bitch &moan.
i am having a really hard time dealing with this. i can't eat. i can't stop thinking. i have got to be depressed. i think i need medicine.
my birthday is on friday, and the only thing rick got me was a new girlfriend. this kills me because i never had a connection with someone like i had with him. when i thought i was pregnant, i was scared and upset and afraid but at the same time so happy it was his. fortunately/unfortunately i was not pregnant. i guess i'm glad i'm not since my baby daddy would have a mistress right now. it was really hard tucking away all the notes, pictures, paintings, etc. but it had to be done. i won't let myself get hurt again, and i won't make anymore stupid mistakes. it also just occured to me that i left someone who treated me like a princess, for what i thought was love. i just ended up killing myself and my emotional well-being. i just want someone who can be mature and have one person, and one person only, forever. i want the person who chooses me not to choose someone else a month later.
i don't know. some days i'm all smiles, somedays i'm just always on the verge of tears.
school makes me happy because i get to see all of my friends that i don't see on a regular basis, all the time.
today i spent the day with paul. it was pretty fun. i don't know.
anyway,
here are some pictures.
without an lj cut. don't like it? blow me.
i like my new tattoo.
&i like my yellow dress.
the word of the day today is "squirting".
mission accomplished. boop boop BE doop!
i guess it's now time to lay in bed with KGiusti. via phone or irl. idk yet. whatev. i don't care.
i've been friends with this kid since kindergarten. it's pretty wild!
i think my birthday is going to suck.
it's like, i have all these guys that message me, hit on me, whatever, and i want to like go for it but i feel like none of them can ever equate to what rick and i had... and also i don't want to get fucked over anymore. meh. meh. meh. i want to lose 40 pounds. good niggghht.
ps; i watched every episode of LA INK today instead of going to work. i think it was worth it. my mom made homemade salsa for me to enjoy whilst viewing. <3
my birthday is on friday, and the only thing rick got me was a new girlfriend. this kills me because i never had a connection with someone like i had with him. when i thought i was pregnant, i was scared and upset and afraid but at the same time so happy it was his. fortunately/unfortunately i was not pregnant. i guess i'm glad i'm not since my baby daddy would have a mistress right now. it was really hard tucking away all the notes, pictures, paintings, etc. but it had to be done. i won't let myself get hurt again, and i won't make anymore stupid mistakes. it also just occured to me that i left someone who treated me like a princess, for what i thought was love. i just ended up killing myself and my emotional well-being. i just want someone who can be mature and have one person, and one person only, forever. i want the person who chooses me not to choose someone else a month later.
i don't know. some days i'm all smiles, somedays i'm just always on the verge of tears.
school makes me happy because i get to see all of my friends that i don't see on a regular basis, all the time.
today i spent the day with paul. it was pretty fun. i don't know.
anyway,
here are some pictures.
without an lj cut. don't like it? blow me.
i like my new tattoo.
&i like my yellow dress.
the word of the day today is "squirting".
mission accomplished. boop boop BE doop!
i guess it's now time to lay in bed with KGiusti. via phone or irl. idk yet. whatev. i don't care.
i've been friends with this kid since kindergarten. it's pretty wild!
i think my birthday is going to suck.
it's like, i have all these guys that message me, hit on me, whatever, and i want to like go for it but i feel like none of them can ever equate to what rick and i had... and also i don't want to get fucked over anymore. meh. meh. meh. i want to lose 40 pounds. good niggghht.
ps; i watched every episode of LA INK today instead of going to work. i think it was worth it. my mom made homemade salsa for me to enjoy whilst viewing. <3