Almost Lovers. [Ryan/Brendon][PATD][PG]
{Almost Lovers. Ryan/Brendon, PATD. 961. PG.}
{i was over at bandslashsecret and i saw this secret, so i listened to the song, and it was heartbreaking. so, i wrote this, in about 15 minutes mind you, and i decided to post it. i don't like it that much, i think it's rather dry, so i'm not going to post it to any communties. but, here you are, a treat(?) i guess.}
{title and lyrics credit to almost lovers by a fine frenzy. don't own, etc.}
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
A certain Ryan Ross is stuck in your brain, on repeat like a record with a scratch down its body. When you wake up he's there. Moments when you slip into memories, the nostalgia flooding your sense so bad you just need to sit, is when you miss him so bad it hurts.
Maybe it's because you remember the feel of his fingertips tracing your skin. Maybe it's the laugh of his lips against yours. Maybe it's the way you danced together in your living room. Maybe it's because you were actually in love, and Ryan Ross has no idea what that means.
You loved his singing voice, the way it sounded so much like him, the gruff monotone. He sang to you sitting out on the hammock by the ocean. His voice skipped through your head, making your stomach fill to the brim with butterflies. His hand held your shaking one as you stared at the tops of the palm trees. They bent in the breeze over your head, soft and serene. Their leaves were stark against the baby blue sky.
You twisted your body to look at him. When he looked back you, his eyes held sadness. You couldn't figure out why. Maybe that's because you were in love, and Ryan Ross could never figure out what that meant.
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You didn't understand when he brought her in on his arm. He introduced her around, smiling like mad and saying he had a girlfriend. She was beautiful, you wouldn't lie. You could see it in Ryan's eyes, his happiness; he was filled to the brim with joy. You couldn't see him lose that, you were his best friend. You shook hands and played nice, all the time the butterflies in your stomach were mocking you. They beat their wings against your stomach lining, threatening you with sickness. You couldn't help your shaking hands, but Ryan couldn't, wouldn't hold them this time. He had her.
Maybe he couldn't tell, but you left early on purpose. You couldn't stand to see them exchange glances one more time. You were so angry you punched his car on the way out. You set off the alarm and hurt your knuckles.
It was betrayal, hard and set in your chest. You could feel sharp pains, your heart stressing, when you thought about his name.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Ryan.
You punched the dry wall in your house and left a hole.
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Car horns blared, but Ryan didn't care. He gripped your hand loosely, and twirled you. You suppose it was dangerous, dancing in the middle of the road on the median, but you didn't care. You laughed at loud as a truck full of old guys drove by and flipped you both off. He grinned like mad, and grabbed you around the waist. He held you against him as you swayed, kissing your head and whispering nonsense in your ear. You couldn't stop your smile. It stretched across your face the entire day.
He would ask why you were so damn happy. All you had to say was, "you". You were so damn happy because of him.
When the street was clear you ran to the other side. Ryan was yelling at you, but you just laughed, and collapsed on the sidewalk. Ryan grinned at you, giving you his hand to pull you up. His arm wrapped around your waist once you had stood, bringing you in closer.
He kissed you on the mouth, soft and sweet and sighing. You returned the kiss with enthusiasm, touching his cheek, his sides, his hips, the small of his back. Horns blared past you, but you weren't paying attention. Ryan smiled so big you kissed his teeth, but you didn't care. Neither did he, because he just chuckled into your mouth and held you. He grabbed your hand again as you walked down the street.
Butterflies danced in your stomach.
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
You knew it was coming, you weren't stupid. You just didn't want to except the reality of it. As far as kissing got you, you didn't feel close to Ryan anymore. Not like you were still best friends.
His hand slipped against yours, holding them tightly. You were shaking, nerves you supposed, you could never get rid of them around him. He stood at your door, seeming rushed and out of sorts. He told you, he said you have to stop fooling around. He wasn't looking to fall in love. Not that he was, in love that is, but he could be and that scared him.
You were just silent, nodding, you swore you were going to throw up, that's how horrible you felt. So, no more. He just nodded, distracted, then gave you a kiss on the lips. Soft, sweet, simple goodbyes.
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
You couldn't help it; maybe it was spite, buried deep in your chest for so long. You let words slip that made his head snap up, his eyes sad and heavy. You had never seen Ryan Ross look so sad, like you had broken his heart, and not the other way around.
He sort of just left wordlessly, his figure slipping out the door and out onto the darkened street. You meant it, you think, but at the same time you didn't. Your stomach erupted into butterflies, their wings beating as fast as your heart. You couldn't take it back, but you weren't sure you wanted to.
