The why of strip clubs
Over the weekend I was at Brian's friends' home for his 37th birthday. It was 3 couples, including us, a single dood, and the other 2 couples' kids.
I try to surround myself with good people and admittedly, like-minded people. Who doesn't? To be around otherwise is painful, and I mean that sincerely. Oftentimes when I'm around 'normal' people, it makes me again realize that I hate the world and the patriarchy that dictates it. And how I see how the patriarchy really fucking brainwashes people, namely men, as they are the ones who benefit from the system.
I was out on the porch with my dood, and the three other men, just shooting the old bull. Then the single one goes on to tell a tale of the obligatory "Menz nite out" ohwearesomanlyandvirile bullshit.
The tale started at the Broncos game, moved to the obligatory strip club (with the dainty name of Dapper Dan's or some shit), climaxed with them getting kicked out of said strip club, and one of them throwing up in the car. Lovely.
And this is how insulated I've made myself during my brain cleansings of anti-porn, anti-exploitation feminist pro-sex anti-oppressive websites and people-I had no idea they were talking about a strip club. (Would that be insulation or selective hearing? The jury is out).I put the pieces together later. God knows what would have cursed out of my mouth had I known at the time. He even said that they got kicked out because he put down a tip, then took some back because of some element of the service. Could have been a restaurant, right? Until the kicked out part.
My point with this is, a woman can't go anywhere without being reminded that she is a second class citizen, only good to the world (read: Men) for her body and sex and what men can use her for. I can't even go to a party without finding out my fellows for the night are scum pigs who feel that women deserve to be ogled and degraded for their viewing pleasure. Just speaking of said subjugation so flippantly, like it's a weekday trip to Whole Foods makes me sick to remember now.
And another big point: No one ever addresses these men and asks them why they would participate in such an act. Why? Because it's their god-given right as Men, dammit!!!! Those girls had a CHOICE to get up there on that stage and flash their silicone and vulvas to them! It's their CHOICE to rub their tits in men's faces for money, and to remove pieces of clothing to men for money. Men have a right to view every woman's body, even if they have to pay for it. If I asked that guy at the party "But why did you go to a strip club?" I would have no doubt been met with clueless gazes and blank faces. The thought wouldn't even enter their heads. Well of course they went to a strip club, they're men! That's what men do! Participate with other men in the oppression of women...TOGETHER!!! (Funny how no one ever questions the MEN'S choice to go there in the first fucking place. I blame the patriarchy. Again.)((If men didn't go to strip clubs, THERE WOULDN'T BE STRIP CLUBS. No demand=no supply.))
They just love women and appreciate their beautiful bodies dontchaknow. What's so wrong with that? Looking upon the figure of a beautiful naked woman? Especially if the woman is CHOOSING to work there and KNOWS there will be skeevy men molesting her. /sarcasm
Just the thought of a man LOOKING at me in an unwelcome way WITH MY CLOTHES ON IN THE ELEVATOR is unsettling. To be able to compartmentalize those feelings (that I understand some women may not have) and to be a stripper is terrifying to me. Personally I feel that doing something like that exposes a vulnerability and exposure that no woman should have to participate in in order to make a living. Ever.
It's sad that we live in a world where a woman's body can be bought, sold, and traded for money, like a commodity.
Definitive statement: When sexism is eradicated, and men truly understand and feel that women are their equals, strip clubs will no longer exist. This is because men will realize Woman as an individual, an equal, a full human. Until then, women are relegated to sex objects only, and men can buy, rent, and view them for their pleasure, and throw them away when they're done. I pray for the day.
To confront a man head-on with cries of sexism is pretty daring. How dare the captive class try to challenge the natural order of Woman-As-Sex-Slave, Men-As-Dominator? Even writing this now, a letter to no one, is exhilarating. Would asking the common man a question such as "Why would you go to a strip club" be as productive as questioning a silent audience? What kind of response would I get? Well, whenever a man's privilege is ever challenged or directly addressed, the natural response is anger. Anger that someone is challenging the natural order. Denial that this order exists and denial that women are second class. To put women up to Human Status is fucking up that order, thereby placing them side by side with us instead of above us. Their storied and coveted position as kings of the world would be no more. Men will desperately try to hold on to this at all costs, so any woman or man questioning, challenging, or trying to change this order will be punished. (Related: femme gay males and dyke females as challenging the natural order, and the straights that hate them. Story at 8).
These pig men from the other night probably see themselves as being progressive, not sexist. The man that got kicked out of the club is married and has a little boy for chrissakes. A boy. Some would like to think that if he had a girl, he could commiserate a bit and realize "I would not want my daughter to grow up and be a stripper. To have men ogle her and use her as a meat puppet. That girl up there gyrating is someone's daughter, too. Gross." Sure, I'm sure they won't. That won't stop them from patronizing such dark establishments. You see, because *their* daughters are beautiful little unique snowflakes of girls, and the strippers are slutty jezebels not worthy of pity or personification because they're not really human, you see? To think of strippers, sex workers, as human, would be to acknowledge that they have thoughts and dreams and aspirations, and feelings. They have to divorce themselves of that way of thinking so they can objectify them like pieces of meat. Much like a lot of omnivores divorce the thought that a cow was once happy and alive and now it's a slab of red bleeding meat on their plate.
