Honestly...
Wow, so I turned 16 yesterday. Woop-dee-fucking-doo. I don't feel any different. Actually, I feel kind of worse. Gary didn't even fucking call me yesterday. Honestly, thats the only thing I really wanted for my birthday, a call from him telling me happy birthday and that he loves me. On the ride home from Pescatore last night, Mom put on the Carpenters and I bawled my eyes out because Karen's voice is so beautiful and it's even sadder when you know about her life...also, I just couldn't believe that Gary could hurt me so bad by not calling me...again. I think that was the worst birthday ever. I wanted to be with my friends getting fucked up and making out with my boyfriend. But of course, I never get what I wish for. I mean, I did get some cool presents. Dad/Linda/Austin/Martine got me a cool Sublime shirt, a Cal pin, and $20. Grandma and Adam got me a $100 gift certificate to Macy's. Mom got me 2 Lancome Juicy Tubes, a curl-booster from Catwalk, the After Party smoothening stuff from Bed Head, a $50 gift certificate to CD Wizard, some other stuff I can't remember. Derek got me this huge Acrylic paint set that has all these beautiful professional brushes and some canvases and a watercolor sketch book, and it comes with a bag to put it all in. Aaaand he got me an easel that I need to put together. He ALSO got me another glass, which is a hella pretty chillum, so thats tight. I only smoked 2 bowls the whole fucking day which was pretty disapointing, but we went to Cronies and played pool and then I had 2 glasses of wine at Pescatore. So, it was a nice birthday, but what I really wanted was a big fucking party with everyone I know having a great time, and Gary would be standing right by my side, which would've made my birthday a thousand times better. Oh well. I guess I need to learn to live with disapointments. I gotta go look for movie times because I wanted to go see Wedding Crashers yesterday but we didn't get to, so Mom and I are going tonight. I also need to take a shower, clean Soleil's cage, and finish sweeping all the floors in the house. What fun!