"Should have known."
{i was over at bandslashsecret and i saw this secret, so i listened to the song, and it was heartbreaking. so, i wrote this, in about 15 minutes mind you, and i decided to post it. i don't like it that much, i think it's rather dry, so i'm not going to post it to any communties. but, here you are, a treat(?) i guess.}
{title and lyrics credit to almost lovers by a fine frenzy. don't own, etc.}
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
A certain Ryan Ross is stuck in your brain, on repeat like a record with a scratch down its body. When you wake up he's there. Moments when you slip into memories, the nostalgia flooding your sense so bad you just need to sit, is when you miss him so bad it hurts.
Maybe it's because you remember the feel of his fingertips tracing your skin. Maybe it's the laugh of his lips against yours. Maybe it's the way you danced together in your living room. Maybe it's because you were actually in love, and Ryan Ross has no idea what that means.
You loved his singing voice, the way it sounded so much like him, the gruff monotone. He sang to you sitting out on the hammock by the ocean. His voice skipped through your head, making your stomach fill to the brim with butterflies. His hand held your shaking one as you stared at the tops of the palm trees. They bent in the breeze over your head, soft and serene. Their leaves were stark against the baby blue sky.
You twisted your body to look at him. When he looked back you, his eyes held sadness. You couldn't figure out why. Maybe that's because you were in love, and Ryan Ross could never figure out what that meant.
Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You didn't understand when he brought her in on his arm. He introduced her around, smiling like mad and saying he had a girlfriend. She was beautiful, you wouldn't lie. You could see it in Ryan's eyes, his happiness; he was filled to the brim with joy. You couldn't see him lose that, you were his best friend. You shook hands and played nice, all the time the butterflies in your stomach were mocking you. They beat their wings against your stomach lining, threatening you with sickness. You couldn't help your shaking hands, but Ryan couldn't, wouldn't hold them this time. He had her.
Maybe he couldn't tell, but you left early on purpose. You couldn't stand to see them exchange glances one more time. You were so angry you punched his car on the way out. You set off the alarm and hurt your knuckles.
It was betrayal, hard and set in your chest. You could feel sharp pains, your heart stressing, when you thought about his name.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Ryan.
You punched the dry wall in your house and left a hole.
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Car horns blared, but Ryan didn't care. He gripped your hand loosely, and twirled you. You suppose it was dangerous, dancing in the middle of the road on the median, but you didn't care. You laughed at loud as a truck full of old guys drove by and flipped you both off. He grinned like mad, and grabbed you around the waist. He held you against him as you swayed, kissing your head and whispering nonsense in your ear. You couldn't stop your smile. It stretched across your face the entire day.
He would ask why you were so damn happy. All you had to say was, "you". You were so damn happy because of him.
When the street was clear you ran to the other side. Ryan was yelling at you, but you just laughed, and collapsed on the sidewalk. Ryan grinned at you, giving you his hand to pull you up. His arm wrapped around your waist once you had stood, bringing you in closer.
He kissed you on the mouth, soft and sweet and sighing. You returned the kiss with enthusiasm, touching his cheek, his sides, his hips, the small of his back. Horns blared past you, but you weren't paying attention. Ryan smiled so big you kissed his teeth, but you didn't care. Neither did he, because he just chuckled into your mouth and held you. He grabbed your hand again as you walked down the street.
Butterflies danced in your stomach.
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
You knew it was coming, you weren't stupid. You just didn't want to except the reality of it. As far as kissing got you, you didn't feel close to Ryan anymore. Not like you were still best friends.
His hand slipped against yours, holding them tightly. You were shaking, nerves you supposed, you could never get rid of them around him. He stood at your door, seeming rushed and out of sorts. He told you, he said you have to stop fooling around. He wasn't looking to fall in love. Not that he was, in love that is, but he could be and that scared him.
You were just silent, nodding, you swore you were going to throw up, that's how horrible you felt. So, no more. He just nodded, distracted, then gave you a kiss on the lips. Soft, sweet, simple goodbyes.
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
You couldn't help it; maybe it was spite, buried deep in your chest for so long. You let words slip that made his head snap up, his eyes sad and heavy. You had never seen Ryan Ross look so sad, like you had broken his heart, and not the other way around.
He sort of just left wordlessly, his figure slipping out the door and out onto the darkened street. You meant it, you think, but at the same time you didn't. Your stomach erupted into butterflies, their wings beating as fast as your heart. You couldn't take it back, but you weren't sure you wanted to.
"Should have known."