And what about their wives and girlfriends? Their husbands and boyfriends say "they don't care" but a part of me believes that they do care. They just feel they have no recourse or any right to stop them. Because that would make you a domineering harpy, a bossy bitch, and the man would be the pussy. (see the switching of gender roles there? Try to keep up: man=good, woman=bad. The worse thing you can call a guy is a pussy, because girls suck.) ((For the way patriarchy has infiltrated our very LANGUAGE, catch the exclusive at 10pm)). For a woman to assert herself in the relationship and say, "No, I'm not okay with you being a sexist pig and patronizing such a disgusting place" and taking a stand against sexism is disarming to a man. Why, it's his god-given right to view naked women!!! Especially naked women that aren't his partner! Women that look NOTHING LIKE HIS PARTNER. Geez, it's not like he's FUCKING them or anything! Lay off. Some men might see this as women being 'bossy' and taking a stand on something she believes in. How dare that bitch try and tell him what to do?! He can do whatever he wants, dammit! I daresay because of this, women are too afraid to speak up, lest they be labeled as bossy (a good quality in a man, I might add, but in a woman, it's emasculating). I would also like to add that a preemptive request to ask your (supposedly loving, caring, and understanding) partner not to go to one of these hells on earth could open up a whole new can of worms. What if he says no? What if he insists that he's going to do whatever he wants? Will he play this card on a number of future things that I may ask of him, my supposed loving, caring and understanding partner? Bitches always be trying to get men down! We all know the best way to survive in a patriarchy (but not be taken seriously, and still not be seen as equals) is to be "willing" and turn the other cheek and try to forget that it exists and 'not care' or to participate in it, gobbling up the crumbs of cookies that the men give you for their temporary acceptance of you for being "cool". Stockholm syndrome women take what they can get.
Call to action: Men who consider yourselves progressive and not sexist-at-all-thank-you: Put your dollar bills where your mouth is. Don't participate in sexism by patronizing these establishments. By attending one, you are complicit in our subjugation, you are agreeing to the code of the patriarchy that states that we exist for your pleasure only. Don't. Fucking. Go. To do otherwise is saying "Yay sexism!"
I try to surround myself with good people and admittedly, like-minded people. Who doesn't? To be around otherwise is painful, and I mean that sincerely. Oftentimes when I'm around 'normal' people, it makes me again realize that I hate the world and the patriarchy that dictates it. And how I see how the patriarchy really fucking brainwashes people, namely men, as they are the ones who benefit from the system.
I was out on the porch with my dood, and the three other men, just shooting the old bull. Then the single one goes on to tell a tale of the obligatory "Menz nite out" ohwearesomanlyandvirile bullshit.
The tale started at the Broncos game, moved to the obligatory strip club (with the dainty name of Dapper Dan's or some shit), climaxed with them getting kicked out of said strip club, and one of them throwing up in the car. Lovely.
And this is how insulated I've made myself during my brain cleansings of anti-porn, anti-exploitation feminist pro-sex anti-oppressive websites and people-I had no idea they were talking about a strip club. (Would that be insulation or selective hearing? The jury is out).I put the pieces together later. God knows what would have cursed out of my mouth had I known at the time. He even said that they got kicked out because he put down a tip, then took some back because of some element of the service. Could have been a restaurant, right? Until the kicked out part.
My point with this is, a woman can't go anywhere without being reminded that she is a second class citizen, only good to the world (read: Men) for her body and sex and what men can use her for. I can't even go to a party without finding out my fellows for the night are scum pigs who feel that women deserve to be ogled and degraded for their viewing pleasure. Just speaking of said subjugation so flippantly, like it's a weekday trip to Whole Foods makes me sick to remember now.
And another big point: No one ever addresses these men and asks them why they would participate in such an act. Why? Because it's their god-given right as Men, dammit!!!! Those girls had a CHOICE to get up there on that stage and flash their silicone and vulvas to them! It's their CHOICE to rub their tits in men's faces for money, and to remove pieces of clothing to men for money. Men have a right to view every woman's body, even if they have to pay for it. If I asked that guy at the party "But why did you go to a strip club?" I would have no doubt been met with clueless gazes and blank faces. The thought wouldn't even enter their heads. Well of course they went to a strip club, they're men! That's what men do! Participate with other men in the oppression of women...TOGETHER!!! (Funny how no one ever questions the MEN'S choice to go there in the first fucking place. I blame the patriarchy. Again.)((If men didn't go to strip clubs, THERE WOULDN'T BE STRIP CLUBS. No demand=no supply.))
