm some fucking stick who craves to weigh as much as my two foot brother.
But. Moving on.
I've pretty much given up all hope of going to Bolsa. And I should seriously save myself the endeavor of trying to go to Westminster. Cause truth be told, I just don't want to go. There isn't really a sufficient or reasonable answer why, I just don't. Only reason why I'd go is because I already have friends going there. And if that's the case, then why not try to start over at Pacifica?
.. BECAUSE I'M SCARED.
I know I'll make friends, it'll take time, but I can do it. I'm decent, and capable of doing that simple task. But nope. My pussy ass is just scared of change. That's my one fear: change. Put me through shit, but at the end of the day, I get to come back home. Where I'm comfortable. But change = ANXIETY
I'm really glad, however, to be leaving Jordan. The two years I've contributed to that school has finally paid off! But. I honestly am not as happy as I'd have thought about "graduating".
I watched Monster earlier. Pretty Intense. Good acting, though.
I've been feeling especially self-conscious with my weight lately. I swear to god, I know I gained weight. But no one seems to notice. Guuuhhhh.. -_______-
I hate to be "typical teenager bitching about her weight", but all I ask is to be healthy and comfortable. I am neither. It really isn't like I'm some fucking stick who craves to weigh as much as my two foot brother.
But. Moving on.
I've pretty much given up all hope of going to Bolsa. And I should seriously save myself the endeavor of trying to go to Westminster. Cause truth be told, I just don't want to go. There isn't really a sufficient or reasonable answer why, I just don't. Only reason why I'd go is because I already have friends going there. And if that's the case, then why not try to start over at Pacifica?
.. BECAUSE I'M SCARED.
I know I'll make friends, it'll take time, but I can do it. I'm decent, and capable of doing that simple task. But nope. My pussy ass is just scared of change. That's my one fear: change. Put me through shit, but at the end of the day, I get to come back home. Where I'm comfortable. But change = ANXIETY
I'm really glad, however, to be leaving Jordan. The two years I've contributed to that school has finally paid off! But. I honestly am not as happy as I'd have thought about "graduating".
I watched Monster earlier. Pretty Intense. Good acting, though.