They just love women and appreciate their beautiful bodies dontchaknow. What's so wrong with that? Looking upon the figure of a beautiful naked woman? Especially if the woman is CHOOSING to work there and KNOWS there will be skeevy men molesting her. /sarcasm
Just the thought of a man LOOKING at me in an unwelcome way WITH MY CLOTHES ON IN THE ELEVATOR is unsettling. To be able to compartmentalize those feelings (that I understand some women may not have) and to be a stripper is terrifying to me. Personally I feel that doing something like that exposes a vulnerability and exposure that no woman should have to participate in in order to make a living. Ever.
It's sad that we live in a world where a woman's body can be bought, sold, and traded for money, like a commodity.
Definitive statement: When sexism is eradicated, and men truly understand and feel that women are their equals, strip clubs will no longer exist. This is because men will realize Woman as an individual, an equal, a full human. Until then, women are relegated to sex objects only, and men can buy, rent, and view them for their pleasure, and throw them away when they're done. I pray for the day.
To confront a man head-on with cries of sexism is pretty daring. How dare the captive class try to challenge the natural order of Woman-As-Sex-Slave, Men-As-Dominator? Even writing this now, a letter to no one, is exhilarating. Would asking the common man a question such as "Why would you go to a strip club" be as productive as questioning a silent audience? What kind of response would I get? Well, whenever a man's privilege is ever challenged or directly addressed, the natural response is anger. Anger that someone is challenging the natural order. Denial that this order exists and denial that women are second class. To put women up to Human Status is fucking up that order, thereby placing them side by side with us instead of above us. Their storied and coveted position as kings of the world would be no more. Men will desperately try to hold on to this at all costs, so any woman or man questioning, challenging, or trying to change this order will be punished. (Related: femme gay males and dyke females as challenging the natural order, and the straights that hate them. Story at 8).
These pig men from the other night probably see themselves as being progressive, not sexist. The man that got kicked out of the club is married and has a little boy for chrissakes. A boy. Some would like to think that if he had a girl, he could commiserate a bit and realize "I would not want my daughter to grow up and be a stripper. To have men ogle her and use her as a meat puppet. That girl up there gyrating is someone's daughter, too. Gross." Sure, I'm sure they won't. That won't stop them from patronizing such dark establishments. You see, because *their* daughters are beautiful little unique snowflakes of girls, and the strippers are slutty jezebels not worthy of pity or personification because they're not really human, you see? To think of strippers, sex workers, as human, would be to acknowledge that they have thoughts and dreams and aspirations, and feelings. They have to divorce themselves of that way of thinking so they can objectify them like pieces of meat. Much like a lot of omnivores divorce the thought that a cow was once happy and alive and now it's a slab of red bleeding meat on their plate.
And what about their wives and girlfriends? Their husbands and boyfriends say "they don't care" but a part of me believes that they do care. They just feel they have no recourse or any right to stop them. Because that would make you a domineering harpy, a bossy bitch, and the man would be the pussy. (see the switching of gender roles there? Try to keep up: man=good, woman=bad. The worse thing you can call a guy is a pussy, because girls suck.) ((For the way patriarchy has infiltrated our very LANGUAGE, catch the exclusive at 10pm)). For a woman to assert herself in the relationship and say, "No, I'm not okay with you being a sexist pig and patronizing such a disgusting place" and taking a stand against sexism is disarming to a man. Why, it's his god-given right to view naked women!!! Especially naked women that aren't his partner! Women that look NOTHING LIKE HIS PARTNER. Geez, it's not like he's FUCKING them or anything! Lay off. Some men might see this as women being 'bossy' and taking a stand on something she believes in. How dare that bitch try and tell him what to do?! He can do whatever he wants, dammit! I daresay because of this, women are too afraid to speak up, lest they be labeled as bossy (a good quality in a man, I might add, but in a woman, it's emasculating). I would also like to add that a preemptive request to ask your (supposedly loving, caring, and understanding) partner not to go to one of these hells on earth could open up a whole new can of worms. What if he says no? What if he insists that he's going to do whatever he wants? Will he play this card on a number of future things that I may ask of him, my supposed loving, caring and understanding partner? Bitches always be trying to get men down! We all know the best way to survive in a patriarchy (but not be taken seriously, and still not be seen as equals) is to be "willing" and turn the other cheek and try to forget that it exists and 'not care' or to participate in it, gobbling up the crumbs of cookies that the men give you for their temporary acceptance of you for being "cool". Stockholm syndrome women take what they can get.
Call to action: Men who consider yourselves progressive and not sexist-at-all-thank-you: Put your dollar bills where your mouth is. Don't participate in sexism by patronizing these establishments. By attending one, you are complicit in our subjugation, you are agreeing to the code of the patriarchy that states that we exist for your pleasure only. Don't. Fucking. Go. To do otherwise is saying "Yay sexism!"